


Someone Exactly Like You

by mysticalpapaya



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Hate to Love, Romance, Shameless Smut, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-16
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2020-10-19 18:07:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 69,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20661497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysticalpapaya/pseuds/mysticalpapaya
Summary: Hermione Granger and Severus Snape do not get along. Like they can't stand each other. After one ill-advised conversation at Minerva's birthday party, they had been at odds. Meanwhile, on a popular wizarding dating site they may be unwittingly falling for the other, the problem is they have no idea that the person they are conversing with is actually the person they have sworn to loathe.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HEY there! New fic!  
Yes, it is definitely a bit You've Got Mail inspired, and no I do not own that film or its idea, nor do I have any real claim to Harry Potter. I just have a little fun with the characters. 
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you think, I would love to hear from you! Weekly posts at first and then we shall see if I can make it more frequent. <3  
XOXOXO!

The bright blue startup screen stung her eyes as Hermione opened her laptop in the almost entirely dark space of the bedroom. Typing in the password (merlinsharrybollock15) and opening up the browser, then hesitating. One nude lacquered nail paused over the ENTER key. She almost chickened out. It was the stupid sticky note, fastened to the top of the screen that made her continue into the site. The note, a lovely lavender reminder from Ginny to, as the redhead had written, 'don't be such a baby, and get out there'. Even now it made Hermione huff, this was not what she had in mind when thinking of 'getting out there'. Not that going out to a pub just to pick someone up was in her realm of normalcy either, but still. The bottom line was that it had been a long time since she'd had a proper shag… a long time. 

Squaring her shoulders, Hermione went to her own profile. Made with love by Ginny, it actually wasn't insane, she seemed to have gotten everything right. Well apart from the fact that Hermione hadn't, in fact, actually been skiing since she was probably 13, but no one really needed to know that. Reaching for her glass of wine, Hermione took a large gulp for courage and opened the matches tab. 

"Well there's a shock," she muttered to the empty room. 

To her surprise, there were at least fifteen names that popped up in her 'very compatible' section. Scrolling through there were a few promising bio's, many worked for the Ministry if they divulged their job in the info section. She wasn't exactly keen on taking out someone that may work in her office, so that meant a solid no for at least five of them. She continued to scroll for a while, reading through some obviously overindulged descriptors, and a few that weren't so bad. Promising even. It was just utter silliness that they didn't have a photo feature on the site. Honestly, isn't that dangerous? It was wizards and witches, but still. A little blue circle popped up in the bottom of her screen, the tab read: message available. 

Lips popping open in surprise Hermione clicked the button, too curious to wait. 

SP60:

_ Favourite author? George Orwell perhaps? _

Wasn't that something. Hermione was almost confused by the question until she realised that unlike the sender of this message, her username was less generic. BookGirl1984. He had also gotten the 1984 reference, that was promising. Okay. Here goes nothing. 

BookGirl1984: 

_ Ha. Up there definitely, but no, Jane Austen. Yourself? _

Hermione paused before clicking send, did she want to do this? Was it safe? What if this guy was a weirdo. Could she end up a victim in the next true crime episode some woman like herself stayed up late watching on a Saturday evening? It was possible. Hermione sent it. Then waited with more bated breath than was really necessary. 

SP60:

_ Hemingway. Ah, Austen not a poor choice, unless you count some of the less than stellar film adaptations. Though some aren't as terrible as others. I must admit that fiction is not my first pick, though I can appreciate it. I tend to enjoy Dickens, as well.  _

BookGirl1984:

_ Interesting. I have to say that though I will read just about anything, I too am partial to non-fiction. So, SP60, what do you do for a living? If I can be permitted to ask, and a better question, do you enjoy it? _

Her bottom lip was going to be sore if she kept chewing it as she sent messages. Why did it feel a bit naughty to be doing such a thing? They weren't discussing anything untoward, but it felt strange not knowing who the person was on the other side. It was also strangely exhilarating. She waited for five minutes, and there was no reply, after another ten she got up for a cup of milky tea. She was probably going to regret the caffeine, but nothing calmed nerves like a decent cuppa. Upon returning to the soft confine of her bed, the inbox was still blank. She had not thought the question was too invasive, perhaps they had just gone to bed? It was getting later. 

Shutting the laptop, she levitated it to the desk on the other side of the room and then settled back into the comforter with the book from her bedside table. One of the many. It was hard for her to focus on her chapter (not because of this SP60 person, she was sure). Eventually, Hermione turned out the lights. Managing to fall asleep after a bit of tossing and turning, Hermione had dreams of faceless men tapping away at their keyboards. 

…

Too hot liquid spilt down the front of his white shirt. 

"Fucking Christ!" Severus swore, tearing his wand from his pocket and cast a scourgify on the brown stain that had marred his otherwise pristine clothing. 

How in the hell had he managed to be so distracted by the paper that he missed his mouth? It was just another stupid article, but sometimes damn it, those headlines really were able to draw one in. What was left in his cup disgusted him on principle of the earlier having assaulted him, and Severus tossed the remaining liquid into the sink with a snarl. He'd get a cup of coffee on his way to the lab. 

Instead of flooing to the Ministry as he usually would Severus stepped out of his flat and into the bleak grey London morning. The world seemed to be sopping all around him, and he pulled the coat tighter closer, his mood was foul, not just from the coffee but the stupid blind date he had been set up on the evening before. Minerva was indeed a wicked witch. She and Poppy conspiring against him as they did. He had humoured them and ended up with nothing to show for it but a decent glass of wine and a curt retort to his perhaps somewhat irritant observation. To be truthful, he had not meant to be so incredibly blunt with the witch, but he had been nervous, and it wasn't as if he was any good at such things. Imogen Bulstrode, as well as her younger sister Millicent, had both been students of his. Minerva had been set apparently to leaving that out when setting them up. Imogen was five years older than her sister, but still, how was he at all supposed to cultivate a relationship when he had been her professor as a child? And an awfully mean one to boot. Why the girl had not gotten up and left the moment she saw who it was, would be a mystery until the day he died. Truly. 

Snape sat through the date, feeling decidedly uncomfortable and then when it came time for dessert, and the comment about his place or hers came into it, Severus couldn't help but state the reasonable thoughts that had been circling his brain. It seemed he had been a bit harsh as the woman had stood abruptly and tossed her napkin into the pudding before departing swiftly, nearly knocking over a waiter in the process. What exactly had he been meant to say? 

A tense floo call with Minerva followed about him being absurd, that he would never get anywhere if he didn't stop the sullen mopping, blah blah, only things Severus had heard many times before from the mouth of the old broad. Still, it had put him in a state. A glass of fire whisky later and he had signed up for the bloody dating site. Another drink and he actually filled out the questionnaire. Another and he had messaged someone… about her username of all things. Now in the sober light of day, it seemed just utterly outlandish. His shame and disgust for allowing himself to fall into such a state forced Snape along the path to work a tad early. Severus Snape enjoyed being alone. Until he didn't. It only ever happened once in a while. On the occasion that it did, Severus needed to get out of his flat lest he lose his mind. 

…

Ginny's auburn eyebrows were nearly disappearing into her hairline as she gazed, wide-eyed at her curly-headed friend across the table. "I cannot believe you actually did anything with it! I thought for sure that you would be closing the account the moment I wasn't there!" The ginger sat back, "I am a bit proud actually." 

"Well, he messaged me, about my username, and, well it was about books. I had to write back." Hermione picked at her sandwich whilst trying to look as if the whole thing was inconsequential. Obviously, it didn't work. 

"Merlin, you actually want to keep messaging him, don't you? This is way more than I had hoped for!" 

"No!... Maybe… keep your voice down." Glancing around they were at a popular eating spot for other Ministry workers. 

Ginny was smirking, "see, it isn't so bad, yeah? Remember all the times you got on me about it?" 

Harry and Ginny were together, but there had been quite a few years of on and off again. To the point that it felt like real life, Ross and Rachel. It was a fucking nightmare to be in the middle of, and Hermione was happy the two of them had sorted everything out, not just because she was tired of Ginny coming over to her flat when they had a bad fight. That was a good chunk of it though. Also, Hermione's metabolism really could not do with the constant icecream eating that the breakups between those two required, maybe a few years before, but not at 28. Well, almost 28... not that she cared.

"Well he hasn't sent another message, so I don't know if I will continue to talk to him anyway." Hermione took a large bite of greens and looked off at the rest of the restaurant, but out of the corner of her eye, she could still see Ginny smiling. 

"Well, I think that this is all a good thing, vibrators and romance novels are not a real flesh and blood wizard." It was announced rather loudly, the lady at a table next to them looked over with an unimpressed look on her face. Hermione and Ginny both giggled in response to that. When their antics quieted, Ginny asked, "want to go out with the gang before the wedding tomorrow?" 

"Definitely, what is that like the fifth wedding this summer? Thank god it's getting to be autumn, I can't stomach too many more of these." 

It had been weddings all summer, feeling like almost every other weekend one of their school mates were getting married, or other acquaintances they knew, that didn't even count the muggle friends that Hermione had. It was September, with any luck things would be less hectic soon. 

Ginny snorted and sipped her glass of wine, sitting back a bit in her chair, the joys of not having a 9-5 job. "This one should be better, don't you think? I mean its Professor Vector and Professor Sinestra, it can't be so painful, can it?" 

"I don't know about that, you remember Minerva's birthday party?" Madam Rosmerta had given them a large room at the Broomsticks to have the party in. If Hermione's were being very honest, she would say that she did not remember most of it, well except for one very horrifying conversation, that was her reasoning for getting so pissed. Merlin, what if he is at this thing?

Ginny seemed to notice her sudden upset and looked a bit bemusedly at her, "if he's there, just don't talk to him, yeah? Especially about his potion regimen." 

…

It was too warm for an outdoor wedding, even the English countryside was getting hit by the very last of this heatwave. Mid-afternoon seemed to be the worst, and of course, that was when Aurora and Septima had decided to have their ceremony. He could have not gone, everyone always expected him to put up a fuss about these things, but to be frank, Severus didn't totally hate them, in fact, he sort of enjoyed having something to do on occasion. On occasion, and free drinks were very agreeable. Especially for the past few years, some of the hardships of the war had worn off, and Severus felt he could drop some of the walls that had for so long shielded him from the world. The people allowed his life were there because he deemed them safe, and he actually did not hate them. Severus was not one to tolerate things or people that he did not deem worth his time. It may have been harsh, but it was the way he worked. 

Still, as the sun began to hang low and the ceremony drew to a close, he was grateful for the ability to cast a few cooling charms on himself throughout the duration. Relinquished to the tents that were set up, Severus for the first time that evening caught sight of … her. Hermione Granger was leaning against a chair, talking lightly with Potter and Weasley. She wore a mauve coloured dress, that hugged her waist and flared out slightly as it hit her hips, ending just above the knee. Severus couldn't help the eye roll that came over him at the sight of her. He had little contact with the girl after the war even if they both worked at the Ministry. He had seen her on occasion at functions or in the Ministry itself over the years. Never had they talked at all. Until Minerva's birthday the year before. The Three Broomsticks had been packed with people, and it had been challenging to move about. Somehow, he and Granger had ended up just next to each other squashed against a wall, being the chatty swot of a thing that she was Granger had tried to strike up a conversation. Severus already irritated with the close proximity that everyone was to him, he was perhaps a bit brusque with her, though who could blame him really? Miffed the witch had told him that perhaps a well-timed Elixer to Induce Euphoria wouldn't go amiss when taking his morning vitamins. Snape's returned remark had been prickly, and he had insulted her intelligence in thinking such a potion would be taken daily. To which she shot back at him that it was a joke and he was a sour, sullen drag and a wanker in addition. It went back and forth for a moment before either of them in the heat of their argument noticed the lot of the room was staring straight at them. Both had been very nearly shouting at one another. 

Since they hadn't spoken a word to each other and Severus had been set in thinking she was a petty little brat and wasn't able to help that every time he saw her anywhere, he wanted to roll his eyes and grind his teeth down to the gums as well as perhaps...

"Severus!" The bellow that came from Arthur Weasley made him lose his train of thought. Fuck, but the man was loud. 

"Hello Arthur," Severus muttered in return, shaking the man's hand. 

"Lovely wedding, yes?" 

Snape grunted, "yes… lovely," Oh, but he loathed to use that word, so he followed it with a well-timed sneer. "Other than the heat." Severus really knew that being pouty just because he had seen a woman as absurd, but that particular woman brought out the worst in him, always had. 

"Yes, yes. Molly was thinking of you calling round for supper sometime, she has a friend that she thought you might get on with." 

It seemed Arthur had been sent to do the matchmaking work, or at least solidify it, Severus tried not to cringe at the thought of what could be waiting should he give in to such a request. "Eh, I should think that is not such a good idea if you get my meaning?" Severus looked to the older man, hoping the look appealed to any sense he had of masculine loyalty. 

"Right, I understand then, but really don't you want to find yourself, someone?" 

Severus bit back the immediate albeit rude retort that his mind so wished to expel and instead shook his head. Instead, he ground his teeth, "I appreciate the effort, really, but I am just fine as I am. Alone." 

"Right, right, of course, come on then let's get a drink, eh?" 

That Severus could do and followed Arthur toward the bar, he would socialise for a while, or more like cling to the walls, let people see him there and then he could make do with leaving. 

…

She had tried her hardest to avoid Poppy, but Hermione had just not been quick enough, the Hogwarts matron was surprisingly spry for her age, and it did Hermione a detriment. 

"Hello Poppy," Hermione murmured as the woman pulled her into a tight hug. 

The woman pulled back, but did not let go of Hermione's forearms, "well aren't you just a sight for sore eyes, that colour is simply marvellous on you."

"Thank you." Hermione smiled and was able to extract herself enough to take a lengthy sip of her wine, "you look lovely as well." 

"Nonsense," the woman flipped a hand about, "now who have you brought with you this evening?" 

Instantly Hermione deflated. Was that really what people were concerned with? Was that what was going on in their head? 'You look great, Hermione and also where is your man?' Nothing about her efforts at work and passing laws that help the various species in Great Britain, no, not that. Instead, everyone's interest was in if she was getting cock with any regularity. 

"Just me."

"Oh, what a shame!" 

"It's alright, just means I can catch up with everyone easier." Hermione desperately looked around for a reason to leave or something that she needed to go and do. So bloody obsessed with her love life. Wasn't it enough that she had a career and life, her own flat in London for god's sake? That wasn't cheap. Oh, bugger… she sounded like Bridget Jones. 

"Poppy, will you excuse me for a moment?" 

"Of course dear," the Hogwarts matron looked puzzled, but let her go. 

Hermione did not know exactly where it was she was going, she just knew that with her realisation, she could not stay there. So she walked from the tent and into the hedges that surrounded the garden, finally breathing a sigh of relief when she saw an empty bench that seemed to be well secluded. Loosening her grip on the glass of Rosé as she had been clutching it tightly and felt some of the condensation slip down her wrist, now that the outside air was cooling it made her shiver slightly as she sat. Glass partway to her lips Hermione was startled by a deep voice. "Of course it's bloody you." The unexpected sound caused her to drop the glass, it shattered all over the cobblestone walk. 

Jerking her head up, she could see Severus Snape holding his own perfectly unbroken glass of red wine, concealed partially behind a hedge, no surprise she had not seen him initially. 

"What the hell?" The rage in her voice wasn't easily contained. 

He stared back at her impassive. 

Squatting down as best she could in her dress, Hermione began to pick up the broken pieces of her glass. 

"Bloody Merlin, Granger you do remember you are a witch don't you?"

"Fuck off Snape." Despite her being angry, she waved her wand, and the pieces of the glass were banished. She straightened and made for the way she had come, there was no way she was going to stay trapped with that arsehole. Before Hermione really started moving, she looked at him over her shoulder, he was still standing there, looking a bit irritated but mostly just as ease, leaning against the greenery. It was strange that a black suit could look like that against such vibrant plants, it made her want to paint it or something. Um, what? Nope, she had something to say to him.

"You know, despite the constantly cruel comments from posh wankers like you, I am grateful that I grew up in a home where I didn't use magic all the time. Just means that I can do things for myself." With that, she only saw the briefest looked of rage pass over his features, then she was gone. 

What an insufferable man. Did he just enjoy making everyone miserable? Hermione spotted Ginny near the tent entrance, rushing over. 

Snatching a new glass of wine from a waiter, Hermione murmured out of the corner of her mouth so the boys wouldn't hear. "I just had an altercation with fucking Snape." 

"Oh, dear. Well, I can't wait to hear this one." Ginny gave her a look that said  _ later _ . 

The situation with the boys was different than in school, now the two of them had an odd respect for Snape and were usually the ones to say she was being disrespectful. In school, it had been the opposite. Either way, Hermione did her best to avoid talking to them about her loathing of the former professor in question. After a few more sips, Hermione began to feel more relaxed and eased into the conversation, trying to forget Snape. 

…

Who the hell did she think she was? He had spent the better part of his young life in a house with a man that hated magic. Fuck Golden Girl Granger, she knew nothing. Severus had very quickly removed himself to the bar after that unfortunate meeting with Granger. Trading in his wine for a glass of whiskey and then walking off on his own once again. 

This time the sun was setting, and it gleamed against the sea just nearby. The hazy purple and orange streaked sky soothed him. Coupled with the warmth that travelled down his throat into his belly with every sip of whisky, it was actually a beautiful moment. Gazing out at the sky, something inside of himself calmed. There was no need to be so worked up about life at this instant was there? He was generally decently comfortable, somewhat fulfilled and in control of his own life. Those were things that given a chance even 12 years earlier he would have possibly given everything for. Simple pleasures that he was beginning to take for granted, and it just wouldn't do. Breathing in the slightly salty air, Severus took his time finishing his drink before going back to the tent. 

Giving Aurora and Septima his best Severus slipped away from the gathered and apparated straight into his flat. He opened the windows to let the early autumnal air in and lit the fire for a bit of ambience. 

Toeing off his boots, he placed them right where they belonged near the entry and set the kettle to boil as he removed his frock coat and unbuttoned the top few of his shirt. When the water was ready, he made a steaming cup of tea, the  _ muggle way,  _ adding milk and taking it to his armchair near the sliding glass door that faced out over the city. Summoning his book on native British herbs for brewing and his laptop for any research that he wished to type as he found it Severus relaxed into the bliss of his ordinary but utterly pleasant evening. 

As he went to open a document for research, the dating site popped open, as it was the last thing that he had viewed. A little red flag was placed over his inbox. He had not even noticed this morning that there had been a message from BookGirl1984, curiosity got the better of him, and he opened the message. She asked what he did for a living. Interesting. For a moment, he thought about closing the tab and never revisiting again, but something strange won out, and he typed out a response. 

SP60: 

_ I work in potions. Mostly regulation techniques and training apprentices, the semantics of the business. Concerning loving it, I suppose I don't detest it, but I tend to prefer experimentation. _

Severus sent it before he could change his mind, then closed the tab and went back to his reading. Taking a sip of tea, closing his eyes and enjoying the familiar flavour coating his tongue, before beginning to read. He smiled just briefly when a bit later he heard the small ting that signalled he had received a message in return.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome response to the first chapter! <3 all of you!   
xoxo!

Hermione had very nearly not been able to hold her excitement when she saw the new message pop up. By evening the next day, Hermione had almost forgotten about her encounter with her old potions professor, the old git. SP60 and herself had moved passed all of the basics, she knew he worked in potions but seemed to have a pension for research and experimentation, which it appeared he would prefer to do. Hermione also knew that he was possibly more well-read than she was, though not entirely, he was actually very familiar with muggle books as well and that made her think that perhaps he was muggle-born, or half-blood at least. Though she had to admit that wasn't the kindest assumption she had ever made. He seemed to be interested in her life as well, but also aware it seemed of the fact that they had not met and that meant that there was an odd barrier. That could potentially, given the wrong comment end up with either party seeming pervy or pushy, He took notice of this unvoiced line, avoiding it as did she, at least that was what Hermione hoped she was doing. 

There was even lighter talk, she found out that he had always wanted a dog, but just hadn't got up the gumption to get one. Hermione herself had not been able to bring herself to get another animal after Crooks had died, she didn't mention that though as it was still somewhat fresh in her mind. Their conversations were so stimulating that Hermione found herself thinking about all of it during her Monday at work.

After years of working her arse off, she could finally say that she was the Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Though now it was far less about regulation and control, thank Merlin. Presently she just needed to get the name change approved. It was work that Hermione loved, and it felt like she was making a difference. Her office was near Harry's and Ron's, so they often crossed paths, an excellent benefit to that placement. She got to hear some of the more hilarious of the stories they had from the Auror department. Still that morning, she was having a tough time keeping her brain where it should be. Instead, the idea of going home to her laptop and recent pen pal was calling to her. 

At four she was finally able to leave, alas when she checked her schedule for that day, her mood of liberation instantly deflated, realising that it was her night to host the Knitting Group. Meaning she needed to go to the shop. With a resigned sigh, Hermione grabbed her things and left for muggle London; she very much preferred to do most of her regular shopping there, plus she was a sucker for a decent Starbucks. Off to the Tescos, Hermione went. It was well enough anyway, she needed to get a few of the things that were on her list as well, as well as snacks and drinks for the evening. 

Going shopping was not one of her preferred activities, but unfortunately, it was a necessity. There wasn't much else that could be done, and after a long workday, it seemed an even bigger feat. The girls tended to like the usual wine, crackers, cheese and nuts, so Hermione had an order planned with the grocer every time she knew it was her turn, it made her time there less, and it was just being prepared. That was something she excelled at, being prepared eased her mind, and it was an anxious mind when it wanted to be. Whilst they were readying that Hermione wandered to the liquor section of the store. The diverse tastes in wine was a significant issue almost always, though she managed to be not picky herself. Wine was wine. 

Staring at the selection, she picked out a Pinot Grigio along with a Red Blend and a Rosé. That should quell the needs of everyone. The knitting group had been started between all of them with the idea that they needed some time away from the hectic lives they led, and it was an excellent way to keep in touch. Really it had been a stroke of genius one evening and ever since had been going strong. Hermione enjoyed it, even if it meant she had to bit of shopping now and again. 

The members were; Hermione, Ginny (who knew how but refused to knit, but she chilled with them anyway, and rolled yarn for the knitters, she was a pro roller), Angelina. Molly, Fleur (who also didn't know how to knit, but they continuously tried to teach), Minerva and Luna. It was an unusual group, but everyone was happy with the arrangement. Plus, it gave them all a chance to have a chat, usually gossiping though none of them would admit it readily. That evening the topic was going to definitely be on Minerva and the romance budding between her and Abeforth. The Headmistress was tight-lipped. That said, with enough wine, in her, or her flask of Firewhisky, they were able to pry some of the details from her. The two of them had a date on Sunday. The group was dying to hear about it, something told Hermione that Abeforth might be very good with his... wand, at least that was the impression Minerva had eluded to. 

Hermione chuckled to herself as she picked out some cheese for the snack platter. Biting her lip, she stared, trying to decide on a block of cheese. A finger reached out and pointed at a French Cheddar, with a label she couldn't read. The voice that spoke the title of the cheese sounded like melted chocolate and was also unmistakable. 

"... it's quite good." He enunciated the words pleasantly, taping the wrapper once with a long digit.

_ When the fuck does he ever sound pleasant? _

Hermione jerked her head, looking up into the face of Severus Snape. 

His lips parted in surprise, going from a small smile, one that could almost be described as playful, to a look of shock. 

"Oh." He had obviously not noticed who he was talking to, his eyes flew up to her hair that was tied up in a loose knot that did hide her easily spotted curls she supposed. 

Had he been trying to hit on her? Well, not her of course, but whoever he thought she was? At that thought, she felt a bit angry for some reason. 

"Oh, indeed." Trying to drive that strange feeling away, she grabbed the cheese just next to the one he had pointed out. 

Snape's eyes narrowed at her petty move. "Granger, do you make it a point to find yourself in the same places that I frequent?" 

She snorted at him, fully turning then to glare at him. "Of course, it is my life's mission to do just that. I have nothing better in the world to do with my time but find ways to inconvenience you." Turning to leave, she heard his snort of derision behind her back and couldn't stop herself. "We all get it you know, you like to be grumpy and piss on everyone's good times, just get over yourself, maybe you'd have more fucking fun." The moment the words were out of her mouth, she felt a bit bad to have said them, but it lasted a mere second before Snape stepped close to her. 

Towering over her, he murmured in a low and dangerous voice; tone clipped, the words chipping away at her. "You. Do. Not. Know me." Pinning her with a stare that could frighten nearly anyone. Then he stepped back and stalked away. 

Anger fueled her all the way to the checkout queue. Why did Snape hate her so? Seeing him made her feel like she was that little girl again, raising her hand and never being called on because he was too rude to get off his high horse and just realise that she was smart. Fuck him. With her bags in hand, she headed toward the apparation spot she tended to frequent after shopping. It hadn't helped that obviously he had meant to pick her up and the moment he saw it was her he changed his view. What was wrong with her, anyway? 

…

What kind of shit luck had that been? Severus paid for his groceries with likely a bit too much derision directed at the man running the till. Heading out into the drizzle that had begun when he was inside. Summer was officially over, London's dark grey skies were showing that. That he could take solace in, it was natural and ordinary for his life. Bruised skies were a sight of familiarity. Severus had grown up in the dreary Northern factory sector, not only was it rainy and cold, it had been filled with empty people. Then there was the brilliant, deep greens and mosses of the Highlands, they too were tainted by memories of his time as a spy and Deatheater. So here in London, the weather might still be shite, but there were vibrant people and things, he had relationships, but was still blissfully alone amoungst all of it. That was something to be grateful for. There was just the occasion when he ran into people that he did not desire to see. Miss Granger was one of them, that had been unexpected, and he'd been an arse. Severus knew that, but a rare occurrence had taken place, in his becoming flustered. Not knowing who she was initially, he had been trying to hit on her… From behind, well he had to acknowledge the women had one hell of an arse, round and perfectly perky. The black skirt, showing off her legs still gorgeous covered in dark tights. Her hair had been up and that neck… no. It was Granger. For god's sake. Then when she turned, Severus had been caught out, and his safety mechanism had kicked in. 

Shaking off the experience and taking a deep, calming breath, Severus apparated back to his flat. Putting the shopping away as he always did, he fed his owl Lenard. The bird nipped at his fingers playfully as Severus stroked the birds head lightly. Lenard had been a gift from the Order as a whole after he being let out of St Mungos. Perhaps a bit of an apology had been their intention. Severus, at the time, had wanted to refuse the gesture, aspiring to be cold and distant, hateful. Lenard though stole Severus's heart, and with that, the heartfelt words the Order members had written in various letters of apology were better taken. It was in those weeks following his recoup that Severus realised he had a second chance at life and it would just be wasteful to disregard that. They weren't bad people, he had been good at his job as a spy, he really hadn't room to blame them for believing a part that he had been doing his best to make believable. Though Snape still refused to meet Minerva in her office, he did not want to see or talk to Albus. It was possible he would never again be able to face the man. 

Lenard cawed softly, and Severus removed his hand, realising he had been off in his thoughts. Slipping into the bedroom, Severus pulled on a more casual muggle outfit of dark jeans and a black jumper. Checking his reflection in the mirror, he used his wand to trim his hair, it had needed it. Still, just above his shoulders. Less lank than before, it suited him, or at least he hoped, especially with the grey and… white that was beginning to show in it. Sometimes he didn't recognise himself. It had been years since the war, and yet he still looked in the mirror and expected to see that sallow, exhausted man. He had been that way for a long time. A well-fed, well-rested and generally content face was not one that he often thought of when the vision of himself came to mind. Could he even be described as handsome, just maybe? A scoff was made to that, clearing his throat embarrassed for the comment, even there alone. Grabbing his laptop bag from the desk in his bedroom Severus donned a coat and went back out into the rain, walking the short distance to the coffee shop/pub that he loved just down the road from his flat. 

As he entered Severus's thoughts were still on that strange meeting with Granger and reminiscing, his favourite bartender Lilly pulled him out of his reverie. "Severus, you look far away? Long day?" 

He scowled, though not without a bit of humour behind his eyes. 

Lilly had long waving honey blonde hair and hazel eyes, she was in her mid-thirties and an intelligent conversationalist. Severus had talked with her there long before he knew her name, but since, it had been something that brought him comfort. She was nothing like Lily Evans-Potter, but it was a familiarity that Severus enjoyed, he had never mentioned this to Lilly. 

She had begun pouring his pint without his bidding, she knew exactly what he liked here. 

"It was average. Ran into someone unexpected… had me thinking about my old  _ career _ ." He had briefly mentioned his teaching at some point. That was another thing about Lilly, she didn't pry him for details. 

"Chemistry? Yeah?" 

"Mhmm," Severus mumbled in response, pulling out his laptop and taking up his regular spot at the end of the bar. He published loads of potions article. Some under his name or a pseudonym, but in the last year or so, he had been working on a novel. Nothing too intense, just a simple mystery story, but it was his baby. Despite his being on draft 15 or some other Severus just didn't think that it was good enough. Some of his favourite muggle books were Agatha Christie, and he had always had a dream of writing his own mysteries, he was just too picky. Or that was what Minerva told him, he had allowed her to read the last draft, or well she pried it out of his hands more like. She had given him no useful pointers, instead said that it was perfect.  _ What in Merlin's name was he supposed to do with that? _ It needed work. So much work. 

The message notification on the site drew him in before he could even open up his word document. He just barely kept himself from smirking outright. 

BookGirl1984:  _ So what are your plans for the evening then? Anything interesting?  _

SP60:  _ Nothing extraordinary, finishing some work, then perhaps a read. Yourself?  _

After he sent it, Severus realised it sounded a bit droll, so he added:  _ I lead the most exciting life imaginable as you can see. _

The self-deprecating comment lightened the message and hopefully made him look less, well dull. Settling into his writing and taking a sip of his pint Severus couldn't help but think that he wanted to ask BookGirl out, but not just yet. He needed to see how this went. He was nothing if not a thorough investigator, and patient, yes he could be patient. 

…

"You look knackered, it's only 6!" Ginny had hands on her hips, leaning against Hermione's counter when Hermione entered her house. Ginny was keyed into the wards. Something that was both good and on occasion, annoying. 

"Eh, had a run-in with Snape at the supermarket." Hermione began dragging out the items she had purchased before looking up at her redheaded friend. 

"Details. Please." 

Shrugging Hermione added a spell to chill the wine and pulled glasses from the cabinet over Ginny's head. "He was a git, it was average." 

Still, Ginny looked at her, waiting. 

Hermione bit her bottom lip. "I think he had been trying to hit on me, till he realised that it was  _ me _ ." 

" _ WHAAATTT _ ?" Ginny made an exaggerated gesture.

"Mhmm, it was weird." Her bottom lip had been replaced with the very tip of Hermione's fingernail. A nervous gesture that she had never been able to shake, her mother did it too. 

The other girl went silent when Hermione looked up, it was as if Ginny was thinking deeply about something. Before Hermione could ask there was an alert at the floo and the others were arriving. Molly, Angelina and Fleur were first, followed by Minerva, then a while later Luna stepped out as well. They were not exactly the group that could be expected to all get along so well, that was a general idea as they were all so vastly different. For some reason, it just worked though. Ever since the plan had been thrown around at some get-together or other, it was quickly created and even if they had gone in with the thought that it might not work out, it did. Something that most of the women in the group looked forward to, including Hermione. She liked the ease that she had, and it was an excuse to drink wine and gossip, that was reason enough to do it. Despite that, there was the fact that she didn't have a lot of human connection in her day to day life. Her job gave her some, but even that was usually stilted. Hermione liked her colleagues, but they were a bit droll even for her own rather boring standards. She liked routine, but it was nice to throw another person into the mix every once in a while. 

Hermione was knitting off the last of the hat she had been working on when Ginny piped up with a new conversation, and Hermione felt her heart pound. 

"Hermione's been talking to someone online." 

The glare that Hermione shot at her friend must have said something because Ginny looked pale before a smirk formed over her lips. 

"Oh," Molly raised an eyebrow, not taking her eyes off the stitch she was using her wand to direct. 

Minerva eyed her past student over her glasses, needles clicking in front of her. "Let's hear it then." 

"It's nothing," Hermione became incredibly interested in the stitch she was trying to have sit right in her lap, "he messaged me and… well, we got talking." 

"Are you going to meet him?" Asked Angelina, tossing dark hair over her shoulder. 

"Erm… not yet." Hermione furrowed her brow, she wasn't sure that she was ready to be talking about this just yet.  _ Fucking Ginny and her mouth.  _

Fleur's blue eyes lifted, "oui? Why are you waiting?" 

"Well… I mean, I want to… make certain he isn't some kind of," she floundered a bit, "weirdo."

At that the group snorted altogether, Luna was the only one that looked thoughtful, "I think that's clever of you Mione. It might not be time yet, the two of you need to be ready, or it won't work." 

Again the group as a whole made a nearly palpable blink at one another. Luna was prone to saying such things, so the tension quickly cleared, and it seemed Molly noticed Hermione was a bit uncomfortable, so she changed the subject, taking a sip of her wine, "wasn't the wedding lovely?" 

That created a perfect diversion. The crowd pounced on the opportunity to talk about the various details of the event and their thoughts on it. Hermione slumped back into the sofa, taking a deep breath and letting it out very slowly. The rest of the evening passed relatively well. Molly was the last to exit, she gave Hermione a loving squeeze and followed the others out. 

Taking her time readying for bed, Hermione finally propped herself up on pillows and opened her laptop. 

New notification. 

SP60:  _ So, tell me. Why are you on this bloody site anyway?  _

SP60:  _ Sorry, was that too personal? I meant no offence.  _

Hermione smiled ruefully, that was good right? He didn't want to offend her. She settled her fingers on the keyboard and began to type out her reply. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Oh, I am not offended, Well, really, my friend got me to do it… why does that sound like some stupid bit from a film? I mean it's true, but it does sound like something pathetic from a romcom right? _

There were a few minutes that she read before a beep sounded. 

SP60:  _ Ah. Yes, I believe that is a trope. Don't fret I'll pretend to believe you, (that was meant to be sardonic, it doesn't work on here does it? Apologies). It seems friends are always so worried about each other, aren't they? Nosey buggers.  _

BookGirl1984:  _ HA. I think that they mean well, or I try to tell that to myself. I suppose that's what I get for being the single friend.  _

BookGirl1984:  _ That sounded utterly pathetic. It isn't that I'm pining after anything at all, for some reason they just think it's necessary for some reason or other.  _

The second message had been hastily typed and made her seem perhaps even more desperate. Hermione blew out a breath and ran a hand through her hair, it got stuck in the curls… figures.  _ Merlin. That was probably going to be the end of SP60.  _ He didn't seem the type to want desperate, nor did he show that he was wanting some kind of ' _ just sex _ ' fling. Groaning Hermione burrowed deeper into her covers, but awhile later there was a ding. 

SP60:  _ I completely understand, as often I find myself in a similar situation. Would it be untoward for me to ask your age? Please feel free to say no, I understand that is a customarily personal question.  _

Hermione gaped at the screen, he hadn't run off, and he'd continued the conversation, but now she had utterly no idea of what to tell him. She wasn't old by any standard, but she had no idea how old he was either.  _ Fuck. What was she to do? _

Groaning Hermione realised this was a question that hse would have to be posed to Ginny, much to her own chagrin. That damn little witch was good at manoeuvring these sorts of things. Shutting the laptop, she would wait until the next day to ask... until then the anxiety and excitement would have her sleeping patterns all sorts of off. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are gettin to some good stuff... hehe!   
XOXOXO!!!

Hermione tried to bring it up casually in their lunchtime conversation, but Ginny would not hear of it. "You are enjoying this. You like him!" 

"I don't know him." Grumbled Hermione in response, picking at the perfectly greasy, battered fish in her basket. On Wednesdays, as it was mid-week, the two always (when Ginny wasn't gone for a match) treated themselves to the chippie near the Ministry for lunch. 

"Well just because you've never seen him doesn't mean you know nothing about him, you've been talking back and forth for almost two weeks now." 

"Yes." Hermione said around a mouthful of mushy peas, "that's true, but he could be lying about all of it. God, he could be some sort of psychopath for all I know. Biding his time, waiting for enough information to find me and pounce." 

It was said with an air of drama and hopelessness that had Ginny rolling and then narrowing her eyes. In a tone that practically matched her mother, "I suppose he could be lying, yes.  _ But _ that would be a lot of stories,  _ and _ what if he isn't?" She raised a red eyebrow, "now, here's what you do, tell him that you are younger than 35 and older than 25. There's a range, and it seems… mysterious." the brow dropped and then waggled a bit. "And let's be honest shall we, if anyone tried to  _ pounce _ you, they wouldn't survive long. I've seen those wicked hexes."

Hermione nodded. It was true. And Ginny's idea wasn't the worst, it might even be flirtatious right? Who knew really, Hermione wasn't exactly stellar at any of this. It also means that she would find out about him as well… now that was promising. For some reason she thought he was older than her, he just seemed like it, but how much? Hermione shuddered at images of decrepit old wizards from her department, came into her mind. SP60 worked in potions, but he hadn't said where there were so many options...  _ Was this even a good idea, after all? _ Ginny was right, though, it was worth a shot at the very least. 

…

All-day long, Severus had regretted having asked BookGirl that question. She hadn't responded, but initially, he chalked that up to sleep when there was still no response midday he began to worry. What if he had upset her? She might think he was some weirdo, surely there was bound to be plenty of those wallowing about dating sites, right? Then there was the fear that she would tell him she was 80… or worse… 19 or something. Mad, that's what he was utterly mad. Severus's mood flitted from hope to worry all day, wishing to delete his account, pretend that none of it had happened, or get onto it right that second and look. He kept himself from doing any of it, though just barely. Instead, waiting until he had made it home. Severus would go about his usual routine and then check the messages, as he hadn't since lunchtime. 

The leftover routine from his days as a double agent left Severus with a caffeine addiction, yes, but also a mostly an intolerance to it, he could drink a cup of coffee at 7 in the evening and still sleep relatively well (which meant that the caffeine he thought woke him was probably all just mental, oh well). It was another side effect of his earlier life, Severus used to get to sleep where he could and whenever he was able, as some of his time was plagued by nightmares, even still the practice had stuck also. That said, he had no reason to be up so late at night now and did not make a habit of having  _ too  _ much stimulant that late in the day. So being a good boy, he settled for a milky tea when he returned from work. The kettle was charmed to put itself on when Severus entered the wards, as he then went about changing or putting away his things depending on the day and what he had going. When Severus returned to the kitchen, he would place the tea sachet in and pour his own milk, there was something quaint and comforting about making one's own cup of tea. Inhaling the strong scent, going to his favourite reading chair and picked up the novel he had started the night before. Agatha Christie yet again, though Miss Marple this time instead of Poirot, that was unusual for him, but still. A few words in and he shook his head… a bit more, glancing around… a page turn, Severus cracked his neck. 

"Oh, sod it," he muttered, getting to his feet and dropping the paperback on the cushion. He went in search of his laptop. 

The screen took far too long to come up, or more than he would've liked at least leading to drumming his fingers on the wool of his trousers; which made him perhaps even more anxious than before. Finally, on the page, Severus sucked in a breath at the sight of a notification, took a large pull of tea, not looking as he did and clicked. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Hmmm. Somewhere between 25 and 35, does that quell your curiosity at all? … also, fair is far ;) _

Snape stared at it. Interesting, so she was a fair bit younger, that wasn't inherently bad, but it also meant she might not realise how much older he was. He was not exactly ashamed of his age, there really wasn't any reason to be, time came for everyone eventually, even wizards. It was that he didn't want to scare her off right away. They were actually talking, he enjoyed talking to her, even this way. That was a compliment from him, more than that actually. Finally, decided and setting his fingers to the keys. 

SP60:  _ I am confident that little scale is some sort of ploy to tempt me into further question, I will resist, though, I wish to inquire further. I, myself am higher than 45, but lower than 50, do with that as you wish.  _

As Severus picked up the discarded novel thinking perhaps that could be the end of it, she might not have any interest in someone older than her, and it would all be done. That made him a tad gloomy, though it was ridiculous as he had not actually met the witch, but still. 

Severus had barely finished a page as another ting sounded. Again he haphazardly tossed the paperback on the arm of the chair and reached for the computer.

BookGirl1984:  _ I am not surprised in the least about that revelation. There is no way a man closer to my age would write half as eloquently. That said, I am interested why has no clever witch snatched you up yet? _

Severus snorted as he replied. 

SP60:  _ Well I won't lie and say that I am the most attractive man to exist, nothing horrible, at least that I am aware of, but there is also no dashing prince charming here either. I suppose I have been busy… for most of my life really, and often I exclude myself in favour of the other. Or the shorter answer would be that I haven't found anyone I tolerate speaking with for extended amounts of time… till now.  _

Before he could think, or add, or even delete the whole bloody message Severus had sent it. For once, he wanted to be very candid with someone regarding his feelings. It felt all too refreshing and a bit daring when the physical reactions of the other person were not so easily accessed. Another message sounded. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Somehow, I feel that you are being modest, or at the very least, you do not know your own beauty. Even if that is not the case, I have found that an attractive mind is of far more interest to me than anything else. As to the other, I count myself as lucky that my conversation seems to have been stimulating enough to make you think twice. That said, don't wizards have needs? _

He raised an eyebrow at that, then another message popped up. 

BookGirl1984:  _ I apologise if that was lewd of me. It was merely interest, we are both adults, and in the moment, I thought it a question that deemed asking. If it was out of line, we shall forget that I ever said it.  _

Severus's raven brow had not descended; instead, they both rose as a pair, and then came down to show in a smirk that creased his forehead. Oh, this witch, if she was looking for a bit of a tease, that he could certainly do. 

…

Her gut felt as if it was lined with rocks,  _ why in the bloody hell had she thought that was a question that she should ask this man who really she did not know? _ Hermione had been shocked and interested in his honesty, and it intrigued her, she was so tired of playing games in dating. Despite her wanting to look away, it was like a motor crash, she just stared at the screen, willing him to not be offended. 

_ He was a man, right? Didn't they like a little tease?  _ She did. It had been so long since she had sex and even longer since there was any fun in it. The last had been a relationship that had went far past its expiration date, and the sex had been utterly mediocre. Not that she was planning on having sex with SP60… well not at this point, but something in her wanted to know his style a bit. What he was into. Partially to gage is he was a pervy serial killer, but also to see if they were well matched in that way. Her relationships had always seemed to be only pleasant in the bedroom, it usually wasn't horrible perse, but it also was never great. 

There was this fine line that none of her partners had been able to walk. Hermione had a job where she was in charge, she was influential and had a lot of her plate. That was exactly as she liked it. Even spending most of her younger years being referred to as bossy in a negative way she now was able to see it as a character trait she loved about herself, and now she was praised for it. Embodied and embraced it. That said, at home in her own space, there was nothing she wanted more than to just be taken care of, she wanted someone to listen to her, not because they had to but because they wanted to. She wanted to be held and cuddled, perhaps on occasion when she felt a little too stressed, even babied a bit. In the bedroom she wanted someone to take a bit of command, not dominate her necessarily, that wasn't really her style not in an intense sense. But Hermione wanted a man that would take charge in the bedroom, leave her satisfied, along with himself but still respect her after the fact. So far that had not happened, if she brought it up, she was looked at as odd and brushed off as a passing fantasy, or they took it too far toward domination, and she felt uncomfortable and suggested they go back to the bland shagging of before. Utterly maddening the lot of it. A notification broke her from her reverie. 

SP60:  _ Not at all. Everyone has needs… I have yet to satisfy those needs in the bedroom and the living space if you comprehend my meaning. So BookGirl, I am curious to know what your needs are? Feel free to disregard, but I felt asking would be poignant as I hope this correspondence will eventually lead to us meeting in person. Make note that were we to meet, I expect nothing, but hope… that is a different thing indeed.  _

That had been precisely the response that Hermione had been yearning for. It made her smirk at the screen as she typed. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Well your response was comforting, I did not want to come off as ridiculous, though I shouldn't have expected you to be upset as thus far you have been perfectly rational in all of our conversations. As to your question, I have many needs, one of which is to simply sit and read with someone in silence, it is a feat I have never achieved. Another is to have a conversation that isn't merely about say Quidditch teams, perhaps something a bit deeper and more profound (no offence if you are a Quidditch fan, I don't hate it by any means).  _

_ As for what I actually believe you were referring to, well, I suppose I need someone that is going to take charge in the bedroom. Not in a demeaning way, mind you. It's just that I have an intensive job and lead a life where I am very much in control, and sometimes in a safe environment, I would like to let someone else take the lead a bit. I don't want to be boss for a while. _

_ Thus far, it has never ended well or been satisfying at all.  _

_ I have to say that your comment of meeting has made me exceedingly happy. I would as well, when the time is right. So perhaps getting to know each other a bit would be helpful. Let's start with the basics, shall we (feel free to be as vague as you wish)?  _

  1. _Where were you born?_
  2. _Do you have siblings? _
  3. _Favourite colour? _
  4. _Favourite school subject?_
  5. _Pets?_

Hermione hit the send button still with a smile on her face, she had gotten to know him slightly, but she wanted the nitty-gritty. At least then she could have an idea in her mind of the man and not just this shadow that she made for herself of him. Hermione Granger loved to be prepared, and that was the goal. So far, this man had passed every test and checked many boxes, but what if he wasn't who he said? What if, what if? That's what life was, and she was going to show life who's leading this go around. Hopping up, Hermione grabbed a glass of water and dawdled a bit brushing her teeth before climbing under the covers and looking for a response. 

SP60:  _ I appreciate the comment of my rationality, it is something that I try to make sure achieve in most situations. My brain is quite logical, on occasion I know it can actually be detrimental to me, as I have gotten older, I have taken the time to use my emotions a bit more, but never to a detriment, that I can control at least.  _

_ I too long for something like that. Though I have never been able to put it into words as you have, once I read them I realised that was precisely what I have been searching for, for a long while now. An ease that comes with understanding another individual, seeing them, and them seeing you without all the extra games and fanfare. Something I detest is drama, a quiet existence, in my opinion, is the best when it comes to romantic attachments. I am also interested to know a bit more of why you feel this way concerning your sex life (candid of me I know, but sometimes it is necessary) who have you dated that failed in this regard? Why was, is it hard for someone to achieve what you wish? Feel free as usual to not answer should you feel that I am being out of sorts, but I am curious.  _

_ And to the interview questions, you have posed.  _

  1. _Amidst the midlands, in a small factory village (one of the hundreds, I know). _
  2. _Only child. _
  3. _Black. _
  4. _Potions. _
  5. _An owl, his name is Lenard, he is a spiteful and surly beast, but I have come to adore him. _

A _ s I believe you said before, fair is fair.  _

Hermione was ready to type out a response but checked the time on her little screen. They had been going back and forth for a while, it was half 9. One last message and she would go to bed. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Logicality is both a blessing and burden I have found. Usually, I am the only rational voice in the room and sometimes that gets associated with dull, I prefer to think of it as sane, but I digress. I believe I know what you mean when it comes to being unable to express exactly what it is that you want and are missing, I too have a hard time achieving that, it took a bit of thought to even pin down those small things for myself.  _

_ I will not lie and pretend to have been in many sexual relationships, there has been a decent amount, most in the confines of dating. It seems that usually my request is taken one of two ways.  _

  1. _a) they think that I wish to be dominated somehow (which is correct in a way), and then I find that I am being degraded in some way or my voice is removed. That is, in fact, not the case, I do enjoy that, but I think the bottom line is anyone I have been with doesn't know how to do this properly (I am blushing). It is more about surrender, not having to know everything all the time. Not having to be the one that calls the shots. _
  2. _b) They simply did not understand, know, or take the time to know how I like to be pleasured, it is most irritating when you lay something out so plainly and even then it cannot be taken to heart and executed properly. I am sorry, but I do not think that the basic pleasures of a female body are all that difficult to carry out. Not with the proper thought, research and... wait, I figured it out, effort. That's the one! None have of them have put in enough trouble to try (do I sound bitter?)._

_ I am interested in a few of these answers… will think on them, then give a full report.  _

  1. _A suburb in East London. _
  2. _I too am an only child. _
  3. _I think I would have to say a deep forest green. (Black really?)_
  4. _Ancient Runes. (I do though have a fondness for potions as well.) _
  5. _I do not currently have any pets. I had a cat for a very long time and miss him dearly I cannot bring myself to getting another animal just yet. _

As not to tempt herself, Hermione switched off the laptop and placed it on her desk, before having a wee one last time and getting into bed. SP60 was interesting, that much couldn't be disputed, she needed to start thinking of ways to get to see him… without compromising too much all at once.  _ Hmmm... _


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grad school may be the death of me, so as I have said a billion times, thank god for fanfiction! haha.   
XOXO!

Coffee. The ambrosial like scent permeated Severus's flat, always at an hour when he would much rather be still under the covers. A soft sigh of steam emitted itself from his fancy espresso machine. It was indeed the best purchase he had ever made, and the price tag was worth every pound he had spent when Severus thought about how much was saved not going out for coffee as he used to. As the dark liquid touched his lips, Severus closed his eyes and enjoyed the flavour, thankful that coffee was a blessed enjoyment rather than a necessity. He had stayed up quite late the night before, trying his best to think through what he wanted to say to BookGirl. Coming off as some creepy bloke was not what he wanted at all, but he nevertheless wanted to show interest and oh was he interested… very. 

The response had been one that he thought on long before sending it, finally deciding that being candid was probably the best thing to do in this scenario. 

SP60:  _ Though I have not felt the same way personally, I do think I understand your meaning. You lead a life that is by your dictation and in that you are the one making the plan, keeping up with them, and executing them, In the bedroom you wish to allow yourself to be freed a bit, to enjoy that time and not have to worry about being the boss, or depended upon. It makes much of sense, honestly. It seems an easy enough task for a romantic partner to adhere to, at least from my vantage point. That said I haven't the slightest idea what idiots you have been sleeping with that seem to have missed this very easy to understand idea. I am genuinely sorry for them as they must be the most thick-witted sort of wankers imaginable.  _

_ At the risk of sounding trite sex is an art form like anything else. Please, hear me out I understand that is an atrociously sickening beginning. Within a partnership or outside of one, there is something to understanding the person you are intimate with. When you are at that moment, there in that space made together, sex should be like oxygen. It should be everything just then. Overriding all other sense, inside of you until there is nothing but desire and release. There in the blinding light and pulsing regions deep inside, it signifies not only immense, earth-shattering pleasure, but trust and gifts. Gifts are given from one partner to another in the form of pleasure, yes, but it should go deeper. A willing and eager participant should want to do everything in their power for the companion as their satisfaction is just as important as their own.  _

Severus cleared his throat when he finished writing that. Was if safe to send such a thing? Did he sound like an idiot? It was all true, but what if she found him... excentric? Bizarre? Instead of dwelling, he kept writing about the answers in her last message. 

_ Ancient Runes, yes? Interesting, it was not one of my preferred, but I do think it enjoyable as I have aged. I read a rather good book on it not too long ago actually, dealing with symbols of the Middle East, I believe. Black, indeed. I find it to be a colour that never lets me down in whatever purpose I need it so serve, it is just so. I am very sorry to hear about your feline, I am sure they are dearly missed. If you permit me, I have some questions of my own.  _

  1. _Hogwarts house (assuming that you attended Hogwarts)? If that is not the case, I will settle for your house or group in any other school you may have attended. _
  2. _Most exceptional place you have travelled?_
  3. _Quidditch, yes or no?_
  4. _A hobby you enjoy besides reading?_
  5. _Favourite biscuit and why? (Careful, this is very, very important.) _

His questions hadn't exactly been any great analysis, but Severus decided the conversation they were in could use at least a bit of something lighthearted to muddle through the tension if just slightly. Plus, Severus felt an ever-growing need to truly get to know this person. Something was just utterly intriguing about the way she spoke, the voice that came across to him in her written words. He yearned to hear it. It was early still, and Snape assumed that he would not hear a response for a while, thus deciding to go about his day. His daily tasks, something of a therapeutic enjoyment that he revelled in at all costs. Slipping into a charcoal jumper and a pair of trousers, as well as boots. They were spelled for comfort; he was not about to go around in a pair of trainers for god's sake. A deep colour here or there he could do, those bright hideous running shoes that were in fashion he would not.

He had formed a habit of going to tea with Minerva on Saturday mornings, but things had been hectic at the school, so she wasn't able to make it. He would not go there. So that left him to his own devices. Taking his pad and pen, and apparating to a secluded area of a park that he frequented and began to take a turn around the rolling lawns. The sun was well hidden behind thick grey clouds, but it didn't look as though they would be pissing down anytime soon. Thankfully. Not that Snape minded, the rain was in his blood whether he liked it or not. Hence he had made peace with it long ago. 

After the bit of exercise and jotting a few prose down, Severus returned to his flat and made breakfast. Simple muesli with fruit and another coffee, that done he opened his laptop while he ate, his stomach doing a little undignified flip when he saw that there was a new notification. Usually, he ate breakfast while at his table reading an article or other. The woman was unconsciously making her way into his carefully constructed routine now, it was unclear whether Severus liked this or not. 

BookGirl1984:  _ I would love to hear the name of this book, as I am always looking for new tomes on the subject. Black isn't really all that bad a colour, as I have gotten older it has been less and less likely to catch me in something that isn't neutral-toned, as you said, they do not often let you down, do they?  _

  1. _I did attend Hogwarts yes, I was a Gryffindor. _
  2. _Probably Sorrento, Italy. I loved the hotels on the jutting cliffs, it was not the most educating of holidays but was one of the more relaxing, and it was the first to pop in my mind. Not everything is about learning, I suppose. (I have many friends that would kill to hear me say that little confession)._
  3. _Yes. Though mostly on account of the people that I socialise with. All of them are very fond of Quidditch, and my best friend is a professional player._
  4. _I love to knit. I know it makes me sound like a granny, but for some reason it soothes my mind, at least knitting the muggle way does. I have never gotten the hang of magical knitting, seems like such a waste of time, why bother when you could just buy it?_
  5. _I do like a Jammie Dodger, I have to say, but I think that stems from childhood nostalgia. Now, the one my cabinet is never lacking is the average chocolate digestive and hobnobs as well. _

_ I do hope you realise that any questions you pose me, must be answered in kind. ;) Looking forward to that… _

_ And, as for the other more intimate bits of our conversation. I cannot lie and say that you don't have a way with words. My god, man! How am I supposed to think straight when you talk of passion in such away. Perhaps it is lewd of me, but my knickers were wet from reading your words... _

Severus made an amused chuckle at that comment, the laugh something decidedly filthy. Oh, but he wished to see what could be done to her in person. With his own voice, whispering those things to her. There was something to say about his imagination, as he conjured a burry idea of her in his mind. Bookgirl made him smile, and Severus didn't even know what she really sounded like. They had to find a way to meet that didn't cause so much unneeded stress of 'meeting' he ached to think of something. 

The Hogwarts question had been a bit of a ploy, and part of him hoped the answer would be that she hadn't gone to Hogwarts at all. Evident by her age, he had absolutely taught her at some point. That worried him. He had been a miserable teacher, it didn't sit right with Severus that he was talking to a student or at least it hadn't until it was confirmed that he was. This forced him to think of it logically. If he really ever wanted to date again he was going to have to come to terms with the fact that really he had taught most of the witches in his age range and younger. That is if they grew up in the U.K. Since he rarely travelled and wasn't really interested in a long-distance relationship, he was either stuck with that thought or would have to continue alone. He wasn't necessarily averse to the being alone option, often fancying it, but still, there was a reason he was considering this, a part of Snape wanted companionship. Denying it anymore was futile. At the very least she had not been in his house. Severus had little direct contact with the other houses, except for the select few students who caused havoc, so that made for something. Gryffindor though… hmmm, he supposed that could be dealt with. It wasn't as if he had any real animosity toward the house, it had mostly been for show. 

Tugging the keyboard closer, his long pale fingers danced over the keys. 

SP60:  _ I wish everyone were as accepting of the colour black and my proclivity toward it as you have been. I think that it is a smart colour and suitable for many an occasion, I have to say. _

_ I believe you have passed the biscuit test, as I appreciate both of those biscuits greatly. If you had gone with a plain digestive, I am sorry, but that would have been the end of our conversation. I have been to Italy once. A portrait or two has let slip that my family hails from there. Though without any real evidence as such, that I can find. Sorrento is not a place that I have been, but after a quick Google search, I think I see what you mean about the cliffs. That  _

_ Holiday, even if it is just self-reflection, can be educating in many ways, not everything is books even as I loathe to say such a thing. There is more that can be learned of life than just that, though books on a relaxing holiday are something of another love. Speaking on that, do you have a favourite fictional genre?  _

_ Knitting is not something I am versed in, though I knew someone for a long while that adored the idea of it.  _

_ Alright, alright. I will state in the here, and now, if you continue to question me, you will find that I am, in fact, a very droll individual. A creature of habit and that is that.  _

  1. _Slytherin. Spare your comments, I swear that the world does not begin and end with Hogwarts sorting, neither does an individual I must add. _
  2. _I do not often travel, though I was pleased with Amsterdam. It felt as if I was in another time and place all at once. _
  3. _I do enjoy spectating, now that I have the ability and time. _
  4. _This mayhaps be not a vast stretch from reading, but I find pleasure in writing. _
  5. _I am fond of both your answers as stated, J.D. though are not my forte. I have to say that a Custard Cream is something of a treat and one that I enjoy more often now. _

_ Interested to hear your response.  _

_ PS I cannot say that I am at all uninterested in the sodden knickers you spoke of. If that makes me lewd as well, then I will gladly accept the descriptor.  _

There had almost been the urge to sign off with his name. Wouldn't that have been the shock of the century. Now with the knowledge that she was a former student, Severus really needed to get her interested before meeting her, or it would all go to hell when she found out. It still might. 

… 

It had been nearly 24 hours without any response, they had gone back and forth after the questions all of Monday, but after the one Snape sent Tuesday morning, there had been nothing. Severus was feeling extremely worried about all of it. What had he done? What had he said? Now that he was home from work scouring the message for anything that could have been taken the wrong way. There was the continued banter of her knickers. A few well-timed words of a more sexual nature on both their parts, but she seemed to be enjoying that as well. To his eyes, there wasn't much that could've been taken badly. Though there was the real possibility that she had become bored with him. Damn it, he should have amped it up when he had the chance. 

Slumping against the back of his chair, the floo chimed the arrival of a guest. For the first in a long while, Severus wasn't distraught that someone would be in his space. Instead, happy for the distraction that it might win him. It was Minerva. As she brushed off her tartan robes, Severus had already stood and begun to make tea for the two of them. Motioning his wand to a cabinet a tin that was covered in grey cats (it was specific to Minerva's detestably bland Scottish biscuits of choice) came flying out and settled itself on the coffee table, the top removed to find a painstakingly perfect stack of shortbread biscuits. 

Minerva made a noise of approval, "how are you, Severus?" It was said around a bite of biscuit. 

"Well. And you?" He returned with the tea, Minerva liked hers a proper builders brew, whilst he took his generally white without, though a bit of sugar here or there didn't go amiss. 

"Well?" She made a face, her delivery a mocking interpretation of his deadpan. 

"Indeed, I cannot say there is anything at all that I dislike about life at the moment.  _ Well _ seemed to be a satisfactory response. I am not ill, I am not miserable."  _ You are waiting on a message from an anonymous suitor are you not Mr Snape? Is that not a change of pace?  _ His mind chided at him.

Making a noise of derision in her tea, Minerva looked him over. " _ Well _ , you look healthy at the least. How is the potions department?" 

"Decent, not much new goings on, but plunking about I suppose. And Hogwarts?" 

"In need of a better Potions Professor." 

Severus rolled his eyes and ignored that comment, he had no interest in teaching ever again. 

"Are you going to that Ministry event?" 

"The fancy dress one?" Severus asked, taking a biscuit for his own. He never much liked shortbread and decided that was still the case as he dropped the half that wasn't going to be eaten back down. 

"Yes."

"No, I don't think it suits my style," he smirked. 

"Shame." 

Raising a questioning, eyebrow, "Well, you could meet someone." 

_ Meddling woman.  _

"I don't do fancy dress," it was as simple as that, and she knew it as well as he did. It was strange of her to question him like this. Usually, Minerva was one of the people that defended his prickliness, as well as, respected his proclivities and his space. 

"That Victorian coat you wear is just for fun then?" She snickered into her cup of tea. 

"Very funny, when was the last time you saw me in that?" Severus hadn't donned the frock coat in some time. It really was a beast of an outfit, and hot, by god if he were to wear it now that he no longer resided in a dungeon and wasn't malnourished, certainly he would pass out within minutes. 

Ignoring his question and trying one of her own. "Well, I just thought you would have a good time. Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" 

This had Snape coughing a bit on an unswallowed gulp of tea. "No. Not at present. Why the sudden interest in my personal life?"

"I want you to be happy," Minerva said simply, not adding more. 

Severus didn't buy the sweet without reason act, it just wasn't the Headmistress that he knew. There was something brewing in that mind of hers, and it was worrisome, if he just kept quiet, she might just say it.

"I was speaking with Molly last evening during our knitting night-"

"Knitting night?" Severus raised an eyebrow, picturing the professor knitting was something else entirely. His mind popped unbidden to BookGirl, she had said that she liked to knit. 

An exasperated glare was sent his way. "It's relaxing young man. Anyway, we meet once a week at someones home, Molly just mentioned that her friend has a daughter, and I should be on the lookout for an eligible suitor." 

"Ah, yes, a suitor." Severus dropped his voice in a drawl. "I shall tell Mr Darcy straight away that he needn't fret about the Bennett girl any longer, there is a fairer maiden awaiting him." Sarcasm was running through his veins even at the very thought of meeting with another blind date set up by someone else. 

McGonagall pinched her lips at his dry retort, giving him a look, "you are too much you know that?" Then she smirked, "I suppose I can handle that sardonic tone you take on if it means you are at least bearably content." Standing then and finishing her tea, "if you decide to, I would be pleased to set you up with Miss Miller at the party." 

"Duly noted."  _ And instantly dismissed. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An early chapter, I just couldn't help myself. Thank you all for the love!   
XOXOXO!!!

Knitting club had taken over Hermione's evening Tuesday. Wednesday Hermione was so frustrated with her life that she just didn't feel like messaging SP60. Well really she did, but her mind was giving her trouble, it kept telling her that she would never find someone to spend her life with and this man was too good to be true. As she bit into her toast on Thursday morning, Hermione glanced over to the calendar hanging on the wall near her door. A significant pink marker had circled the date.  _ Ah, it was the hormones then _ . 

With a grimace she placed the toast down, suddenly it and everything else disgusted her. This is why she felt like such shite. It's almost comical how every month a period comes, and yet it's implicitly surprising every time, like a wrecking ball barreling in, and wreaking havoc on life every single time. Well, perhaps not life, but at least sanity, emotions and not to mention body image. It had felt like every one of the women in her knitting club, people she trusted most, were looking at her like an outcast. Rational Hermione knew that wasn't true, but PMSing Hermione felt like sitting in bed with her arm elbow-deep bag of crisps and crying about it. So really what was rational at this point anyway? 

It wasn't as if they had said anything offensive, no, they were actually trying to set her up with some friend of Angelina's brother or something at that stupid Ministry Halloween Party. It sounded like a nightmare in the making, with no pun intended toward the holiday itself. Hermione just couldn't stomach the idea of another failed blind date, the last few had been so bad. The women meant well at least, or that's what Ginny said before leaving that evening, and Hermione knew it was the truth. It just felt like there was something they all had that she was missing. Which made her even more enraged at herself for not just being okay single. It still felt as though she desired something that everyone else seemed to have, and it kept slipping through her fingers. 

After another long day of work, taking a long hot shower when she got home. Hermione pulled on her pyjamas and crawled under the covers of her bed. It was finally time that she responded to SP, she was ready. For some reason, even thorough this strange modicum of communication, he was able to soothe her. This man was just too good to be true, and that was precisely why Hermione could not bring herself to actually set up a meeting with him. It was as if she had allowed herself to share a little too much before it was time. What if in person he was not nearly so accepting of her? What if the didn't get along?  _ And the worst. _ What if he wasn't who he said he was? It was all just a mess, but through the haze of that disordered thought, Hermione had an idea. A brilliant idea. Typing it out, she actually grinned at the end result. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Let me start by saying that I am sorry if I have been less than talkative, I belong to a knitting group of sorts and the night escaped me, then work has remained taxing beyond belief, so I hope that my silence has not been misunderstood. If I am very candid, our conversations are some of the best and most enjoyable parts of my day.  _

_ That said, I believe that I have a proposition for you. I would like to meet you, but as we have discussed, neither of us is massively comfortable with the idea of meeting just out in the open, so I have a plan.  _

_ Please, if you feel that this is not appropriate or you simply do not wish to go or to see me, I will not be offended, please do tell me.  _

_ The Ministry is having a party on Halloween. It is fancy dress, and everyone is required to wear a mask. I know it may be, perhaps odd, but would you like to go? Then we could meet, and if things don't go our way, we will be none the wiser. This might be incredibly juvenile, but perhaps not. Do let me know.  _

_ Also, I tried the risotto recipe you sent, I butchered it… as I have a tendency to do when cooking. Perhaps if things go well… you could make it for me? Here's hoping.  _

_ Also, also, I find that the more you write to me, the more I wish to read some of your work. Would you allow it? If not, I will gladly hear more about what you think of my, as you stated, sodden knickers, and what exactly you wish to do with said garment.  _

Signed, sealed, delivered. Well, that was that. SP60 would think her mad, or he would say yes. Hermione very much hoped it was the latter, she felt rather proud of herself.

…

He was so happy to see there was a message from Bookgirl that Severus didn't even worry about waiting to open it as he had been before, fearing that he was becoming too attached. He read with little thought as he was eating supper and then read it over three more times, before sitting back against the sofa. Did he want to do this? Could it turn out well? Was he ready to actually see this woman in person? Or well, sort of. The answer was yes. There was so much Severus had wanted to say to her in person. This would be the opportunity for her to get to know him as a person, not just the unhandsome face and her old professor. As he was sure, she had been one of his students, based on the age she had offered. 

Already having told Minerva that he wasn't going had been a good thing, at least then no one would know he was going and they wouldn't blow his cover.  _ Does that mean you are going to go then? _ Sighing audibly out his nose Severus began to type. 

SP60:  _ Not a problem at all, regarding being busy, I understand entirely. Actually, as it happens, I have a friend that was just around, and she mentioned that she was at a knitting club as well, how the world turns yes? I seem to be inadvertently surrounded by knitters, perhaps I will have to give it a try at some point. Then again, maybe I am not well suited to such a task.  _

_ I have thought over your proposition as you put it, and I believe that would be advisable to move forward with. It is not juvenile at all, in fact, it was a very bright idea really. Once I have solidified my costume (how I loathe thinking on that little detail), I will give you a descriptor and then we can meet. Yes? I will say that fancy dress is not typically my 'style', I did know about the party, but I wasn't planning on attending, so there should be no one that I know to spoil our arrangement.  _

_ I shall take great joy in cooking for you should you wish me to.  _

_ Hmm, it's prose you want? That I shall have to think on, It is rare that I share those interworkings of my mind, though I may make an exception. The other, I can do with haste. I find that the knickers and what is to be done with them matter little after they are removed dripping or no. What is left bared when they are separated is another story entirely. How I wonder what that vision would look like. What I am informed of is the source of the wetness, it would take much restraint on my part not to...sample from that source. _

_ Looking forward to speaking with you in person.  _

A smug smile tugged at his lips as Severus thought over what he had just agreed to. He had a feeling that this witch whoever she was, would be worth this trouble, he could just tell from the way she conversed with him. He loved it, and he was beginning to think that he might just really like her when he met her. There was still that worry in him, but it was lessened by this idea that there was still a way to escape it should things go badly. Despite his being called one of the most intelligent wizards alive, he didn't think of a solution to meet that was as clean as she had. So, there was that she's brilliant, perhaps dangerously so. 

… 

It wasn't until SP60 had sent her his response and Hermione realised that she was indeed going to be meeting him that she came to the other realisation that she must find an outfit to wear. Sure, in theory, a fancy dress party had been just fine, exactly as she thought it should, but now, knowing that she was going to meet HIM and it was first impressions… well, it needed to be something that left a memory, didn't it? And that last bit in his message had her hot and bothered again, ruthless he was. Saying some rather filthy things then ending his message. Hermione smirked, he was lovely. 

She knew just the human to call upon for help finding an outfit. Ginny was out for an away game until Friday morning, but that was perfectly fine as Hermione had half days on Friday at the Ministry. She penned a quick owl and sent it to the Hollyhead Harpies travelling address. It was not but an hour later that she got a response that read…

_ Shut up. You aren't serious. _

_ I am so in. Diagon Alley. Friday at 1.  _

_ PS You're a babe.  _

Hermione smirked at the page, taking time to control her breathing. It was all going to be okay. This is what she wanted, it was going to work out. Or that is what she was telling herself to keep calm.

When Friday rolled around, Hermione was a nervous wreck. So, the date to go shopping with Ginny was also a decided respite from her ever-flowing and utterly uncomfortable thoughts. There was no reason at all that she should be feeling so out of sorts, but Hermione was far gone from logic on that score, at least for the moment. Ginny sensed it as she usually did. Calming Hermione by insisting they get a cappuccino before they actually go in search of her costume. That seemed to do the trick, tan foam slipped past her lips, settling in her belly soothing her. It was a familiar, and the frayed ends of her nerves revelled in blessed relief that milky foam and caffeine brought to her. 

"Now, I think…" Ginny was sitting with her legs crossed in a pair of denim and a crimson wrap top, not looking anything like a woman who had been muddy, covered in grime on a Quidditch pitch for the last week. It was astonishing, and Hermione still didn't know how her friend did it, switched on and off like that. Hermione wasn't able. Neurotic was a word that well suited the way she lived her life. Sometimes it was just habit and routine, but worry always crept in that it would become a bigger problem if she did not handle it. 

"... you should pick something sexy, but refined as well." 

Hermione nodded, "I agree." Then raised an eyebrow, signalling for Ginny to continue as Hermione hadn't a clue what she was getting at.

"Come on, I know a place near Gringotts that will have what we need, then a muggle craft shop will have glitter."

Hermione looked up, worried, "Glitter?!" Hermione's brain went instantly to all the surfaces and crevices she might find glitter if she were in possession of such a thing. 

Ginny grinned wolfishly, "Don't worry, I was just checking to see you were still with me, now come on!" 

…

When Severus had decided on what he was going to wear, Severus sent her a quick message that he thought was amusing. 

SP60:  _ Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, _

_ By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore, _

_ "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, _

_ Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore— _

_ Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!" _

_ Quoth the Raven "Nevermore."  _

_ See you this evening.  _

Severus had thought it was clever, but as he looked at himself in the mirror, he wasn't so sure anymore. What if she didn't understand? What if he had been too presumptuous to say that he would see her that evening? Merlin. He had also made the split-second decision to chop all his bloody hair off. Well, not all of it. A short average cut, nothing strange, longer on the top, short on the sides, like a proper muggle that he wasn't. Severus hadn't had short hair for most of his life. When he was small, his mother just didn't care enough to get it cut and sometimes she would forget to do it herself for months on end. It all accumulated to him sitting in a sort of state of acceptance when it came to his long hair. As he got older it just sort of stuck. In truth, it had been on his mind for some time, the idea of cutting it, but he just hadn't taken steps to do it until tonight. It… well, it didn't look half bad, there was a bit of grey here and there, though nothing terribly noticeable. He looked more approachable. Now that was something he didn't love. Donning a practised scowl it was clear he could still turn someone to stone if he wished it. Well, that was good, at least. There was nothing to be done about it now, this was the whole point if something should not be to either of their likings they could simply just go their separate ways. Pulling on his cloak, Severus flooed to the Ministry. 

Once there, he was stunned by the sheer number of people in attendance, there were massive amounts, and it would be hard to realise who anyone was. This was even true when he was confident he knew many of the people in attendance here, and yet he wasn't able to tell who anyone was behind the sea of masks. Such was a plus that he hadn't been expecting. Another something that he hadn't counted on was that the place would be boasting the loudest music he had heard since the Yule Ball and the lights would be low and flashing colours like in a muggle club of some kind. It was unnerving, and he hadn't a clue if anyone would be able to find him in the madness, especially since he gave such a subtle descriptor of his costume. Damn him. Even if she did find him, they wouldn't be able to hear each other over the hoards of people.

Severus hung to the walls, his fucking feather mask was scratching on his face, but he tried to ignore it. As well, he decided not to look so bloody sullen, that was not the impression he wanted to start with, or at least that was not the idea he was hoping to put across right away. That said, it was a part of his personality that didn't exactly like to stay hidden, unfortunately. A huff escaped his lips as he scanned the crowd, it was like circus mirrors, all the lights bouncing off sequins. Severus felt partially ill by it all, and his nerves to boot. Distracted by the array of people and costumes, he did not notice that someone had gotten closer until there was a tap on his shoulder. His back was mostly turned to whoever they were, so Severus used that moment to close his eyes and steel himself before turning to address them. 

When he did, Severus found himself looking down at a woman in a mask that distinctly resembled a cat. His mouth went dry. It had leopard details with black lace, it was surprisingly elegant for the idea behind it. What caught his eye were the dark whiskey eyes, they looked like they had been dipped in the finest chocolate, as they stared up at him in return. The mask and eyes made a beautiful contrast to the creamy skin of her jaw and neck. Severus wasn't fully aware for a moment that she was trying to talk until he saw her perfect lips frown and fumble with her wand, conjuring a pad of paper and a pen. She wrote something swiftly and passed it to him. 

_ SP60? _

Severus looked down at the paper and then back to her, barely believing his eyes. She was gorgeous, even with the mask on he could tell that much. 

He penned, then handed it back to her. 

_ Yes. BookGirl I presume? _

She nodded, her head bobbing a bit, and with it, a coil came loose from her bun. 

On first inspection very brunette, but as it was hit by the light, Severus saw notes of auburn and mahogany in it. 

She bit her lip as she wrote, and Severus had to fight to keep breathing. 

_ The raven, smart, really.  _

He chuckled low, though it was silent, and penned back. 

_ Indeed. May I say or rather write that you look lovely? _

He raised an eyebrow when she looked up at him after reading the paper, and the top of his brow barely came out of his mask, she frowned slightly as if she remembered something, then she shook her head smiling wider. 

_ Yes. You may. I think you look dashing and I must agree that black is your colour, I shall never doubt that again. I am sorry that it is so loud, I didn't plan for that at all.  _

Handing the pad back to him, Severus felt a strange sense of pride swell inside of him that hse thought him dashing. That was not a word often associated with his appearance or personality. 

_ Perhaps it is for the best? We did want this to be somewhat anonymous, that said, it may be easier to write if we are sat down, punch? _

Bookgirl nodded, and Severus went to get the punch, from a table, he watched her find a couple of seats near the wall and adjust her dress before sitting. It was a midnight black dress that clung to her body and hit her mid-thigh. It had nothing to do with her mask at all, but he didn't mind. Slim legs crossed over each other, the tops of lacy stockings peaked out, higher at her thigh when she sat and Severus nearly dropped the punch. The ensemble ended with a pair of stilettos in the print of a jungle cat. Taking their drinks over Severus gave an upward turn of his lips to her when she noticed him.

'Thank you' she mouthed at him. 

Severus nodded once and sat, in the proffered seat as they looked out over the crowd for a moment. He felt electric, there was a pull between them that he had not expected. She was what he wanted, he was sure. Or was he? They had barely even seen each other, and he was drawn to her. Something just yearning for him to take hold of her and never let go. It was a foolish and ridiculous thought that Severus, frustratingly, found to be inescapable. 

_ Parties aren't generally my 'thing'. _

He read her note and smirked at her. 

_ In that, we are agreed, but I have to say this one has not disappointed.  _

Even around the mask, he could see that she was blushing a bit, it made him feel giddy that he had caused that reaction in her. 

_ Glad my mute self hasn't disappointed.  _

She made sure he was looking at her and winked. Cheeky then? But he already knew that often they went back and forth like that with each other over the chat. With that thought in his head, he jotted something down quickly. 

_ What is the bet that half the people here are hoping for a mysterious stranger to sweep them off their feet?  _

Her eyebrows popped up over her mask, and he found it to be highly adorable, he could see she was giggling a bit. That, he wished he was able to hear. The note was handed back to him. 

_ Well, I know of at least one. _

This had him smirking down at the parchment. It was not in his nature to dance, but by Merlin, he was going to try, he knew how after years as a professor and various dances, there were means of getting to know your way around a floor, but still. 

_ Would you like to dance? _

He scribbled it out, knowing that in his haste, his handwriting must look worse than usual. 

Bookgirl smiled at him and nodded, she stood, and Severus did as well, folding the parchment he placed it back inside of his pocket for safekeeping. The floor was a tad crowded, but most couples were vying for the centre, he was not interested in a show for anyone, so sticking to the edges had its advantages. As did the loud music that screeched from the speakers, it was not quite slow enough to dance to, so they stood a bit awkwardly for a moment, before the song changed, with it the music quieted a bit. Bookgirl reached up to place her arms around his neck, and Severus slipped his hands round her waist, pulling her a bit closer to him. They swayed there, looking past each other for a while. Until finally, both of them dared to look into the eyes of the other. It was an exhilarating moment, one Severus had not expected from a person that genuinely he had never actually seen before. Still, as their eyes locked his entire being was yearning to lean down and press his lips to hers. It seemed she had a similar idea as her flawless lips, slightly damp from the pink tongue that darted out to wet them parted. He felt her hot breath escape against his chest. Just as he was ready to make a move, the song changed again. A woman in a tiara and tutu, with glitter so thick he couldn't tell the shade of her hair if he tried, came up behind BookGirl to tap her shoulder. BookGirl seemed to know the girl and gave him a pleading look before motioning to the loos. Severus waved a hand flippantly and then pointed out the place they had been as he went to sit. She might have discreetly called for her friend to be rid of him, that was not unheard of, though it seemed that she was having just as good of a time as he himself was. Still, there was the nagging in the back of his mind that he would never be enough for someone, that he would make one misstep and they would never want to see him again. Especially someone so heart-stopping as BookGirl. 

Allowing the rest of the punch to glide past his lips Severus gazed out at the sea of people, taking in the various versions of themselves that they had on display. Severus was partial to people watching, after so many years as a spy. It was interesting to pick out what people did and did not say and do, the way they held themselves when no one was looking, it was fascinating. Especially when he didn't have to do it by force, now it was more of a pastime. That he could get on board with. When he dragged his eyes over the crowd, it was easy to pick out Potter, stood near the food and drink. Dressed in what could barely be considered a Prince costume Severus could tell he was decidedly uncomfortable. Something that he had learned upon later inspection of the boy… well now man, that had been the saviour of the wizarding world, was that Harry was not, in fact, pompous. He was humble and a bit awkward about his beginnings. As when he was young, his name was known all over, but Potter did not abuse it, he actually tried hard to stay out of the public eye and attempted to lead a normal life. It was refreshing. This thought marinated as Severus watched the fairy and his own (his?) feline walk up to Harry Potter. 

She knows Potter then, interesting development. Severus was sure he had never seen those eyes of hers before, even if she had been a student, he had never taken the time to study them. They were at that time all a means to an end in his life. There were the few that stuck out, that he remembered, but many came and went with little of his notice. It was very possible she knew him from the Ministry, this seemed to be further confirmed as she gave very little to the conversation that consisted of much shouting as there was still no way to hear in this damned place and excused herself, headed his way.  _ Okay. Game is now back on.  _

…

Hermione was having the time of her life. Well perhaps that was bold, but she was fascinated by the tall, dark stranger that she had been spending the night with. Though he wasn't a total stranger and even though they couldn't talk, she felt as though she was getting to know him better just by being around him. He had been just as entertaining to watch as he was to talk to over the site. Excitement rolled around in Hermione's lower belly at this. He was hot. Very very sexy. It wasn't the mask or the black ensemble it was the way he carried himself, he had this regal quality that you rarely saw outside of victorian or regency films, there was a Mr Darcyesque way about him, and Hermione was all over it. He had said there wasn't much to look at in the beginning of their online friendship; Hermione now knew that he sold himself short. The man from what she could see was what she would be interested in physically and what was more, Hermione knew about his mind.  _ That _ was the sexiest thing of all, to her at least. Unless he was hiding something terrible just behind the mask, she was confident that he had a unique beauty and she fancied the hell out of him. 

She hadn't wanted to stop and be around her friends for long as Harry was very recognisable, they knew who she was, but neither he nor Ginny knew who the man in the black mask was. Not that she wanted to know, just yet at least she would keep her mystery. 

Giving a tiny wave to him when she returned, Hermione cringed inwardly. Merlin, was she a bloody teenager now?  _ A wave, really.  _

Watching his lips, she saw them tug up in a tiny amused smile, then he inclined his head. He stood from the spot and beckoned her with a hand to follow him into one of the adjacent rooms. It was charmed to look like the night outside with benches, and even a chill breeze. The bass of music still pounded in there as well, but a tad less intensely. It was enough that they might be able to get a word in here or there. Taking up residence on a bench, he removed the paper and wrote the best question she had ever had someone ask her in a long, long while. 

_ What are you reading? _

Hermione grinned ear to ear and quickly began to jot down a title and the premise of a few books she was currently in. There was a magical history text, a couple of things for work and a thriller that she had been reading as well. His eyebrows showed a bit of animation as he read her response, and then he wrote another bit down.

_ Do you like mystery novels? _

_ Yes, I used to just positively suck up any Agatha Christie I could find when I was younger. _

This had a bigger smile spread across his own face, and Hermione noticed that he didn't do that often. Sure, more than half of his face was obscured by the mask still most of the time his mouth was a line, but when it did turn up it seemed like a present to whoever was provoking it. She was sure that she might be deluding herself about that, but it was a pleasant thought none the less. Hermione also seemed to want to place that thin line of his lips on another person she knew, but for the life of her, she just couldn't think of who it was. Instead, Hermione focused on their written chattings back and forth. 

After a time, the songs slowed and he asked her to dance again in their little private room, they still had not been disturbed. This time they were closer, both feeling more comfortable, back in the motions of the conversations they had been having for weeks now. It was easy to see when looking at it that way, why they had wanted to meet in the first place. Swaying back and forth, Hermione noticed the way his large hand felt splayed against her back, they were even close enough for her breasts to press very lightly against his chest, it made her want to shiver. As did his scent. It was masculine but not overbearing, clean and rich with some spicy undertone she couldn't quite place. Then there was the way he was looking at her through his mask. Again she was caught with the same wave of a distant memory at his dark eyes. 

She wanted to kiss him. Hermione really didn't know the man and yet… all she wanted was for him to bow his head and press his lips to hers. There was a small thrill of anticipation that went through her at the prospect of it, so she stared back at him, hoping that her eyes were conveying something to him. SP must have gotten the message as he bent his head toward her, taking his time and asking a question with his eyes as he went. Hermione closed her eyes and tilted her chin up just slightly. It was the softest brush at first, just a caress of sensitive skin, but as he pressed harder, it took on a searing quality. A flash of movement was taken up then by her own tongue sliding against his bottom lip with a boldness Hermione didn't remember she had in her. He accepted her advances and joined with his own. It was one of the most singular kisses she had ever experienced, the man knew what he was doing. It pulled her in, and as his arms wrapped around her, tugging her against his body. Hermione released a puff of breath in relief at just being held so close to another person. Like they needed you to breathe. Eventually, they broke apart, looking at each other with both surprise and mutual interest. 

Biting her bottom lip, she stood on tiptoe to kiss him again. He accepted this, but it was cut short. Hermione frowned as she pulled away. Then he wrote something in the air with a charm, not bothering with the paper.

_ I want to wait until I can see your face. Is that agreeable? Send a message if you wish to meet again, and I would be pleased to take you on a proper date. _

Hermione wanted to grumble at this, but she just couldn't he was right, they wanted to make sure it wasn't the ambience or whatever. She nodded, trying not to look too sad. 

He leaned down to give her another small kiss, then moved her lips right next to her ear, his hot breath caressed her neck. "I hope you send a message, I honestly hope so." 

This time Hermione did shiver as his breath ghosted over her nape, she could barely make out his voice, but it floated over her like chocolate. Then taking a step back, he turned with that little tug of lips and walked away. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter early because I had a rough day... haha. You all are seriously the best and all the comments on last chapter just floored me. Thank you, thank you. <3  
XOXOXO!

It wasn't until she had disappeared from the party and gotten home to her flat that Hermione realised she hadn't told Ginny where she was going. She flooed Grimmauld Place and chatted with Kreacher for a moment before giving him (as always) an overly kind instruction to inform Harry and Ginny that she had made it home safely. Then taking a speedy shower, Hermione did her best to fight off the urge to have a wank…  _ should she? Was that wrong? _ His kissing had been incredible, and she had felt his body so close to hers, she just wanted to feel him above her,  _ behind her… _ there was a myriad of things that now circled her mind. The most potent being that SP60 was absolutely as sexy as his messages made him seem, and he was interesting, she had enjoyed herself. That was far more than she could say of half the blind dates she had been on in the last two years. Usually, fifteen minutes in and she wanted to gauge her eyes out at a stupid or vile remark.

A bit of pacing about her room in a towel later. Hermione finished the large glass of red she had brought with her to the shower. Jane Granger had always done this when she wanted a little extra decadence, and Hermione followed in her mother's footsteps as an adult. On top of it being rather relaxing it also did to help Hermione forget the inhibitions of not pleasuring herself. 

"I am a grown woman." Muttering to herself, flinging the towel to the floor, and climbing under the covers. 

Spreading her legs, she closed her eyes and let her hand travel down her body. Oh, yes, she needed this. That man was just too… well he simply oozed sexual prowess, Hermione wasn't really sure how he did that, but it was the truth. Taking a deep gulp of air, she began to imagine it, his hands running from her shoulders… down her arms and to her waist. There, his thumbs made circles on the skin of her abdomen, before dipping just lower to tease her. As her thoughts rattled about Hermione's fingers found her centre. It was surprisingly already wet, by sheer thoughts of the man. Her fingers gathered her arousal before moving up to roll around her clit. A breathless, wanton moan escaped her. It wasn't Hermione's fingers anymore on her, it was his tongue, his head had slipped down between her thighs and he was bobbing about, intermittently telling her just how sexy he thought that she was, how much he loved to taste her, how when she came he was going to climb up her body and fuck her into the mattress. Her hips jerked up against her hand, and Hermione bit her bottom lip at the warm sensation pooling under her hands. A wandless spell summoned her vibrator. Slowing her circles, Hermione pressed the buzzing shape inside her, a soft gasp escaping at the sensation of being filled. Another charm had it pumping in and out of her at the perfect pace. Freeing her hands to toy with her clit and tug at a nipple. Hazily her brain envisioned the dark man pounding into her from above and Hermione came with a strangled part gasp, part wail. Spots danced in her vision when she tried to open her eyes, and the room spun a bit. 

"Gods…" she gulped out, it had been a long time since she had an orgasm that intense. It was also the first time she had been able to picture what she wanted from a partner. The dirty talk, the possessive, domineering quality, it was all what she really needed. It had just never been available from a partner, and she never really had anything to go off of in her own mind.  _ There had been a fantasy once about... nope, nada, not even going there. _ A long-time ago school girl crush on the biggest arsehole of them all was not her idea of post-wank bliss, that guy thought she was a swotty little girl even now. Not like SP60, he listened to her. 

Hermione's eyes began to droop, no doubt coming down from the adrenaline of the evening and that little adventure with herself. Before she fell asleep, Hermione typed out a quick note to SP. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Had a wonderful time. I would love to see you again. Xx. _

Her buzzed brain felt tipsy off of endorphins and alcohol, so she typed another message and sent it before she could really think about what she was doing.

BookGirl1984:  _ Is it wrong to have a wank over someone who you've only seen part of their face? In that same vein should I be worried that I have also only barely heard your voice, and yet I am enamoured with it? Asking for a friend. ;) _

BookGirl1984:  _ I think that indeed I have made a fool of myself with that last message, apologies, but you are very sexy… that wasn't better, was it?  _

Then she fell into a deep sleep where masked men in black ravished her under an autumn sunset sky. 

…

Merlin help him. Severus had wanted to tear that mask off and see what was underneath. Take her home and lose himself inside her, mind and body. At the end there, Snape had been having an arduous time deciding exactly why he shouldn't do just that. She was everything he had thought she was, that genuine nature that came across so well in their time just talking back and forth, it wasn't a farce, it was real. Granted he still hadn't heard her voice or actually seen her whole face, but those were semantics, weren't they? There would be time for that if she wanted to see him again and it seemed as though she had. His costume off and ready for bed Severus fought off the urge to have a wank over the night, was that wrong? He just didn't know if that was alright to do after an  _ almost _ first date. It was no use really though because when Severus opened his laptop, there were a few messages from her. 

To his utter and complete surprise, they were thinking along the same lines. AND BookGirl had admitted to wanking over him! Good god, if this wasn't the most welcome turn of events that he had ever experienced and one of the fucking hottest too. 

SP60:  _ No need at all to apologise. I was similarly worried myself, so I suggest between us we decide that it is not wrong. How I wanted to ask you to come back to my place… Perhaps I should have been bolder, but these things take time, and I want to give you time. In many ways… all ways… Yes. I would love to meet again, name it and I will be there. I would very much like to finally see the face and hear the voice of the woman that has me enamoured. Who also, has me wanting to toss her on the nearest surface, drop to my knees and pleasure her until the sun comes up.  _

Severus finished his message and took his aching cock in hand, stroking himself. Thinking what he hand might feel like holding his length, rubbing him. Severus reached down and cupped his bollocks, grunting in agreement with the sensation it sent through him. He thought of kissing her, and his hand moved faster, picking up speed with a twist of his wrist at the end of every stroke. Coming far too quickly all over his belly, he cast a quick cleansing spell. Promptly falling asleep with a satisfied smile on his face. 

…

Hermione's alarm went off too early for a Saturday, she was generally an early riser, but when you fall asleep in a buzzed and post orgasm stupor, it's not always a gentle wake up call. That said if she had set the alarm on a Saturday that meant there was somewhere that she needed to be. So swiping a hand over her eyes she reached for the schedule that she kept next to her bed, it was the same as the one she carried with her, except Hermione charmed them to make any changes to each other when one was written in. One of her more brilliant ideas or she liked to think so. 

Squinting at the top of the page there were words written in bold letters. MINISTRY BOOK SALE!!! 

Her eyes went wide, and she leapt out of bed, setting it to make itself as she got ready quickly, excitement rolling around inside of her. This was one of her favourite days of the year, how had she forgotten? The Ministry archives and the library got together once a year and had a sale of the books that were out of date, not needed or that they had newer copies of. This year they were teaming up with Flourish and Blotts as well. It was first come first serve, and Hermione had been waiting outside before the doors opened every year, like a proper bookworm. Tugging on a pair of leggings and a comfy jumper Hermione took her tea to go and apparated to an alley near the Ministry, ready for a day of browsing. 

…

It had very officially turned cold, or considerably closer to that, at the very least. Severus was buttoned up to the neck, recently that was not the norm. The warm cup of coffee pressed into his palm and heated it, whilst the other was shoved deep into his coat pocket. It was the first time possibly ever that he strode into the Ministry and sighed in relief, the warmth of the building was beneficial indeed. Rolling his eyes, he saw that a small queue stood outside the Ministry library, there usually was when they did something like this, but thankfully he was a bit early, or it would be an utter madhouse. Standing casually in the queue, he mentally made a small checklist of the books that he needed or wanted. 

Top of the list was Potion Making In Another Century. A master had taken a time turner years ago to the 1600s and tried his hand at making potions there for a time, then came back. Severus had never been able to get his hands on a copy, but he knew that the Ministry had at least one copy, and he knew from a bit of prying of Kingsley the week before that it was one of the books to be put in the sale. So if nothing else he wanted that one. Badly. With any luck, he would be the only one interested in it. Pulling the novel, he was reading from his pocket, he enlarged it and began to read as they waited. A thriller,  _ Cockroaches _ by Jo Nesbo, if Severus were candid, he had barely been able to put the damn thing down. 

A huff of someone slightly out of breath stirred him as they brushed up next to him. Severus didn't look up, trying to keep reading, but he felt them looking at his book. 

"That's really good," murmured a voice next to him, it was a woman. 

Looking up, Severus was about to respond when he realised who it was. Hermione Granger. His eyes instantly narrowed, calculating. "I am finding it satisfactory, yes." Something in Snape hadn't allowed anything more aggressive than that to come out of his mouth. Even if he had wanted to. 

Her eyebrows flew up when she apparently recognised him, then he saw her flounder for something to say in return. 

_ Blast, the woman, hadn't recognised him, how the hell…? Oh.  _

"You've had your hair cut." It was a statement, an awkward one. He could tell that she knew it too because Granger winced visibly at her own words. "I mean, it looks good." 

Severus snorted, "Spare me." 

"No, I mean it, it adds to all the black and that… refined thing," to the end of her statement, she frowned as if thinking of something, then shook her head eyes dancing.

Strange, he thought he knew her eyes, but no, perhaps not. 

"Well, I decided a change might be acceptable." Severus noticed the doors opening and raised an eyebrow in indication, "well then." 

In a very awkward fashion, the two of them moved their separate ways in the library without a formal goodbye. Severus was able to breathe with intention after that, shaking his head, and going to find the potion books, trying to shake off the strange sense of deja vu he'd experienced and couldn't place. Hermione Granger would be at this sort of thing, he had been a dunderhead to even think that she wouldn't. 

…

Once inside, Hemione made a beeline toward a section that she did not see Snape heading to.  _ Ugh, what the fuck had that been? _ She had seen him there reading and for a second… well, he just looked so interested in his book, and the hair… Jesus, she really had made a fool out of herself. Doing her best to put it from her mind Hermione cupped the tea in her hand and strolled about the aisles, enjoying the smell of paper and ink. Picking up tomes and looking them over. 

A little while later, she had a full basket and was shoving it across the floor with her foot as she continued to browse. Hermione found herself in the potions section, though she didn't know exactly when she got there. There was a book she had been wanting. As she thought this, the title jumped out and grabbed her. Reaching a hand toward it, Hermione went to snatch it up, then her hand bumped into one going the same exact direction from across the table. The long fingers curled back, and she knew instantly who it was. Damn. 

His face didn't actually look angry, it looked livid. The black of his eyes flared with dark fire, and Hermione almost worried she was going to get detention, almost. 

"I have been looking everywhere for this book." 

"Me too," it didn't sound meek, but it wasn't an argument either, for some reason, Hermione wanted him to have the book. It wasn't as if she really needed it all that bad, and he was the potions master after all. Still, she hated giving in to him. 

His finger tapped insistently at the cover, one pale digit, and a flat, dull clunk as it hit the cover repeatedly. Why was his hand familiar? Well, she had been his student for years, watching him fling his wand about the room and set notes on the board, his lecturing, he did use his hands quite a lot really.  _ No foolish wand-waving my arse.  _

Hermione, let go of the book. Even a week before would not have done such a thing, since the moment Snape had left St. Mungos, it had been tooth and nail between them. If she were to be completely honest with herself, she was hurt. Hermione had spent two weeks in that room every day with him, reading to him, making sure that he had company. Initially, she had been the only one around when things had been so mad at Mungos, but then it became something more, she wanted to help him, finish out what she started when she, Harry and Ron saved him in the Shack. After it was all over and done with she had felt closer to the Professor. Even if he had been unconscious for most of these occurrences. When she saw him at one of the Order get-togethers next, Hermione tried to talk to him, and he looked at her as if she were insane. It had stung, deeply. 

Since, it had been all about proving to him that she was not some spoiled, petulant student, but a clever and intelligent witch. It felt like at every turn he was trying to crush that. The idea that he had been elegant and dark, handsome even this morning upon first glance when she looked at him, well it had been startling. There was an attraction there, even if she had tried to deny it for years, she found him fascinating, but she also found him to be an arrogant, snide git. So there was that. 

Snape raised an ebony eyebrow at her relinquishing the book to him. "You're just going to give up?" he sneered. 

Hermione gave a huff and looked at the ceiling, there he was again with the harsh demeanour. 

"Yes. I don't really feel like having my intelligence insulted today. So I figured I'd just stop while I am ahead." 

To this, Snape looked surprised. "Your intelligence?" 

"Yes." Hermione snapped. "I know that you think I am as stupid as the rest of the students you taught, and that used to bother me, but now I know it is impossible for you to actually think anyone worthy of praise other than yourself. And I am sure the time it takes to look down  _ that _ nose at someone is the most fulfilling part of your day." She watched his nostrils flare but didn't wait for him to reply, turning she headed to the front to purchase her books and leave. 

As she was walking outside in the drizzle, she let a few tears escape, why? She didn't really know. Maybe it was that he was the only teacher to never give her praise or just the confrontation itself, either way, Hermione was done with Severus Snape. Still, a little part of her was angry at herself for being so unkind to the man in a moment of anger. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO!

Hermione had gotten the books that she needed. Sure that one Snape had snatched from her would have been nice, but she didn't need it. To be totally fair, it wasn't as if she even worked with potions. It was more that Hermione devoured anything that vaguely resembles a book even slightly, and it had been a rare one to boot. Still, Snape would probably put it to better use than she would. The man was ingenious at potions, there was that...  _ intelligent full stop, really. And a git. _

Drizzle beat down over her umbrella as she stepped from the Ministry exit. The smell of freshly dampened pavement and the crisp autumn air was refreshing. Placing the books in her beaded bag, Hermione strode into Muggle London for a pastry and coffee. Her senses still hummed with animosity from hers and Snape's 'discussion' and perhaps something else as well. It had been a while, probably since her youth, that Hermione thought if him in a sense that was not strictly spiteful, but she found him magnetic in that last instance. Something about it tugged at her, settling heavy in her belly with the remembrance of her mean comments to him. 

Hermione took a moment to centre herself before entering a nearby cafe, she didn't want to feel so much hostility or confusion for that matter. The day before had been so lovely. Thinking of that, Hermione realised that she had not checked to see what SP had responded with. Cringing, the recollection of her own message surfaced, god she had told him something about having a wank, she knew that much was true. Perhaps watching her wine intake would be prudent now that she had the potential to accidentally sext someone.  _ Merlin help her.  _

Grabbing a cappuccino and a croissant take away she found an alley and apparated home. It didn't take long for books to be placed on shelves. Vaguely she wondered if she could squeeze a new bookcase in her sitting room, the others were getting a bit full. That seemed to be the never-ending debacle of her life. Settling on the sofa with her breakfast and coffee, Hermione fumbled a bit with the laptop. Manoeuvring to her messages tab and hoping to Merlin that he had not found her a nutter. Instead, she found a message that had her knickers wet in an instant, then another sent a bit after, as well. 

SP60: _ Permit me to give an explanation to what I had in mind for the evening if I had less restraint than I do, though that restraint that I speak of was held by a thread I must say.  _

_ Kissing you would have been a near-constant, even after leaving the party. I would wish my lips to worship you, take you and let you know just how badly I want to have you writhing beneath me. Feeling the arching of your back as you incline toward me would be exceptional. It would just be all too easy, dropping to my knees and pushing you to sit back against the sofa. Lips making their way up your ankles to your knees and inner thighs. I would stay there, long enough to hear the panting, an indication of exceptional torture. God, but I would take my time tasting you, running my tongue over the place that I hope will make you quiver. Alas, this fantasy must be put away for another time, though I hope not too long.  _

_ As always, if I have said something untoward indicate, please.  _

Blinking Hermione couldn't imagine what she would reply at this moment, but she needed her vibrator that was certain. She was ready to hop up and get it when Ginny came through the floo, nearly knocking over a table that was next to the fire. For a girl so graceful on the Quidditch pitch she was a bloody bull in a china closet everywhere else.

"Bollocks," muttered Gin, "hey!"

Hermione stared at her, so lost in her heady, sensual fantasy that she didn't realise why on earth, Ginny would be here at his moment. 

"Harry has an Auror training this weekend, member?"

Hermione smacked her own forehead with her palm, yes, she had forgotten that Ginny was going to stay with her that night. "Right, it totally slipped my mind."

"Thanks again, I hate staying in that creepy house all alone, and I don't think I can stomach a conversation with my mother and her need for grandbabies at this moment, no thank you." Ginny dropped her things and went to the kitchen, comfortable as she was in Hermione's flat. "So, I want to know everything, EVERYTHING." Ginny's eyes widened as she said the last word as she stuck her head around to look at Hermione still on the couch. 

It forced a chuckle out of Hermione as she leaned against the wall and watched Ginny whipping up sandwiches for both of them. Releasing a puff of air, Hermione tried to loosen the tight coils that had settled in her stomach after reading that message. 

…

Sandwiches eaten and Hermione's recounting of the night before had Ginny in a near comical trance. Eyes wide and glossy with romance.

"Soooo?" Hermione asked when Ginny hadn't said anything. 

"You should have slept with him." 

"Gin!"

"Don't even try to argue with me, that message got me hot and bothered… don't tell Harry that, though. The two of you were like completely captivating. I know that sounds cliche, but Merlin I shagged Harry senseless when we got home, poor Kreacher probably heard too, I didn't bother with any Muffliatos." 

To that revelation, Hermione gapped at Ginny. 

"It's true, I would have had that man on his back before you could say Bludger." Ginny raised an eyebrow for emphasis and took a gulp of tea. 

"Oh shit! I need to respond!" Hermione leapt up and grabbed her computer. 

"You do that, I am going to use your loo," Ginny left the room and Hermione to her devices. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Candidly speaking, that message did a number on my knickers. They were soaked after reading the first line that you wrote… I must say that I may be regretting my decision to leave yesterday, I would have been far more satisfied with your head between my thighs than I was with my own hand… though I did imagine that it was yours.  _

_ Now, you have me wondering, what do you prefer when someone is giving you head? Do you like to be teased? Or do you prefer to hold the back of the head or hair, to control the movement? If I took my tongue and swirled around the head of your cock, all whilst massaging your bollocks with my hand, would that be something you would enjoy? I want to know it all… could I practice? Work on it until I get you just there? The speed, the suction… _

_ Thinking of my masked raven. _

"Ooo! That's hot!" Ginny was looking over Hermione's shoulder.

"Ginny! Jesus…" Hermione turned bright red, closing the laptop and crossing her arms over her chest. 

The redhead only laughed, plopping down on the other end of the couch. "Don't be so worried about it, embrace it!" 

Hermione only huffed at that comment, but Ginny wouldn't have it. 

"I'm serious Hermione, confidence is half of anything. If you have the confidence, everything else will come too. Now, can we plllleeeaaasseee watch a film?" 

With an eye roll, Hermione grabbed a remote and flipped on the telly. Still, her friend had her thinking, this was partially true, wasn't it? Part of what had made SP so sexy was the way he went about it. He knew what he wanted, and that was hot. Though that specific mode of functioning was not in her strong category. Usually, she was the one huddled up in a corner, trying not to be noticed whilst she read. It worked in a tick, but it wasn't confident it was a cop-out to avoid people, or perhaps just avoid their assumptions of her. Whatever the case, Hermione decided that taking her friends advice would not be misplaced.

…

After the little encounter with Miss Granger, Severus had been thinking about his actions. She was the only person from his past life that still really drove him up a wall, but if he were to be excessively honest, he would have to say that he did not know why exactly. She wasn't really swotty like she used to be, well not all the time and their confrontations always seemed to be a combination of the two of them getting put out just by seeing each other. On her side, that could be warranted, he was not exactly the most handsome man to look at, but Snape couldn't actually say that she was unattractive. The hair that had always seemed a bit much as a child had mellowed, and she had curves that were in just the right places… Severus stopped himself. He disliked Miss Granger, that was it, he just did. 

For lunch, he took himself out to an Italian place with his new book, charming the cover to show something muggle as to not raise any strange glances. Then after finishing his Bolgeneise headed back to his flat, with a fair few pages of notes in hand. He really wanted to see what BookGirl had said. 

When he did open the laptop and read through her short but compelling message, the tightening in Severus's trousers was nearly painful. Palming himself over the fabric, he groaned aloud and ran a hand over his face. Bloody hell, he needed to meet this woman. So that's what he asked if they could meet for lunch the following day. He didn't want to make her assume that he had ulterior motives only and thought lunch was acceptable. Her response arrived a while later and had a dampening effect on his mood that otherwise had been relatively peaceful. At least after the wank, he achieved earlier in the day. 

BookGirl1984:  _ I have a friend staying this weekend, or I would love to. I am sorry, how is your week? Perhaps some time then? I am free for dinner, lunch is generally too short. Note that I am very excited, and this is not a way of getting out of it. DO NOT think that.  _

His plan all typed out and ready to send when Severus realised that he had a convention for the Ministry that he had to attend most of the week, he was just about to send a message to that effect when another from her popped up. 

BookGirl1984:  _ I know this must sound something awful… but I have a work trip that I must have completely forgot about. I am so sorry… I am dreading this week for many reasons, but extending the time that I don't get to know you, is perhaps worse than all of it. _

An interesting coincidence. Perhaps BookGirl was going to the same convention that he was, she did work for the Ministry. Though there were plenty of trips that various departments went on and often, he couldn't be sure it was the same unless he asked. His courage failed him in asking, if she wanted to tell him where she was going, then she would have. So instead Snape made a tentative plan to take her to dinner the week after that. There. Sorted. The response that followed was another descriptor that had him taking himself in hand, even as he wrote a steamy reply back to her. 

…

Spending the weekend with Ginny had been refreshing, Gin was so unapologetic about the way she lived her life and Hermione could use a dose of that. Despite putting on a face that she didn't care what others thought of her, she did. That was the saddest part, Hermione didn't want to, but there was still that urge to be accepted. The bottom line was she just wasn't everyone's cup of tea, and that was just fine. It was the people that were  _ her _ people that mattered, not the ones that weren't. Most of the time, these feelings came from her work life, she had a never-ending need to do better and to be better than herself. Most of the people she worked with were fantastic, and Hermione got great advice, they praised her accomplishments, but it was always in the back of Hermione's head that it was because of the time she had spent hunting Horcruxes or even just being friends with Harry. She knew that often he felt similarly about the way he was treated. 

Then some people seemed to genuinely have chips on their shoulders. Thinking Hermione was only in her position because of her part in the defeating of Voldemort. Really what was she supposed to do about that? Go back and time, decide not to find those Horcruxes, just to prove her worth? Yes. Seems logical and useful. Either way, she knew that she would see both types of people at the convention. 

"But that's okay." Hermione murmured to herself in the mirror. Shrinking down her baggage and heading for the floo. Who knew she could very well learn a lot on the trip and it didn't have to be because of the people. She had packed at least 5 books, in case she read through enough somewhere along the way. 

…

The Portkey to New York had been unpleasant. There had been five other Ministry workers that were also on his portkey, and Severus was shoved between a man who smelled like mothballs and taffy (an odd and unpleasant combination) and a woman giving him  _ 'it's so heart-stoppingly romantic that you still loved Lily Evan-Potter after all this time' _ eyes. Suffice it to say that Severus was not at all happy to be dealing with such a thing that early in the morning and without coffee as well. They had needed to leave early in the morning to check into their hotel at a decent time. Plus, the whole night he did sleep had been spent tossing and turning, thinking about BookGirl and how he was going to get through this work event without wondering whether she was everyone around him, which was, of course, absurd, but still. 

In packing, many books were stowed away in an effort to possess a vast array of distraction should he need it, which was very possible. Usually, these things entailed a lot of waiting and even more talking, he was determined to undermine both. 

"Snape? Have you found your room?" It was the same woman from the portkey, she was pretty, but he had actually been privy to some of her more… deep thoughts, once at a Christmas party, and they were, in actuality as shallow as a kiddie pool. 

"Just." He indicated the door to his left that he had been about to enter. 

"Oh, shame, I'm a floor up." She pouted like a small child. 

"Yes, well… best be getting on with it then." Snape muttered stiffly.

She gave a nod that he barely saw, trying as he was to not pay much attention to her. She had disappeared up the hall toward the lift, when he was entering the room, just as he was about to shut the door, the one across the corridor opened, and he met Hermione Granger's eyes. Caramel, they reminded him of smooth, buttery rich caramel.

Staring back at him wide-eyed, Severus shut the door before anything else could really take place. For some reason, the idea of getting into an argument with her sent his heart racing in the worst way. 

Dropping his things on the bed Severus pinched the bridge of his nose, he swore under his breath. This was just perfect. How was he supposed to be attentive enough at finding BookGirl (not what he was meant to be doing) when he was avoiding Granger? Resigning himself to a rough start of this trip Severus gathered what he needed and peaked out the door before seeing a deserted hall, he needed to ingest caffeine before he could do anything else. 

… 

That was just bloody brilliant. Hermione had been fantasising about her masked man being in the room near her by some mad happenstance. It looked as though she was to be disappointed. She and Severus Snape were at the end of the corridor, close to the stairs and facing each other. Once he had effectively shut the door, Hermione rushed to the lobby, a few colleagues from her department were there and hopefully Ron and Harry. Auror's weren't required to attend if they had cases, but she didn't think they did. One of the large ballrooms that was meant to be their's was pretty well filled with people. It was not Hermione's favourite thing, walking about people she had never met before. Actually, it was a bit difficult for her to manoeuvre, but smoothing down the front of her creamy blouse she took in the room and who she could see. Some were obviously from MACUSA as she had never in her life seen them, perhaps the level of people was enough to make sure that Hermione didn't see Severus Snape again, the whole trip.

This was very quickly learned to be a pipe dream as when she was filling a paper cup with coffee and adding a touch of creamer, he had appeared on the other side of the table from her. Not looking, thank god. Hurriedly picking up a lid she began to turn, just as his eyes flicked up. They were so dark, like midnight pools. Why was she thinking about his eyes?

"Bloody hell." He swore under his breath. 

Narrowing her own eyes, she looked on. "Oh, don't be such a child." She could not help it, the response had just popped from her mouth, there had been nothing to do about it. Welp, she was in for it now, not that it mattered.  _ Bring it on, Snape.  _

Nostrils flaring and face twisting in irritation. Hermione was about to say something else, and it seemed so was he when she felt to hands on her upper arms. 

"Hey, Mione. Been lookin for ya, let's go, yeah?" It was Harry, and he seemed to be giving an apologetic look to Snape as he hauled her away. 

"What was that about?" She asked enraged. 

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, "I thought I was helping…" 

"Who? Me? Or him.." she said him with a level of venom that was usually reserved for something very very specific, but Harry did not seem too fazed by it. 

"Listen, we are just trying to keep things running smooth... Okay?" 

"Are you being an Auror right now? To me!" Hermione was so angry. 

"Whoa.. no, I am just- well, you know, well I mean I know how you get… when you're angry."

She raised her eyebrow, "go on, then, spill." 

"Member when Ron came back?" 

"That was a long time ago  _ and _ warranted." 

Harry nodded, "I just want to make sure you are fully using that marvellous brain of yours," and he grinned at her. 

Hermione began to cool off and realise that he was doing the best he could and trying to help. His intentions were only the best. "Fine. But that man does one thing… I'm going to hex him." 

"Let's see how the day goes, shall we? If he is an arse, I won't stand in your way." There was something in his look that Hermione could not quite place, and it was gone before she could really analyse it. 

Harry tugged on her arm, and they headed off to the first of many lectures taking place that day. 

Across the way, Hermione noticed a figure. "Bloody hell is that Cormac? Just Avada me now." 

…

Evening came, and he had not seen Granger again, though having to sit through some of the most ridiculous lectures ever imagined was nearly as bad. Severus was happy to get back to his room that evening, foregoing dinner with everyone in favour of ordering room service. He would pay the damn extra fee if he could have some peace and quiet. As he waited for his food, Severus had a shower and changed into a pair of black sweat pants and a plain black tee shirt. In the evenings it was to hell with buttons and hello cotton. He had just dried his hair a bit when there was a knock. It was not actually his room service, but an owl-eyed and frightened-looking Granger. 

"Look, I know that you hate me. I get it, I am a know it all swot, but please, please can you let me in for just a moment." She glanced down the hall, looking utterly terrified, "I… oh my god, I think he found a key." 

Snape was not about to let her come into his room, what in the name of Merlin was she thinking? 

"Oh, please, I think you are the only one that will put him off," she was still looking down the corridor with worry. 

Severus allowed his brow to furrow in consternation, "who?" 

"Cormac Maclaggen, he's been trying to get me alone all day, and he's friends with the front desk girl. I think he told her we were going to hook up tonight." 

Not really knowing what he was about to do Severus opened the door and let her in. Shutting the door behind. 

"Oh, holy Jesus, thank you." She closed her eyes and leaned back against the door. 

Severus noted that she too had changed into lounging clothes by the looks of it. A cropped grey jumper that showed a sliver of skin above where her light pink sweatpants began. Severus swallowed, why had his throat suddenly gone dry looking at her? Granger was Granger, as she said, a swotty know it all. She seemed to be unaware of his fascination and took a look through the peephole of his door. 

"Damn, still there-" she squeaked when someone came into view, and there was a knock. 

Hiding behind the door, she allowed Severus past to answer the door. Now, it was his room service. The man rolled the tray in, and Severus gave him a tip without paying much attention. Then shut the door again revealing Granger. 

"He still there?" 

"Yes. I believe he looks to be setting up camp in front of your door." 

"Oh no!" she groaned, running a hand over her face. "Well, it looks like I bothered you for no reason, as I will now have to face him anyway…" She gave a sheepish smile that actually was… endearing? 

Had he just thought that? This seemed to spur him forward, "you could stay if you must," it came out a bit irritated, thank Merlin. 

"Oh!" Brown eyebrows shot up in surprise at this. "I… well I don't want to disturb you…" 

"You already have." he snorted and went to sit on the sofa at the end of the bed. "Food is a phone call away. I am going to use my skills of deduction to guess that because you were up here that you have also not eaten?" 

Another embarrassed smile, this time ending in the biting of a lip. "I was going to order room service," she motioned to his food.

"Well," Snape floated a menu to her. "Have at it." Then he went to begin scooping up a bite of salad, watching out of the corner of her eye before she hesitated and went to call in the order. "Could I uh, use your loo?" 

He nodded, "of course."

When she was gone, Severus leaned back, thinking on why exactly he was doing this? He did bloody hate Mclaggen, but that wasn't all of it. For some reason, he wanted to know more about adult Granger. Something about her called to him, despite his hasty need for telling her off at every turn. Perhaps she wasn't so bad at all… 

…

An hour later, Severus and Hermione had finished eating, both of them having had a few glasses of wine, they were talking and not screaming at each other, which was a surprising concept. There was a beat or two of silence, Hermione tried not to think about Severus sitting so close to her. That would not be helpful at all. He was her old potions professor, and the wine had made him bearable surely, now it was time to go back to her room. Hermione forced herself to stand, and she seemed to see a small look of indecision in his eyes before it was gone. 

"Right. Thank you for letting me crash your evening, you truly saved me from a terrible fate." She tried to sound light-hearted even if that was not at all how she felt. 

Severus waved a hand and stood. "Not at all." 

They were quiet, and he almost seemed to sway forward a bit though she couldn't exactly be sure. Taking the initiative, Hermione reached for the door handle and disappeared out into the hallway, glancing up, so see Snape shutting the door as she went inside. 

Neither was privy to it, but they both sagged against their doors. Wondering if all the past interactions had been a product of preconceived ideas. The night had been more than pleasant. Both idly questioned if meeting their secret messaging partners would be just as... stimulating. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are almost there people... almost! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, lovely people. I am going to start by saying I am sorry for the wait. I know I told many of you that this would be up earlier and here it is later. Going to edit this ended up being a debacle, nothing felt right and it just took me ages. So, if there are any errors I am sorry, and I hope the chapter is not utter rubbish, cause I am just feeling irritated about it after spending hours trying to make it right. Anyway, I know that many of you are wanting our couple to meet in person, let me just ask you hold with me for this chapter and I promise I will make it worth your while ;). I also throw you a bone in here, do not worry hehe.   
Alright, that was long. Thank you all for the love and I hope you enjoy this chapter, as always let me know if you do, it brightens my day!  
xoxoxo!

"You know you are ridiculous, don't you?" Ron's voice was amused as the three of them sat having breakfast on the last day of the convention. "Just a few days ago you were praising the man for saving you from Mclaggen, and now he is suddenly the worlds biggest arsehole ever? Come off it." 

Harry chuckled but wasn't quite so verbose about the whole thing as Hermione. 

"He insulted the way I think." Hermione's face was red from fuming, "he basically said that I memorise information and then regurgitate it without thinking of the other possible outcomes, without ' _ really thinking _ '. Mostly he made it clear that my intelligence is not real." 

Harry scrunched his eyebrows together, "I don't think that's exactly what he said. I think it was more about you thinking outside the box would help you. Well at least at first, when you went back at him for being emotionally stiff… well, everything after that was rage, between both of you." 

"Well I think he's a foul git," Hermione rolled her eyes and shoves a chunk of broccoli in her mouth. 

Harry winced a bit at her comment. 

"I am so ready to go home," Hermione muttered sulkily staring off at the other side of the room, at nothing in particular. 

The boys knew that arguing with her at this point would be futile, so they agreed and finished eating. 

…

That woman would give him fucking high blood pressure if he didn't watch it. Fucking christ. 

Once back in his flat, Severus fell into his chair and used magic to put away his things, even if he knew it wouldn't end up as clean as if he had done it by hand. At this point, he couldn't be fucked to care. He was just happy to be away from Granger. Of course, she hadn't understood his meaning, it was meant to be something of a compliment to her intellect and that she could be using it more effectively, but she had not seen it that way. And that was not his fault, not one bit. 

Rubbing his temples Severus summoned a pain potion and his laptop, it was time to speak with a woman that actually didn't act like a complete loon.  _ A wild-haired, deep brown-eyed lunatic.  _ Even as he thought it Severus knew he could have had more tact when talking with Granger, he just didn't have the skill of conversing with others very well. Not always anyway, as she had said he was emotionally stunted… Severus knew that. It wasn't as if years living as an introverted, mostly hermit hadn't taught him that. Severus Snape was well suited for isolation, for his and the rest of the sake of the world, to be sure. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Well. That was the longest week of my life. Hope yours was better than mine. Only adding to the list of things that were unsavoury about my time away was our lack of being able to converse. I just had to ask because it was one of the topics at the convention. What are your thoughts on the Polyjuice bans?  _

_ Looking forward to your thoughts.  _

Severus smirked, so she had been at the same convention. There had been so many Ministry workers in attendance it was impossible to pick out who was from where. They would meet soon enough. He had many thoughts and opinions on the bans, so he cracked his knuckles and began. It was refreshing to talk with someone who really knew, took in what he said and respected it as well. It was too often that he found himself in the acquaintance of dunderheads. The entire week at the Ministry convention was proof of that, if nothing else. Something about that interaction with Granger still bothered him, and he cursed the girl for getting under his skin, his cool indifference was lost on that woman. It was as if his whole being was so desperate to give her emotion, whatever kind that may be, he wasn't able to keep it at bay. Still, it would be an utter lie should he say he didn't find her conversation stimulating in the hotel room.

After typing out his response to BookGirl, which was very lengthy. She had also enclosed her own thoughts on the matter and what she had learned when at the convention. Somehow, he came away from reading her ideas with the strangest urge to take himself in hand. It wasn't as if her words had been sexy per se, though intelligence was something that he found to be incredibly hot. It was knowing that there was someone with a passion for things he had passion for. This thought in mind Severus went off to take a shower and sort out the rather impressive erection he was sporting. All with images of a brown-eyed, masked woman in his mind. 

…

Knitting night yet again and Hermione was desperate for a chin wag. Sometimes nothing soothed the soul like a little bit of friendly gossip, and that would be what she got no doubt about it. Minerva seemed to have, in recent weeks, the best stories of students doing all sorts of strange things. It was closer and closer to Christmas hols, and as that approached it would only get worse or so said the Headmistress. 

It had been two weeks since the convention and three since the Halloween ball. Still, Hermione had not met her masked man. It was dismaying that things had been so busy. If it wasn't something going wrong in her department, it was working late to finish the paperwork required. If neither of those, it seemed that SP60 was also busy. His lab, which she now knew was in the Ministry (though she knew not which one) as well seemed to be dealing with various new assignments. It had been keeping him very occupied and unable to meet. There was a small part of her that wanted to just show up at the Potions Department and see if she could spot who he was, but that was ridiculous and childish, truly. There was bound to be so many people working in the various departments. On top of that, how would it look if she showed up in his place of work?  _ 'Hi, I am that girl you don't know but talk to every day. Me, member? In the cat mask, you snogged me to the brink of orgasm, and I would like very much for you to do it again.'  _

Yeah, that was a good idea. 

So instead she hoped for the time to meet him. His messages and been some of the best parts of her days. Hermione couldn't help but think he could be that in person as well. Despite the trepidation, she felt at meeting someone she knew but also didn't at the same time. 

"Earth to Hermione!" Ginny was waving a hand in front of her face, her long red ponytail draped over a shoulder. "Ah, there ya are. We were asking if you were going to go to my game this weekend? I have a big box, and dad is trying to make it into an Order get together." 

"Oh!" She had been so lost in thought that it was hard to come back to reality. She had been going to ask SP60 if he was free that weekend. "Well, I-" 

"Come on! You haven't been to one of my games at all this season. Just one a season, that was the deal member? And Bill, Fleur will be there. George and Charlie too." Ginny was verging on annoyingly whining, but Hermione knew that she couldn't really say no, she had made that deal with her. Plus, it had been some time since she saw the Weasley family as a whole. Or the rest of the Order.

"Right, okay, I could do with having a word with Charlie about the Ministry's ideas about Dragon trading." 

At the mention of her child Mrs Weasley looked over, "you know Charlie is moving back to England." Her face just glowed with the excitement only a mother could have by getting that news. 

"Is he?" It was Angelina this time. 

"Yes," said Mrs Weasley, giving Hermione a sly look, "he's been asking about you, Hermione." 

_ Uh oh. _

Hermione swallowed, "really? Me?" 

Molly nodded, continuing to do her knitting, but raised on eyebrow. "Anyway, please come to the match." 

There was absolutely no way at all around this one. So Hermione nodded, and they all turned toward a different subject. One that involved a third-year getting trapped in the Room Of Requirement for a month straight. 

…

It was a bright autumn morning when Hermione stepped out of her home and into a nearby alley to apparate for the Burrow. A few of them were meeting there before heading off to the match, a home game for the UK. Quidditch was not one of Hermione's more favoured past times, but still, she was in it for her friend, and it was nice to see the others as well. Kingsley and Bill were talking outside of the house, Hermione gave a cursory greeting to the two of them before moving into the main area. 

"Hermione!" Bellowed Hagrid from across the room. Shooting to his feet, he lumbered over her and pulled her into a tight, somewhat uncomfortable hug. 

She wasn't even able to honestly say anything in return as the tight squeeze didn't allow her voice to work properly. Thankfully Charlie's voice cut in. 

"Hagrid, I think you may be suffocating the poor girl." 

"Oh! Right, right." Hagrid murmured placing Hermione down and brushing her off, a bit gentler than he would typically have un-reminded. Then he seemed to spot Harry by the door and turned to go, and no doubt perform the same treatment on him as well. 

"It's good to see you." Charlie took a step closer to her and Hermione sucked in a deep breath. 

Charlie was indeed the best of all the Weasley traits, or so Hermione had always thought. Tall, like most of them. Broad like Bill, a smile that melted the observer, very much like George and sweet Fred. And those dazzling blue eyes, like Ron. The charms of Ginny and the drive of Percy. All wrapped together with that iconic ginger hair. His own character showed a bit, as a dragon tattoo edged up his neck from his shoulder, barely visible. 

"You too Charlie," Hermione murmured in response, momentarily bewildered by how she didn't think him as handsome as she once had years ago. Not for his lack of being so, but she just... well he wasn't what she wanted to see every morning when she woke up. For some reason, Hermione saw the image of Snape looking down at her as she opened her eyes in morning sunlight. The light filtered past, making his eyes sparkle. 

Charlie's voice unburdened her of that odd thought. "I would love to hear about your work in the department, I am getting transferred there next week." 

Hermione's eyebrow shot up at this, she loved it when someone really wanted to know about her line of work. She nodded, and they began to chat back and forth as the group left for the match. Good, this was good; it was undeniable she needed a distraction. 

It wasn't until everyone was ready to all take a portkey that she saw Snape talking with Professor McGonagall, so he was here too, was he… oh well. There wasn't enough time to think about that when she was pulled and twisted, landing ungracefully to the ground and then being helped up by Charlie. The unruly hair and gold hoop in his ear that used to thrill her, now seeming boyish. Hermione looked straight ahead to distract herself. 

George had his arm around Angelina and Hermione was grateful he looked decently enough at ease there had been little of that for him since Fred. The effortless way he pressed a kiss to Angelina's cheek had a jolt of jealousy coursing through Hermione. Though it was easy to shake off, she was happy for them. Ron had brought a new 'friend' as well. Aside from Charlie, the rest of the group near them had partners, well the two of them, and Snape, but did he really count? Sure, recently she had been thinking about him more like a man, but still. 

"Odd men out aren't we?" Asked Charlie. 

Hermione blushed and looked around, pretending as if this was the first time she was noticing. "Yup."

"Well Snape too, but he was a teacher, so I don't want to think of him that way, who would?" Charlie chuckled, shuddering and Hermione returned a small huff of a laugh that she didn't fully feel. 

_ That was a complete and utter lie. Hermione Granger, you should be ashamed of yourself!  _

This was all said just as Snape saunter close to hearing distance of them. He had been floating a book with him as he walked, not unlike how she often did it as well, but he glanced up. He had heard what she said. He was quick to turn away without really giving her any indication of what he was thinking, and Hermione instantly felt sick to her stomach. He was a person like the rest of them and what Charlie had said was rude. No, it was more than that, it was uncalled for and untrue. She had so often defended the man, even with him not liking her in school, why now was she to apt to find fault in him? Snape had his reasons for being the way he was, she knew that so did all the wizarding world. Which probably made it all the worse for someone with such a proclivity for introversion. She would bloody well know. Charlie didn't seem phased by any of this. Having moved onto a new topic. Hermione tried to keep up, but inside she was feeling at a loss. 

…

Granger. Course she was here, Snape wouldn't admit it even to himself, but he had known she would be there and still, he accepted Arthur's invitation. Minerva wouldn't have let him hear the end of it if he hadn't. To be honest, well Severus liked Quidditch, and box seats were excellent. He spent a decent amount of his life at work or in his flat, but there were the times that even the great bat of East London wanted to get out a bit. If that meant surviving seeing Granger and her wild amber hair well, he could do it. What Severus hadn't counted on was the strange emotion that he felt when Granger was next to Charlie Weasley as they were entering the box.  _ What was he feeling exactly? _

Trying to brush it off Severus went back to discussing what he thought about the Polyjuice bans with Minerva. The box had decent heating charms placed on it, as it was mostly out in the open, but still, Severus was happy that he wore his a jumper under his coat, and for an added barrier between himself and Granger, who somehow ended up just next to him on in the seats. 

"I just don't see why it would be a bad thing to put a little more restriction on the potion." Minerva tried. 

"It isn't about the matter of placing restrictions, that is well and good. It is about the fact that there is an easier way. If you trace ingredients-"

"People will still be able to get them." Stated Minerva with an air of haughty annoyance. 

Severus was about to respond, but Granger had leaned over then and addressed her former Head of House. "They will do that with bans as well, but it will be far easier to trace if there are a record of ingredients being purchased, you can weed the other out." 

Severus peered at her, "it was interesting that she would have that same opinion. Few did with all the nonsense coming out about the potions and whatnot.

"You disagree?" she asked him tartly.

"No. Just shocked you have produced such a specific conclusion." It was said with a tight air, thank god, or it could have been misconstrued as a compliment. 

Charlie's eyebrows popped up. 

Granger rolled her eyes at Snape and turned to back to Charlie.

That comment hit him in the chest hard, he shouldn't have said it. Even after the Weasley twat talking about him to her before. Severus had bit his tongue, partially because he didn't wish to cause a scene and also because deep down, he knew that it was true. At the very least concerning her, always trying to say something, to get her going. When he turned back to McGonagall, she was giving him a thoughtful look. He ignored it and turned to the match that was about to begin. 

At intermission Severus went down to get a cup of coffee for himself and Minerva, when he reached the queue, of course, he ended up right next to Granger. Fate was playing a cruel trick on the two of them. She hadn't really noticed that he was there as her nose was stuck in the book she was reading. Severus decided that if it were possible to ignore her they might get away from this encounter none the wiser. Still, it was strange that she looked… well, he was intrigued. Her cheeks were stained a bit pink from the cold, and she wore a thick navy knit jumper, the sleeves pulled mostly over her hands so she could hold the book without them getting cold. Curls kept falling into her face, and she would brush them behind her ear as if it were second nature to do so; like it was as normal as breathing. 

He shook himself and tried to go back to his reading. Unfortunately, he had only reached the end of the page when he heard her voice say ' _ shit _ ' very softly. 

He tore his eyes from the book to see her face, she was looking at the cover of his novel with incredulous eyes. "What is it?" he finally said. 

Her eyes snapped up to his, "I just didn't expect you to read muggle fiction." 

"Why is that? Do enlighten me," he looked back at his book, hoping she would sense his bored tone and not dignify it with an answer. He had no such luck, it seemed. He was supposed to have this legendary control, and yet with her, he always took the bloody bait.

"I figured it was beneath you is all," she made a little sniff at the end, Hermione knew it was indignant, but she couldn't seem to care or to stop herself, she even added another blow at the end, "I figured it would always be Dickens or something  _ classic _ ." She made air quotes around the word classic.

Anger burned in his chest, how dare she just assume. "And what is wrong with classics? I assumed you were the type to be all over Austen and Bronte." Folding arms across his chest he looked smug.

To that she sputtered a bit, looking every bit as outraged as Severus had hoped she would. "There is nothing wrong with classics, I was simply-"

"What? Aren't able to recite them back verbatim, no actually I am sure that you can, just no one wants to listen." Severus flipped a hand toward the stands, "maybe Weasley will listen, he does seem the Bingley type doesn't he?" 

Hermione almost didn't catch his Pride and Prejudice reference. Before she could retort back, they were at the front of the line, and he was ordering. How could he just say things like that? As if it didn't matter at all, as if people were made of stone. Then her heart sunk with the knowledge that she had been just as callus to him only minutes before. They were going in circles both of them. Neither wishing to relent, but by the look in his eye, he too hated himself for it. 

Turning the corner of the stall with her coffee, Hermione ran straight into Snape. Her coffee and his being crushed between them. The nearly boiling hot liquid overflowing onto the both of them. Snape hissed and swore. Hermione made a sound somewhere between a squeak and a groan of pain. 

It a quick wand movement Snape banished the liquid, dried and cooled their skin where it had been touched. It was impressive magic, and Hermione found her mouth hanging open in gawk. Fuck, that had been sexy, damn it all. She was so confused about how she felt.

"Thank-" she started to mutter, but before the words were out Snape cut her off. 

"Always you. Why do you make me feel so enraged and, and-!? All I want is peace, and yet you bumble about with that incredible unruly hair and those fucking passionate opinions. I am supposed to be waiting to find out if there is something between myself and-" 

He didn't get to finish, Hermione had inched closer, and he had closed the distance as soon as he saw the look in her eyes. Their lips came together hard and fast. Snape turned, and Hermione's back was against the wall, his mouth covering hers, drawing her tongue out and into his own mouth. One hand came up, burying itself in her curls, tilting her head so he could better devour her mouth. Her own arms wound around his shoulders, dragging herself closer to him. Blood was pounding in her ears, and there was the tight, taut thrumming low in her gut, increasing when Snape pressed his hand, not occupied, to the space next to her head on the wall. It allowed the hard planes of his body to push firmer against hers. 

The kiss was going to make her lips sore and bruised, she could feel it, but it was exactly what she needed. Explosive and heated. Hermione's hands travelled up to the back of his head, her nails scratching over the short hair there. The sound of his groan was muffled by her hot mouth; the feeling of it reverberated down her throat, into her belly. There was something so achingly familiar about this kiss, about this man, but different, more intense. The taste and feel of him, overpowering and sensual.

Then it all stopped. Snape yanked himself away from her, his breathing was hard, and he looked utterly gutted. Like he had made the biggest mistake ever. Like he now felt something that couldn't be returned, or taken back. It was a look that said Snape had ruined something, that he had done something completely unforgivable. If it hadn't been for that look, she might have stayed, but Hermione just couldn't grabbing her bag from where it had fallen, Hermione walked swiftly away. 

…

When she got back, they were all getting up and stretching, she was grateful for their distraction to still her shaking hands. The Harpies had won, and that was enough for the assembled group to be decently content with all of it. 

"Pub?" Asked George as normally as ever. Hermione had to remind herself that his world had not just been spun on its axis. 

Instead of heading off to the pub, Hermione decided to take the portkey and apparate from the Burrow. She just wasn't in the mood. 

When she got home Hermione didn't even feel like messaging SP60, she was too stuck in her own nonsense, debating with herself at to if she was actually the person she thought she was at all. Finally, after necking a cup of tea, she did. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Do you ever find that you say things in the moment and regret them? Well, that was most of my day in a nutshell. Sometimes I just was to use a TimeTurner, go back and put a hand over my mouth before I say anything stupid. It just wasn't right, no matter what they said to me for me to be so hostile back. When that happens, I don't even really feel like myself.  _

_ Sorry, just needed to get that out. xx. _

…

Severus kicked the door shut behind him, just lightly being careful not to disturb the neighbours. A bag full of shopping was in his arms, these were the moments he was grieved that he must live in a muggle neighbourhood. It would be so much easier to levitate the bags in or shrink them. He knew much of his irritation was from the encounter with Granger. That ' _ what the fuck'  _ moment of a kiss and her words to him. 

Severus had foregone the pub even with Minerva's begging, he needed to be alone. It wasn't as if the woman had really hurt his feelings with any of it. Or perhaps she had, and Snape was softer than he thought, but it was more that he knew these things about himself. Even as a child, Severus had been dour and over-serious. It was most likely product of living in a circumstance where you didn't know when your next beating was coming. That trend continued much to his chagrin even after his parents died. Fists were traded for Unforgivables and dark curses. That doesn't generally a cheery person make. 

Not only was it a product of his environment, but indeed who he was. Severus Snape couldn't make light-hearted jokes, not regularly, sarcasm yes, oh he could do that. He had done that to Granger for years in school, taunting and teasing her meanly for her looks including other things. Becoming the bully that he had known himself whilst in school. It was pathetic. Stress or no, he shouldn't have done it. Snape had apologised to all of his students he could or felt the need to. Including both Potter and the Weasley. Well, they weren't all that bad, to begin with, and he was due to say he was sorry. He had meant to say it to Granger as well those few years ago at Minerva's birthday, but they had argued first. At that point, he was too proud. Still, he had treated her appallingly, not only in school but since and she him.

With a frustrated flick of the hand, the shopping was put away. Going to the drinks cabinet, Severus poured himself two fingers of fire whiskey and sat in his leather armchair. The really ridiculous thing was that he found her intelligent and beautiful, oh yes. Yet, his pride could not let all of it go if she did not. 

He shot back the rest of the liquid and pulled his laptop from the table next to his chair. Eyebrows were in his hairline when he saw what she had messaged. It was interesting how the world coincided like this something twisted in his gut.

SP60:  _ I find it interesting, you say that, as I was in a similar position earlier as well. In your case, I believe that it sounds as if you were defending yourself. I, on the other hand, just cannot seem to take the high ground or to really even be civil at times. I could say that it was a product of my past, but that isn't exactly an excuse, is it? The answer is no. It may have influenced me, but I should not let it control me. Not anymore.  _

Just as he sent it, Severus saw a few moments later the little pending text icon. 

BookGirl984:  _ I understand, the past tries to define how our future is even if we don't fully see it. In my case, that deals very directly with this person. They seem to know exactly how to push my buttons, and then I take the bait, even though I know. I insult then and leave the situation feeling grimy about myself. Especially when I insult things that are sometimes very like me. My dad once said that we hate in others what we most dislike about ourselves. Never before has that seemed so accurate to me.  _

SP60:  _ Your father sounds like an intelligent man. I find interacting with others very hard. Still, despite everything in my life, from this person, it really does get to me. Usually, it is easy enough to brush off, but not from them.  _

_ Can I tell you something? _

Severus waited for the message in return, he really hadn't mentioned this to anyone outside of Minerva and the bartender at the pub. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Of course, any time of day, whenever you would like to.  _

Severus felt his heartbeat fast at those words, and he felt another wave of guilt for that kiss. Did BookGirl realise what that means to someone like him? Would she still mean it when they met if they ever met? 

SP60: _ I am writing a novel. _

_ There I wrote that, and it was surprisingly more natural to write than I thought it would be. I am writing a novel, and I am terrified for anyone to find out. The bartender that I know near my home (no, I am not an alcoholic. It's a quiet place to write is all) knows because she always asks what I am scribbling or typing about. Anyone in my personal life has absolutely no idea.  _

Send. 

BookGirl1984:  _ Well, it sounds as if you are worried about failing, and let me tell you I think that is ridiculous. Often times I sit down at this laptop and feel inadequate when writing back to you, my words are not prose, but I have always thought yours seemed to feel that way. There is a subtle complexity to your word choice, and it would make for a beautiful novel. I should know I am BookGirl ;).  _

_ I ask because I am interested, but if you feel that it is too much I will not be offended, should you not wish to tell me. What are you writing about? Yes, of course I mean the genre and such, but what do you want to share with the world? To me, that is some of the most essential bits of reading, what the writer can give me, that can be a variety of things. Again, should you wish to keep it to yourself I will not hold it against you.  _

This witch. He needed to know her, Severus felt warm just at the thought of what she had said to him and began to plunk out the plot along with the themes that he wished to express with his writing. The question she had posed was one that he had never honestly heard before, and it made him so utterly happy. To know that he wasn't the only one that read between the lines, that thought writing between the lines was necessary and perfect. Could this woman even be real, he wondered. For the first time, it did not feel like pulling teeth to tell her about his story. It felt familiar, and he wanted to share it. Despite not knowing her, he felt that he did, better than perhaps anyone else. This knowledge should not have had his mind drifting to Hermione Granger and her body against his. Yet, there he was. In his mind, lips pressed against hers. In his heart apologising for every unkind word, he had said to her. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH, this is nerve-wracking and I hope you all enjoy. EEEK.   
XOXO!

They had a date. Finally, after all this time, Hermione was going to actually see SP60, the thought sent a simultaneous thrill and shot of fear straight through her. The two of them had been conversing for almost two months, and she supposed that it was time. Though that didn't quell the worry in her mind.  _ Would he be put off that she was a member of the golden trio? What if he had a dislike for curly hair? What if he wasn't at all how she imagined him? _ Then there was the little bit of her subconscious that just couldn't get over that kiss. Severus Snape had just swooped in and took up part of the brain space that she was meant to be devoting to SP60. Now they seemed all jumbled up and mushed together in her head. It was disconcerting at the least, downright confusing at best. Those thoughts were all there as she tried to pick something out to wear. 

They were going to a newer restaurant in Soho, if things went well, he had another place in mind, or so he had said. Ginny had been called in to help pick out an outfit a few days ago, but Hermione was just then realising that her friend was very good at picking out fancy dress outfits, but on an average day, or date she and Ginny had very different styles. The two of them just didn't wear the same things. Which was fine, Ginny got away with this sort of 'sporty girl cleans up nice with a touch of sparkle'... or something. Hermione was far more, 'librarian, minus the glasses add comfort'. So back to the drawing board, apparently.

Breathing in deeply, Hermione pulled on her favourite pair of jeans. A very nice dark denim pair with a high waist and back pockets that did a solid to her arse. The place was pretty casual from the research she had done online, so denims would be just fine. On top, she pulled on a long sleeve black v neck. Over that, a chunky charcoal jumper, that she tucked in only slightly to allow those jeans to shine. It was understated, hopefully, showed that she wasn't trying too hard. Black ankle boots and a dark overcoat, it was bloody cold already, and layers were a necessity. Taking a couple of spells to her hair, she was able to charm it to lay nicely against her shoulders and back, giving herself a once over she smiled and headed for the door. It was now or never. 

…

_ Had he told her the wrong restaurant? Would she like this sort of thing? _ Severus checked his watch and exhaled, it was still early. Damn him for being so nervous. He had done far more nerve-wracking things to this. Yet, here he sat nearly quaking in his boots at the thought of meeting a woman. 

The restaurant was a new place that he had come to like, it had a modern look and feel, but the food was exceptional. It was also easy to go unnoticed as the booths and tables were set up in such a way that it gave lots of space. Still, the newness of it was something that Severus worried about.  _ Would she think he was trying too hard to be young? _ That wasn't his intention, and the idea that it could look that way hadn't even crossed Snape's mind until he was sat at the table looking over the wine menu. Forcing himself to breathe normally, Severus signalled a waiter over and ordered a bottle of Chardonnay, it was her favourite, so she said and didn't care what drink it was. Severus just needed some damn alcohol. He had arrived early to get every setup. The wine at the table and a book in front of his face before she got there. SP60 was meant to be reading a copy of A Tale of Two Cities, and she would be holding a copy of 1984, naturally. It was trite, truly but it did add a particular something even a grouchy Potions Master could appreciate. He had also requested a table in the corner by the far window. Taking up the novel, his eyes seeing the words but not reading them. Taking a long sip of wine, it was time to wait. 

…

Hermione's hands shook as she pulled the handle to the door. It was not from the cold, but the feeling of apprehension and excitement all rolling around in her lower belly.  _ Oh, what was going to happen? _ The waitress at the door didn't bother Hermione as she noticed her roving eyes. Clearly, Hermione was there to meet someone else, and they already had a table; clearly, the waitress had better things to do. Hermione could see the floor plan of the place consisted of small nooks and crannies that would be good for quiet conversation. SP had been thinking, hadn't he? It took a moment, but she spotted black-clad shoulders in the corner and a copy of Dickens covering his face. Right then. It was time. Stomach in knots and heartbeat pounding in her ears she stepped up to the table. 

Hermione stopped just near the edge and murmured in a voice far more shy and quiet than she had intended, "SP60"?"

Slowly or maybe not, perhaps it just so agonisingly delayed at the time, he drew the book away to reveal a face she knew. The one she had been picturing in her head longer than Hermione cared to admit. The face of Severus Snape. 

_ Oh, holy Jesus.  _

…

Severus knew she was standing there, but pretended not to. He had not looked yet, of course. Nerves were getting the better of him, which wasn't exactly a regular occurrence. When she spoke in that tiny unsure voice, well hadn't a clue what to do. All the reasons why no one would ever actually want him seemed to bubble up the surface. The rejections and heartache... Breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth Severus revealed his face to her, only to end up being shocked himself. He had created something in his mind. This idea of a person that he had completely disregarded any of the signs. They had been there the whole time, and he felt a proper idiot. 

Before him stood Hermione Granger, pulling her lip between her teeth and looking back at him with the same big brown eyes that had so enchanted him through the mask on Halloween. 

To his embarrassment, Severus released a " _ fuck _ ." Very quietly. 

His eyes must have been the size of saucers. 

She was dancing a bit from foot to foot, and he didn't quite know what to do. At the very least, they needed to talk about this because they could not merely go on and disregard that this had happened… the things they had said to one another. Honestly, his heart felt like it had a weight attached.

Hermione was thinking on a similar vein, her mind whirring with the thoughts plaguing her. ' _ Oh my god. You told Snape you had a wank over him _ .' Internally her eyes bulged, ' _ you had DID have a wank over him! _ ' She gapped.

Hermione's heart shattered then as the reality of it all crashed down. Severus Snape did not want her. He may be SP60, but she would forever be to him the ridiculous Know It All.

"Please, uh, sit." Snape was finally able to muster.

Hermione did as she was bid, though somewhat mechanically. Her heart was stuttering, remembering the kiss, both of them she realised now. 

Just as she was about to sit down a bit of lightning flashed outside. Lighting up the window next to them with bright white light then dissipating. Hermione squealed, startled at the interruption. Shutting her eyes for just a moment, she prepared herself for a sarcastic quip from the man across from her.

Severus knew all too well the way it felt to be alarmed by something that brought back memories. Reverting back to images of the past, ones where the sound or sight wasn't something so innocent as lightning. 

He had been through war as well, and he would not mock her for that "It's alright. Unfortunately, natural elements can seem so like spell." His eyes went to his plate, avoiding hers.

Hermione was surprised at first that he had understood her reaction.  _ Well of course he had _ , she thought to herself. So Hermione just nodded in response to what he had stated.  _ Now, what to do? Bloody hell _ . How had she been daft enough to not realise what had been right in front of her? Of course, it was Snape, those dark eyes. Yeah, the hair cut, but she had noticed that at the book sale, honestly, Hermione was a little disappointed in herself. This was simply ridiculous. So distracted by her thoughts she was, Hermione had unconsciously begun to drum her fingers on the copy of 1984.

"Wine?" Asked Snape after a moment.

"What?" Hermione looked up abruptly. 

He gestured to the glass that had been sitting there, waiting for her. Well, waiting for BookGirl, that is. Hermione took up the glass and drank a deep gulp from it, it was light. A perfect mix of sweet and dry. Hints of apricot and perhaps pear as well. It was delicious, the balance of acidity and the rich, honeyed flavour was exceptional.

"This is good." The words came out almost without her consent. As it was, she was caught somewhere between Hermione Granger and BookGirl1984. 

Snape gave a nod, "a skill gained from potions work I suppose. I can pick out a decent wine. The size of my nose cannot be unhelpful either." It was said dryly. 

To that, Hermione gave a little laugh, it was nervous and breathy, but genuine. 

Both of Snape's eyebrows popped up at this reaction. His eyes seemed to display his pleasure at having made her laugh. 

"I am sure it has many uses." Another slip of the tongue, Hermione remembered Lavender sodding Brown telling her once at the end of sixth year that Professor Snape's nose would be great for… multi-tasking. At this unbidden recollection, Hermione blushed up to the roots of her hair. Which was no doubt about it, giving away her meaning behind that statement. 

Again, with the eyebrows, eyes flaring with something that looked very much like desire. Before Snape sobered, clearing his throat and looking past her. "Right. Well, it is obvious that this was not what either of us wanted or expected."

Something inside of Hermione wilted a bit at that statement, _did she not want this?_ _He was still SP60, he still said all those things, danced with her, kissed her! There had been that night at the hotel too… he had been kind and... oh, god! Charlie at Ginny's match. _

"..." to her irritation, Hermione opened her mouth, and no words came out. Caught somewhere between anger, apologies and obvious, undeniable sex appeal.

Severus held up a hand, "there is no need. I understand, and I will leave you to enjoy the wine and your book as well." Something like a massive invisible anvil was sat on his chest, as Severus stood to pull on his coat. "The food really is good." Avoiding her gaze, he couldn't let her see how disappointed he was. Truth be told, she was just was BookGirl had been. It just hadn't t clicked, all the things he loved about BookGirl he had ridiculed in Hermione.  _ She isn't stiff, or un-analytical. No, not at all.  _ None of that recognition mattered at this point, Snape had been horrible to her. They hated one another... When he had kissed her, it had been fueled by anger and frustration. Now that he was being candid with himself, it had also been, passion and desire. So much more than that. Once again, his words had removed the option of ever seeing what could have been. Just like Lily. 

Before he could get too far past the table, Granger caught his arm, and the skin where she touched him warmed from her tiny hand. "Stay, please?" Swallowing she looked at him, "at least we can get some of the _ good _ food, and… talk." 

_ Talk… about what?  _ How disgusted she must think herself knowing it was her old greasy potions professor that she had been telling about wanking. That she had let him kiss her. ' _ She kissed you back',  _ a voice in his head whispered. Severus paused, looking toward the exit, it would be so easy to leave and never think about this again. Avoid Order get-togethers, try and steer clear of her in the Ministry. Her hand was still on his arm, warm, then he felt her move her fingers… just a little. Enough that it felt like a caress against his skin. No, that was wrong. It couldn't be. 

Hermione gave him a warm smile. "It seems that we might have a lot to talk about." Oh, there now, her mouth was working again. 

Pausing at the edge of the table, he hadn't yet shaken off her touch, he simply stepped away from it, sitting down in the seat that he had only recently vacated. To Severus's immense surprise when he sat, Hermione Granger chuckled, and then she full-on laughed. 

_ No.  _ This was a terrible idea. How on earth had he thought that it was a good idea? To trust the girl, she was going to ridicule him and more, Merlin knows he was not going to be made a fool of. 

She must have seen the change in his face, even before he had stood because her hand darted out and caught his over the table, shaking her head. "No… laughing at- you." She said through her giggles. "Its…" 

Severus looked on impassive now at her antics, waiting. 

Composed for the most part except for reddened cheeks she spoke, "it's just that the whole idea of this is mad, isn't it?" 

This made him think about it. Yes, it was mad. 

"I cannot believe that I didn't notice, I see you with your haircut the day after the fancy dress. The Ministry convention. Well, and that voice." After the last words slipped out of her mouth, Hermione looked up. Almost as if she hadn't meant to say that exact thing, it was meant for her mind only. 

"My voice?" Snape couldn't help but question that, reaching out, he took up the glass and sipped. 

Heat rose to Hermione's cheeks, she looked away, clearing her throat, "it is a very nice voice." 

He scoffed, "I would think it might send you into a state of PTSD. Back to the Hogwarts days."

She only shook her head, looking at the table. If he only knew what state that voice could put her in. 

"It is all something of a coincidence, I must say." More was meant to be said, but the waiter had just appeared. Neither of them had really looked over the menu for long. He was a creature of habit, and it was enjoyable to watch her look over it very quickly, hair falling in her face and her bottom lip caught between her teeth. 

Severus went first to give her time, ordering a citrus salmon salad that he really loved, he had found, to his own shock. 

"I'll have the same," Hermione had been eyeing that, and when he said it, she knew that it would have to be satisfactory for him to order it. Severus Snape was nothing if he was not meticulous, and perhaps picky. 

"This whole," he waved a hand in a vague motion, "situation reminds me of that Meg Ryan, Tom Hanks film… what is it?" His brows drew together in thought for a moment, but she finished. 

"You've Got Mail." She completed, wide-eyed. 

"The one." 

"You've seen that film?" Her whiskey eyes betrayed surprise. 

Severus raised an eyebrow, "yes, I do not actually live under a rock." 

"Yes, I know that." Hermione chewed her lip. "Speaking of which I need to apologise for my behaviour at the match I-"

He cut her off, raising his hand for her to stop. "We have both said things that we do not think we should have, I think that it is enough to know that we find them to be unsavoury, yes?" His tone softened, "I know I do."

She nodded a bit begrudgingly. "Still I shouldn't- that was so rude, especially when-" 

"10 points from Gryffindor Miss Granger," he smirked a bit, or was it a smile? Severus found that he didn't care how it came across. "Now, BookGirl…" He pinned her with those dark, almost black eyes. "What is your favourite book? Actually," he stopped himself knowing as a bibliophile himself that it was an impossible question to ask someone. "Let's go by genre." 

Hermione laughed out loud in response, especially at the casual way he was sitting, leaned back a bit as if he were ready to hear the best story she could ever tell him. 

"I am going to guess it isn't 1984." Another cheeky smile, well then, they had already talked about many books, but he had never asked this question directly since they first started talking back and forth. 

...

Hermione was laughing so hard that her sides hurt. They were walking home after dinner and Hermione had never known it, but Severus lived in the building just across from hers. There was a busy street to keep them away from each other, but she was finding that it wasn’t wholly unpleasant to think of him like this. Actually, now that she knew, he was every bit the Raven she had seen that night on Halloween. He had made her laugh, and laugh hard a few times, then insisted that what he said wasn’t funny at all. Actually, he wasn't prideful at all, but sort of self-deprecating and witty. 

“You have this dark, deadpan quip you can't have not noticed!” She bit her lip and hugged her coat more tightly around her. “There were even times that I almost laughed in your classes.” 

The lines that pronounced his frown deepened, and he narrowed his eyes, “no.” 

“Yes! You were so quick, even the ones that thought they were clever couldn’t keep up with you.” It seemed as if she wanted to say more. 

“Is that speaking of yourself?” Severus wanted to slap a hand to his forehead when he said that. Their casual stroll had just turned into a trip down memory lane, that was not what he wanted. 

“It’s alright,” but she chewed her bottom lip again. 

The sight of it made his heart pound so hard Severus worried she would be able to hear it. 

“I don’t think myself clever, I know that I am intelligent, or at the very least I can read and memorise what it is I am taking in…” This she trailed off. 

Severus knew he needed to say something, but they were at a crossroads, literally. He needed more time. “Do you want to come up? For a nightcap, I mean?” She hesitated, and this was where Severus suspected he would be (what's the phrase?) let down easy. 

“I would, really, but I told Gin that we would do some shopping in the morning we both wanted to get our Christmas shopping out of the way a bit early.” 

It was November 20th, and Severus was now sure that he was being let down very, very easy. For her credit, she did look apologetic, and Severus felt his chest tighten, it wasn’t this evening not moving forward that had him feeling this way. It was the fact that he would no doubt be losing his BookGirl. Just as Severus suspected, this never had any real hope of working. So he nodded, did what he had done most of his life and accepted the ill issued fate that was slung his way. 

“Well, goodnight…” he paused, they had sort of avoided using titles that evening, but he was about to possibly make a social faux pas anyway. “Hermione.” He leaned down and gave her a small peck on the cheek. Just a quick one, just to feel her skin against his lips, BookGirl. All he wanted was to drag her against him and plunder her mouth. Severus wouldn't though, he couldn't do something she might find so grotesque. Pulling away, Severus avoided her eyes, gave a nod and turned toward his flat. 

“Goodnight,” he heard her call. 

_ Did it sound desperate?  _

“Profe-”

“Severus,” he said over his shoulder and trudged the rest of the way into his building. "Call me, Severus." 

Once inside, Severus avoided his laptop like the plague, went about pouring himself his own nightcap, more firewhiskey than he had ingested in awhile. Downing it in one go, he shook his head. It wasn’t as if this was a surprise to him, this was a common occurrence for Severus Snape. Nothing to bother with really. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you I wouldn't make you wait too long! haha <3  
XOXO!

"Online man is Snape?" Ginny's eyes conveniently bugged, in a way that had Hermione narrowing hers. 

They sat in a little cafe, where often they got breakfast. It was a very chilly day, and the hot, rich coffee and quiet lull of customers bustling in and out were enough to make Hermione snuggle a bit further into her chunky jumper. Cupping the warm mug, she felt it would have been a great idea to have worn a thicker pair of leggings. It was entirely icy out.

"Did you know?" Hermione asked in a hushed tone, but with all the scepticism, she felt apparent in her voice. Glancing around to see if anyone else had heard them talking. 

"I had a suspicion after the fancy dress," the redhead said slowly, "I wasn't sure so don't give me that look. Besides, you needed to do that to see that you and he are actually super compatible." Ginny sat back casually, seemingly very impressed with herself. 

"Well, I don't know if that's true." 

Ginny didn't miss a beat, "it is. Also, Harry definitely knew..." 

To this Hermione pouted, looking sulkily out the window. "Well, it doesn't really matter anymore, anyhow." Hermione knew that she was being a tad dramatic, but  _ damn it _ she didn't care. "He pretty much gave me a pat on the back when he left for his flat." 

"I thought you said he asked you up?" This was uttered through a large bite of stuffed french toast, accompanied by a moan of pure culinary pleasure. 

"For a nightcap, but I couldn't… you know I'm weird about my sleep, and it was late…" she finished lamely. 

"You were nervous," Gin supplied. 

Hermione rolled her eyes but nodded. "He gave me a kiss on the cheek, and well… after that other kiss, It just-it felt like a cursory gesture. One you would give a distant younger relative." 

Scrunching her face up, Ginny watched Hermione running her index finger around the rim of the coffee cup. "Are you sure that's what it was like?" 

"Yes! I think his asking me up for a drink was just a way to make the end of the evening not awkward… I mean we talked about some  _ things,"  _ Hermione raised eyebrows in procession to show her meaning. "...before we knew who we really were." Hermione sighed again rubbing her temples an ache was starting to settle there. "I just think it was a gesture of goodwill, not an invitation to jump him." 

Ginny didn't look satisfied by that, and really Hermione felt the same even if she was trying to ignore it. 

"Do you want to?"

"What?"

" _ Jump him _ ," emphasis made by the ginger widening her eyes. 

Hermione grimaced, she did, but this was a strange conversation to be having and fruitless to boot. 

"You do, I can see it! And I bet he wants to get into your knickers so bad he can hardly stand it." 

Hermione didn't think that was exactly true, but it wasn't as if she could find out right then. She had stuffed her laptop into her desk drawer, even the look of it had her feeling melancholy. At the sudden thought of not going home and having SP60 to talk with her heart hurt. What was even up with that name? 

_ Prince _ .  _ Oh, right then, gotcha Mr Snape, you clever, clever bastard.  _

…

It always felt as though a day shopping with Ginny had actually been a week-long affair. It was just so much extroverting, Hermione nearly felt like she was going to fall over when she was finally walking the short distance from her apparation point to her flat. On top of her feeling exhausted, it was also very, very cold. Her jumper and jeans had another layer of coat and massive scarf on top. As well as a warming charm and she was still shivering. When she got to her building, her fingers were so cold that it was hard to get the muggle keys in her hand to cooperate.  _ Damn muggle keys _ . Hermione had to use them on the outside door of the building as it was a muggle neighbourhood. 

"Need any assistance?" Severus had been lurking just nearby on his way to see a film when he spotted her there, nearly vibrating from the chill. It had been a struggle to decide if he should leave the scene unannounced or help. Her face turned to him, at first fuming, but then it softened when she saw who it was, much to his surprise. 

"Warm-ming ccharm not d-doing the ttrick." She shivered an explanation if a bit slowly. 

He inclined his head in understanding and took the keys from her hand, pressing them into the lock, and the door opened. 

"Ttthanks." Another little full-body shiver. 

She looked so tired and a bit like a marshmallow with all her layers, but the light of the street lamps and the blush that stained her cheeks, what was visible of them, made Severus remember how lovely she was. "Nightcap?" Hermione asked him. He wasn't able to see her lips as they were mostly buried in the scarf, but he was sure she was smirking cheekily at him. 

Severus checked his watch, he wasn't going to miss the film if he did, and he didn't want her to ask him just because she thought she should. He hesitated. 

"You don't have to," she had darted just inside the door to warm up a bit, "if you are busy, I understand." 

Was that disappointment in her voice? It was, he could tell from the sad look in her eyes. It made Snape's heart pound. 

"The film will keep," he found himself saying. 

A smile crinkled her eyes, and a jerk of the head had him following her up the stairs. What exactly he was doing Snape didn't really know. It was a strange thing… diving in, but he was going to do it. If he didn't at least try, he knew there would be regret. Severus already had enough of that to last a lifetime.

The flat was clean and tidy, not so structured and controlled as his own, but he supposed that was normal. Severus rarely had anyone at his unit, and his nature was meticulous to a fault. The walls were a pale yellow with white trim and were, of course, bracing up bookshelves. Under the broad window ledge, smaller bookshelves had been placed. It seemed made with cushions into some kind of window seat. The plush carpet and soft furnishings gave the room a cosy, homey feeling. 

"Right then," Hermione had come back into the room, though Severus wasn't exactly sure when she had left to begin with. "What will it be? I have a selection and yes I do mean a  _ selection  _ of white wine... many. A red blend and some fire whiskey. I also have a few beers, but if I remember correctly, that is not SP60's beverage of choice." A blush tinted her cheeks from the comment she let slip referring to his online persona.

"The red is fine." He gave a nod of thanks when Hermione returned with his glass and her own. 

"Oh! Sorry, I didn't even get your coat, here," she reached for it and took the heavy outer coat along with his scarf, all while lighting a fire in the grate wandlessly. "Have a seat, I need to enlarge these shopping bags and throw on some trousers that aren't soaked through." She smiled at him, sheepishly and disappeared. 

God, well it was settled that she was beautiful, just as he had thought BookGirl to be. Hermione Granger and her long chestnut waves, chocolate eyes, and just that tiny oh so light smattering of freckles across her nose.  _ Lovely. _ He was pondering this when she returned, now wearing a pair of pastel pink sweatpants, they looked very soft. 

Another sheepish smile, "not the most dignified outfit, but I couldn't help myself." 

That must be part of it, she thought of him as stuffy. "Wear whatever you prefer, doesn't bother me in the slightest, in fact," he was going to prove that he wasn't so arsey as he had acted. "If you don't mind, I am going to take off another layer."

"Please," she murmured and seemed to try and hide the look of longing in her eyes.  _ Hmm _ .

Banishing the frock coat as well to the rack, where she had placed the others, Severus settled back into the sofa. "I wanted to clarify something to you." 

Hermione swallowed, wondering if this would be when he said he wasn't interested in her now that he knew it was, well her, and not BookGirl. 

"I do not think you memorise things and then just quote them back verbatim, I laboured under the assumption that you were the same mind that sat in my classes all those years ago. When in fact, I should be a prime example of someone who should see that people change and it can be drastic as well. It seems that I never took the time to actually find out for myself." 

Hermione was staring back at him, a bit slack-jawed really. 

"When we were conversing, well, I found your mind to be one of the most interesting and analytical I had interacted with in a very long time." He sighed and took a long drink, "I wanted you to know that." Then he looked down at the coffee table.

Nibbling her bottom lip, Hermione tried to think of what she could say. "Thank you. You didn't have to say all that, I have said some terrible things, mostly out of anger. Very often, untrue." 

"Please, let us forget that part? If that would be amenable to you?"

"Very much so!"

Severus nodded, and a soft, warm feeling crept into his chest, maybe this wasn't all lost.

...

The tension as they talked was about to indeed consume Hermione. They had switched over to tea, neither of them wishing to lose their inhibitions, to be honest, she was still kind of waiting for the ball to drop. For the wanker version of Sna-Severus, to come and rear his ugly head.  _ Like surprise girl, this is actually just a Polyjuice joke, and George has been acting the part of a kind, Snape, very very well. _ She almost snorted aloud thinking of George trying to hold it together long enough, and of the word, kind being associated with the man in front of her. 

They were talking well into the evening, it seemed they should have had nothing to talk about because of the time spent only messaging back and forth for the past months, but actually it seemed there was a vast and endless array of things that the two of them could talk about and would find interesting. It was strange, and Hermione was very confident now that Severus Snape, who she had pegged to be unemotional and sullen, was actually passionate and engaging when he wanted to be. At this moment she was grateful it was her on the receiving end of that. He bloody well wanted to hear about her work at the Ministry, no one ever wanted to hear about that. On top of that, Severus didn't think it was all stupid or that it was a waste, he really had things to say about it, had rebuttals to her arguments. It was delightful. 

Then there was the matter of his lips. The ones Hermione now knew had been pressed against hers that night at the Ministry Halloween ball. Of course, the Quidditch match as well. Severus's lips moving around the words he said. Freezing mid-speech as he prolonged a particular phrase or was looking for a word that better suited what he was meant to be describing. Hermione resigned herself to now being acutely aware that she wanted to kiss him again. Not only that, but she wanted to know how much further than kissing Severus Snape would take it and if he did what he would be like in the bedroom department. I mean she was a woman, it had been a very long time, and if the kiss was anything to go off of, it was going to be… well, no need to jinx anything. 

"Do I have something on my mouth?" 

Hermione's eyes snapped up to his then, and she knew there was a guilty look there, not to mention a blush that she could feel heat her cheeks. "No… I uh, no. I think I must be getting a bit tired. Sorry," she gave him a sheepish smile.  _ Well, I am feeling ready for bed, that part is correct. _

"I don't want to keep you then," he smiled at her, and perhaps she caught a bit of yearning there as well, though she couldn't be sure. "I will leave you to get to bed." He swept up off the sofa so fast that really there was no way for her to stop him. 

Following him, to the door, Hermione knew she could take the power into her hands and tell him she wanted him to stay, but what if she got it wrong? Or stepped out of line? It felt like too big a risk. 

He turned at the door. Hermione caught her breath, his eyes were so dark, staring down at her. Her insides were churning and between her legs was aching at the mere utilisation of that look. If Severus could do that what could he do inside of her?

"I've had a wonderful evening," Severus stated in a rather abrupt manner. Hermione had come to learn that it was just his way of speaking. 

Her reply came out far more breathless than she wanted it to, "so did I." 

Pausing, no doubt because she must sound wanton, Severus leaned in watching her eyes for any indication that he should stop. Lips meeting, Hermione let her eyes fall closed and went entirely willingly against his body when he pulled her to him. The smell of him wafted over her. Even as she reached her hands up to to the back of Severus's neck, holding him in place. It was a comforting smell, soap, something sharper a herb maybe, but the scent that seemed to be him. That encompassed his person was a warm and heady amber scent. Coupled with his lips against hers, his tongue sliding between her lips. Sucking at her and tasting her, Hermione could not hold back the moan that sprang from her. 

Severus swallowed it and moved to trade places with her, pressing her back against the door, his knee between her thighs. 

Severus realised that he wasn't breathing and had to force himself away from her lips. Though he was hard-pressed to do so. He didn't want to, even a little bit. Thus allowing his lips instead to travel down her jaw and neck, Hermione tasted like body wash, something fruity like apricot or peach. He had found the idea for a long time of fruit scents to be something juvenile, he had been wrong. It was light and sweet and  _ bloody fucking merlin _ it was intoxicating. All he wanted was to devour her in all senses of the word that could possibly be imagined. It seemed that's what she wanted as well, by the way, she clung to him. Severus had made a rule with himself not to ever be in a compromising position with an ex-student, but really was it that important of a rule? He had already said fuck it when he didn't know who Bookgirl was. 

His pause was noticed, and Hermione pulled her head back to look at him. "Did I-"

"No," he murmured and threaded his fingers in her hair, pulling her toward his mouth once again.  _ God but she tasted good, really. _

It always seemed like a load of tripe whenever he heard something so cliche, but really she did. It was a taste that was utterly her, only slightly tinged by the flavour of alcohol on her lips. Intoxicating, this whole bloody woman, her scent, her taste, and the feel of her. Severus wanted to grind his teeth in pleasured agony as his hands smoothed down from her riotous hair over the flesh of her sides and arse. He cupped it, and gave a hearty squeeze, to this, he received a muffled noise of pleasure, then a sigh.

Finally, she broke away from him panting. Severus was almost worried until he could easily see the look in her eyes that mirrored his own. "Should we take this to my bedroom?" 

Nodding he allowed her to take his hand and lead him to the room, but as they went, he remembered her messages, what she wanted. He could give her that. Stopping before they reached the apparent door to her room, he again pressed her back into the wall and claimed her lips. Pulling her up to wrap her legs around his waist and carry her into the bedroom. Once there, Severus deposited her on the bed but didn't allow Hermione time to move. He was already atop her. Pressing against her, holding her to the sheets with his body. 

Hermione keened when his lips travelled to her neck, and one hand reached down to rub over her covered entrance. Severus knew he could make her feel it, even over the fabric and he was going to draw this out.

Inside her mind, Hermione was still slightly baffled that she was in this position with Snape. He had been, thus far grasping precisely what she wanted. How was that? Just as he was pushing her jumper up over her head, Hermione thought about Legillimency. 

"Yo-you weren't in my head-" Pausing to catch her breath, "were you?" 

Snape stared at her. "No." It was the first time in a bit that evening he had looked angry, put out even. "Why would you think that?" 

Hermione squirmed, realising she had to tell him what was going through her head about him being great at all of this. "You- just know what I want…" She trailed off and for a moment worried he was going to scold her like a student. 

He sat back a bit, shirking off his boots and socks, she sighed in relief. "Whatever idiot you have been sleeping with seems to have been very bad at taking hints."

She blushed, and to her surprise, Severus reached out and brushed a finger over her cheek, before undoing the buttons of his shirt with a smooth hand gesture. 

"And we  _ chatted _ about this if you do not recall." Once the shirt was off, he came to hover over her again. Hermione caught her breath at the dark look in his eyes. "I have been cataloguing everything you've said, I wanted to know how to please you for a long while now, Bookgirl." 

Then he allowed some of his weight down on her, grinding his hips against hers sharply. Hermione moaned loudly, reaching for him, pulling him closer. 

"I believe one of the biggest issues with previous partners was their lack of ability at allowing you to relax into the moment." Severus leaned down and nipped sharply at her neck. 

Hermione pulled in air through hissed teeth, then nodded vigorously. 

Severus smirked, reaching down he began to remove her jogging bottoms, loving the way she bit her bottom lip and looked down at him as he travelled her body. She was lovely. Hermione Granger was so much more than he had ever given her credit for.

As he removed the socks that had been covering her feet, Hermione lifted her jumper off, as well as the t-shirt she wore beneath. Severus was watching, and his jaw went slack when he saw she wore nothing underneath. 

Then a slow almost vicious smile crossed his lips. "Have you been like that all day?" Severus traced up her inner thigh with his fingertips. Stroking the skin and making her shutter. 

Hermione nodded, biting her lip and gazing down at him. 

A low growl sounded from deep in his chest, Hermione was pretty sure she felt it between her thighs as well. Pulsing hot. Keeping her voice as steady as she could manage, Hermione was able to mutter, "please." 

To that sweet word Snape couldn't resist, moving up to her face again, he cupped the back of her head, and his lips sought hers once more. Trying to pour all the feeling from that kiss on Halloween with the passion he felt at the Quidditch match. Stroking his tongue over every inch of Hermione's mouth as she clung to him like he was a lifeline. It was heady, and as she thrust her hips up against him, Severus noticed how painfully hard he was. Hermione seemed to discern this as well, still locked in their kiss she worked the buttons of his trousers undone and began to push them off. Forcing away he shoved off trousers and pants in one go. 

A panting Hermione regarded him as he returned to her, and he took his time looking over her body. Her creamy skin that tasted like confection on his tongue, not able to resist Severus leaned forward and took a rosy bud in his mouth. Sucking and releasing, with a gorgeously obscene wet pop. Hermione mewled, eyes lost to sensation. He continued his perusal of her person whilst running his hands over her breasts, squeezing and massaging. 

The vision of her was almost too much for Severus to take. Her mound calling to him with its thatch of well-trimmed dark curls. Hermione reached up and touched his cheek, the innocent and meaningful gesture was enough to make his heart stutter and his hands to find purchase at her centre. Mouth latching onto a nipple, Severus's fingers ghosted over her labia, gently prodding at her sensitive flesh with dextrous fingers. 

A ragged moan ripped from her and Severus felt his cock throb, releasing a hissing breath of his own, he palmed himself at the same time his fingers dipped inside her. Barely, just exploring, then deeper, commanding, as he traded breasts. 

"Se-everus!" Hermione shouted when he began to crook his fingers inside of her. The pads of them hitting that spongey place inside her, forcing her inner thighs to shudder and try to close on him. 

Severus's body kept her wide open, and he desisted from his task at her breasts to look up at her. Writhing, her head tossing back and forth, then he smoothed his thumb over her clit. Hermione bucked up against his hand, her own were fisted in the sheets at her sides. He rubbed faster, began to thrust his fingers in and out of her, still pulling over that spot at every retreat. Then pressing back against it at the return. It was a matter of seconds, and he felt her walls clamp almost painfully around his fingers. Hermione's legs shook, and she screamed. 

"Gods!  _ Ohhhhh, fuck _ !" 

Her body arched off the bed and trembled as she fell from her height. When she had settled, Severus moved up her body. Swiping swift, wet kisses over her face and chest. Hermione reached down, gripping his member in a firm hand, gently tracing her fingers over him. 

Severus groaned, throwing his head back, fuck he couldn't wait. Looking into her eyes, he grabbed her calve, hooking the backs of her knees over his elbows. Pressing them further up toward her chest as he slid inside of her, deliberately. Once fully sheathed, they both released a long breath at the same time. Hermione felt better than he could have ever imagined, heated and moist encompassing him in an entirely carnal way. Suddenly nothing was in his mind. It was blank aside from the ever-growing urge to keep her with him and never let her go. With surety, Severus began to thrust in and out. Catching her jaw with his lips as he pumped faster and harder. 

Every roll of his hips was bumping against her bundle of nerves, grazing it just right. Hermione already felt herself being catapulted toward the edge. 

"Merlin, fuck, you feel incredible," he grunted against her temple. 

"Me? Severus-" Hermione moaned around his name, "Jesus, you... you feel- inside me- good." Hermione's words were transcending into incoherent babble and soft hitching breaths as he sped her toward her orgasm with every strain of his hips. She needed it again, had to have it, and this time Hermione wanted the Potions Master to come apart with her. So she pleaded, "faster! Please." 

Her begging almost made him come right then. Instead, Severus obliged pistoning into her at a pace that had him panting, from exertion and mind-blowing desire. 

It was almost painful how badly she needed release, Hermione groaned, lifting her hips to meet his as he pounded into her, the tip of his cock bumping her cervix until she broke apart. Shattering into thousands of shards. Wave after wave of euphoric rapture caught her. Severus's hips jerked against her, then he drove hard into her with a guttural growl, his hot seed filling her. 

Whatever either of them had expected of their evening, it had not been this. As Severus pulled back to look at her sweaty but beautiful face, he kissed her gently. Feeling her shiver beneath him as his softening cock slipped from her, and Severus felt the loss even as he saw it in her eyes. 

In a moment of vulnerability, Hermione gazed up at him, taking in the strong features of his countenance. "Severus Snape, can I keep you?" 

The question had Severus gripping her tight, burying his face in her hair and nodding vigorously. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there, a friendly note for this chapter... hehe, read in the presence of others/in a public place at your own risk XD! LOL steam is ahead.   
XOXOXO!!!

It took some time but eventually they drug themselves from the bed. Going to Hermione's kitchen with the purpose of water and tea in mind. Hermione tossed on a new pair of knickers and a jumper. Severus transfigured a pair of her  _ not  _ pink jogging bottoms into a bigger size and slipped those on. He really was going to do his best to show that he was not so stingy about stuff like clothing, and it was true anyway, he wasn't. Hermione was lost in thoughts of what Severus had just done to her in bed as she made the tea. When he came up behind her, she started, jerking around. Only to be caught in those dark midnight eyes. 

"Jumpy?" Severus asked with a raised brow, taking the tea she offered. 

"Apparently." Hermione murmured, again as she braced hands on the kitchen island top sipping her own tea, brow furrowed in thought. It was a strange thing, but somehow she felt entirely at ease with him here, and by Merlin that had been the best sex Hermione had ever experienced. 

Severus took up residence on the stool opposite her, looking over the rim of his cup, studying her. "What is it?" There was a worry in his heart that she was regretting this, but no, Severus told himself. She had said she wanted him… to keep him. It made his heart soar just then in remembrance of that uttered comment. Severus Snape wasn't someone you just wanted to keep, he was a man that you used, then left to fend on his own. That was the way of his life. 

"I know we agreed not to talk about it, but I really hate what I said to you. Now everything makes perfect sense, you are some of the things I made you out to be, but not in the negative light that I said them." 

Severus drew his brows together, making that little crease that she had the urge to kiss more prominent, a frown turned his lips. 

"I mean that," Hermione chuckled a bit, "well, you are stiff, and you don't show your emotions readily, but they are not stunted. Not in the slightest," she sighed in exasperation, rubbing her bottom lip absently. "I am not sure I'm approaching this right." Her finger plucked at the lip, then Hermione sunk her teeth into it. Walking around to Severus and slipping onto his lap to straddle him. "SP60 is passionate and so very clever, you, Severus are articulate and persistent in your speech and life. Your emotions are not willingly available to the average observer, but it makes for my seeing them all the more special. I… well, I find it- you perfect." Hermione punctuated the words with a kiss to his lips, as Severus sat there stunned. "I wish I were better able to tell you just how much I believe that to be true, but alas, I am not the writer." 

His eyes got large, Severus had forgotten that SP divulged that secret to her. "I- it is just a hobby." 

"Don't be modest Severus, it doesn't suit you to be demure. Remember that we have gotten to know each other through words and I happen to be quite the connoisseur of books and the prose inside them." 

He snorted and used the hand that wasn't around her waist to bring tea to his lips. Words that he wished to say at that moment, not coming to the surface. His eyes were betraying the nervousness and fear that her presence warranted in his mind. Her whiskey eyes tracked his lips as they closed around the rim of the cup. She could break him Severus realised with a single word, she could make him soar with a gesture. That was a dangerous place to be in, vulnerable to a point he had not allowed himself in a long time. 

"I meant it you know, I don't want to mess about with all that coyness, I want you. I know that now, perhaps I grasped it longer than I realised." 

Lips turning up at the corners, Severus sat the teacup down on the island top and pushed both hands into her hair, feeling the soft curls tangle in between his fingers. She was here, and he wasn't about to deny himself of her when she wanted him. It would be a hard-pressed thing for him to deny her anything at all really. 

Leaning in, Severus swiped her lips once then twice before moulding his mouth to hers. First just a press of lips against lips, then prying his open and accepting her tongue as it darted into his mouth, greedy and demanding against his soft, warm flesh. His long-fingered hands were able to tilt her head just so, opening her up to him all the more, and Hermione released an unintelligible plea into his mouth. The apex of her thighs was warm against his hardening cock. That was what finally drove him to stand. Urging Hermione to wrap her legs around his torso and him to walk back to the bedroom. Stopping just inside the door to pin her back against a wall and thrust against her covered core roughly, the need had been nearly involuntary and animalistic in nature. Causing Severus to yank his mouth away from hers in order to breath and pant, to think properly. It took another chunk of his resolve to move them from pressed up against the wall to her bed. He sat her against the headboard and Severus pressed both hands to the mattress, checking his breathing. He wanted to enjoy her, wanted her to experience him. To do that Severus needed to be more patient. Severus Snape had never been one to take any task lightly, he studied it, learned and perfected. It would be the very same here. 

"Severus? Are you alright?" Hermione's eyes looked worried when he looked up at them. 

"Yes," and he smiled, "I am wonderful, elated… all of the above." 

She looked at him a bit funnily by smiled back. 

"So… I believe in our correspondence, I have heard many things about a toy…" Severus had been thinking about this particular scenario should everything go well with Bookgirl. Now he knew who Bookgirl was and he was even more keen to take in every last detail. He was essentially going to be embarking on a study of Hermione Granger and that included her sexual preferences. 

Giggling at this, she watched him crawl onto the bed, but instead of going to her, he sat with his back against the slightly lower wooden end of the bed frame. 

"Which one?" The words escaped Hermione's mouth before she really thought about them. 

A surprised laugh burst from the man at that revelation. "More than one?"

"Oh, yes." She said stubbornly and without embarrassment. A sly smirk on her face made Severus grin back, then Hermione flicked a hand, and the drawer of her bedside table opened revealing an array of various items. 

Severus whistled low, "I am going to have competition." 

Hermione laughed, "unless that last bit was a freak accident, I believe it's safe to say you will be my favourite toy," she winked. 

"Minx. Still," he leaned back, "I want to see the masters at their work," he gestured to the drawer.

This had her blushing.

"Show me how you please yourself."

Hermione's mouth went dry, she had never even attempted to do something like this with a partner, certainly not on their first night together. Inside she knew there was nothing traditional about her and Severus, not only that but Hermione already felt that she trusted him. So she held her head high and reached into her 'fun drawer'. A shiver of power ran over her at the thought of him watching her do this. Selecting one her favourites  _ oh gods was she really going to do this? _ A vibrator in a lilac colour but with all the ridges and details to match the real thing. Severus's eyes tracked the toy as she held it, lust plain there. Another thrill of arousal, as well as confidence, shot through her at his rapture. Dropping the toy to the bed, Hermione lifted her jumper up over her head, leaving her knickers in place, setting her feet on the mattress, knees bent. Opening up so he could view the thin material that covered her slit. 

Severus was very nearly drooling at the sight before him. As she pressed the button and a hushed buzz filled the air, Severus felt his cock strain harder, if that were possible, against his clothing. Hermione brought the tip of it to her covered opening, rubbing it around the edges, up to her clit, then back down. It was surprising just how easy it was to lose herself to the sensation and forget any embarrassment that had been present. Instead, she watched in delight as Severus's eyes became heavy-lidded and his hand travelled down to the bulge in his trousers, palming himself, slowly. It was one of the hottest things she had ever seen, and as he had earlier put it, instructive. 

"Severus, I want to see you." Hermione's breathing was becoming more and more rapid as she thoroughly prepared herself. With a snap of her fingers, her knickers were gone, leaving her almost dripping pussy open for his view. 

Groaning Severus began to push his bottoms down, pulling out his rather impressive member. "If you think my self-control is so good that I could watch you and not touch myself, then you are sorely mistaken." 

At Severus's fist, giving his cock a hard stroke. Hermione made a small whimper and pressed the vibrator against her clit then slid it down, making sure he was paying excellent attention as she thrust it deep inside of her, letting out a long wanton moan. 

"Oh, fuck." 

Hermione took note as best she could at the way Severus touched himself, the pacing and movement. It was such an erotic thing to witness she was already closer than she ever got on her own. She turned the vibrations up and moved it to her bud, dropping her head back against the headboard as her breathing grew rapid and shallow. 

"Severus-" Her voice was shaky. 

"Look at me," he rumbled, his voice was deep and thick with arousal. 

She looked and again pressed the toy deep inside of her. Loving the way his eyes watched the movement, drinking it in. Then she began to push firmly in and out, and Severus groaned moving his hand faster over his shaft. Hermione reached one hand up, palming her breast, pinching a nipple, and biting her lip. It took a considerable amount of effort not to close her eyes to the sensations. The white-hot coiling inside of her was threatening to take her, but she wanted to see Severus, wanted to watch as he lost control. One of his hands reached down to touch his bollocks, and it seemed to be enough, with a short shout and a sharp jerk of his hips Severus came over his stomach and hand. 

Hermione's eyes had gone wide as she watched the scene and as she saw his face move from ecstasy to satiation, the most relaxed she had ever seen the man she couldn't keep herself from throwing her head back as one hand found her clit and the other kept up a hard pace with the vibrator. It took a matter of seconds before she was shouting his name into her bedroom, removing the toy and pulling her legs together at the sensitivity. Her body tensed then rocking in little spasms until she was spent on the bed, staring at the ceiling, nearly gasping for breath. Hermione was sure she had never come so hard by her own hand before, or anyone else's for that matter. 

Feeling the bed dip next to her, Hermione turned her head as Severus switched off the vibrator that she hadn't bothered to. Lifting the toy to his mouth, he licked the length of it, seeming to savour the flavour of her on his tongue. Hermione gaped at him,  _ fuck that was hot _ . She wanted to taste him as well, but to her dismay, Severus had already used a spell on himself. Later,  _ oh yes _ , she would lick him clean or let him finish in her mouth. 

"That was probably the sexiest thing I have ever done," Hermione muttered hugging a pillow against her chest a while later, Severus spooned behind her. 

"S' that so?" His own voice was heavy with sleep, making it more gravelly to her ears. 

"Mhmm," she mumbled, the rest of whatever Hermione had meant to say was gone as she drifted off to sleep. 

…

When Severus first began to come to, there was a dull grey light being allowed in by the curtains. He always shut the curtains, so that was strange. As he forced his eyes open, it was evident that though this bedroom looked very similar in structure to his, it was not actually his room at all. The warm body pressed against his side was also an indicator, soon through the sleepy haze, Snape was able to put two and two together, remembering the night before. It made him grin into the chilly morning air, and it was brisk. Hermione's body felt like a furnace, but when he got up to use the very needed loo, it was like he was stepping on frost rather than floor.  _ Bloody hell, did the woman not turn her heating on? _

Business finished and a few freshening up charms later Severus made his way back to the bed. Hermione stirred as he crawled back inside. 

"It's cold…" she murmured sleepily. 

Severus snorted, "indeed." 

With very little finesse, Hermione lifted her wand from beneath the pillow and sent a charm at heating unit. There was a whir and hiss before warm heat was pouring out of the radiator. She dropped back onto the pillows looking at the ceiling and sighing. 

"What is it?" Asked Severus tentatively, in his experience there was nothing good that came with a woman sighing the morning after. 

"Hmm?" She seemed to have been lost in her own little world, turning over she gazed at him with palpable excitement and joy in her eyes. "I was just thinking that I wish it were the weekend, so we didn't have to go to work." 

Severus had almost all but forgotten the bloody Ministry of bloody Magic. Pursing his lips after a moment, he said, "we could floo sick?" 

Hermione's eyes danced a bit, "I've never done that," the twinkle there was so profound, it made Severus chuckle.

"Neither have I."

They sat in silence for a moment. "We could do whatever we wanted…" Severus started his voice just this side of hopeful. 

"...whomever we wanted." Hermione joked. 

"Merlin, I hope not whomever. What if Potter or Weasley appears? Whomever," he scoffed with a well-meaning eye roll. 

"Yes, alright. Whoever being the two people in this room." Hermione folded her arms across her chest, but Severus unwound them and kissed her. 

It was so lovely to wake up to kisses on tap, Hermione nearly lost herself to it before he said, "shall we?" 

Nodding enthusiastically they both leapt from bed, walking to the sitting room and the floo. "Oh, well you can't floo from here, that would be disastrous." 

"Yes, quite. I'll floo home then be back when you've finished." 

Hermione nodded, and even though the separation was temporary, it made her sad. Instead of thinking how lost she was to him Hermione waited 10 minutes then made a big show of telling Kingsley she was ill, he had been seemed perplexed but assured her that there was nothing to worry about. Leaving the call muttering something about Snape and illness as well. Hermione snickered at that and padded to the kitchen, feeling relaxed and quite happy to be skiving off work. What was the harm anyway? She had done so much for the bloody Ministry in her years, one sick day would be nothing. 

Just as she was flipping the coffee machine on Severus returned, he was changed into his own lounge clothing. A dark pair of jogging bottoms and a thick black jumper as well. Hermione smirked at the image, he looked sexy. More than that actually and she was happy that it was her that got to experience it. For the oddest reason, a blush crept over her face, and she felt a bit abashed thinking of their intimacy the night before. 

"Coffee?" Hermione asked, turning away from him. If she kept looking at him, she might very well jump him right then and there, it was utterly ridiculous that she should feel that great of a pull. 

"Yes," came his reply, Severus had moved closer, and she hadn't heard him, "please." 

Hermione hummed a response and moved toward the refrigerator,  _ why was this magnetic pull driving her mad? Wasn't it a good thing that she liked him? _ Something in Hermione's gut twisted at that. She didn't just like him, it was more than that, she had been pretty invested in SP60 and now that it was apparent not only was Severus and SP one and the same but also they were better together than she could have ever imagined. Well, it terrified Hermione. There was so much baggage that came with the two of them. Not only that but what if something happened? That man already could break her heart, and it wasn't as if this had been going on for that long, well it had, but not precisely in the traditional sense. 

"I swear to Merlin that I am not reading your thoughts," he started. "But they are pronounced on your face." Severus stepped up to the counter where she had been mechanically preparing their coffee.

"Cream? Sugar?" Her heart was pounding at what he was about to say, she had been candid with her feelings, and he was… well, he was perceptive. 

"Just cream, if you will." 

Hermione nodded, and poured a dollop of cream in, watching the nearly black liquid swirl with the white, creating a twirling pattern before her spoon interrupted the design, and the drink was a perfect caramel colour. Then she handed it to Severus, not unable to recognise the way his fingers brushed the back of her hand when he took the cup from her. 

"Do you really believe that you wouldn't have the same ability to hurt me as I have to hurt you?" Severus lifted the edge of the light blue mug to his lips, taking a long pull from it. "You asked if you can keep me… but can I keep you as well?" 

Hermione's own cup was paused halfway to her lips. Then she nodded furiously, breaking into a smile. "At the moment, I can think of nothing that would make me happier." 

Chuckling low Severus smirked at her, reaching out for her hand he tugged her toward the couch. It was there that the two of them were able to sit in companionable silence for a while. Enjoying the taste of the coffee and the comfort that each other brought to the space. Hermione tucked in close to his side, and Severus rested his chin on her head, his heart giddy at just being able to hold someone. 

He had very quickly assuaged some of the fears she was having, but there was something still tickling at the back of her mind. No matter what relationship you go into, there is the potential for heartbreak, quickly or long term it could very well happen. The thing about it was, Hermione noted, do you decide to take what you have and run with it despite the possible pain? Or cower and forget in case you lose it? It was the difference between what might have been and what could be. Very little difference at all except for the memories attached to it. Both sides of that proverbial coin had heartache in one way or another, they also had joy. The choice was hers if she decided to risk her heart in the hope that the coin might never flip at all. 

…

Whilst Severus went out to get them breakfast, or at least the stuff to make it as there was very little in her flat to cook with. Hermione decided to have a shower, one of the things that cleared her head, or made it easier for her to think in any given situation was a shower dance party or a dance party in general. For some reason (mostly her mother, probably) Hermione was able to release tension this way. So flipping on the music, she hopped in the shower, closing her eyes, she began to sing to the tune, bobbing her head and washing her hair as she went. It was therapeutic, what else could she say? Plus, she was happy there was a pretty fantastic man that she would be waiting for upon his return. 

It had taken far less time than Severus expected when he returned to Hermione's flat. He set the items he would need to make omelettes on the counter. Looking about the space she wasn't there, but he did hear the shower running. A slow, sly smile spread across his features at that. It wasn't until he reached the door to her loo that he noticed there was music playing, and the witch was swaying behind the curtain as well. It was effortless to see her curves through the light curtain. Severus felt the familiar swelling of his cock at the sight, in a quick movement of his wand, he was naked. Not wanting to scare her he turned the music off as well. 

"Severus?"

"Mhmm," he hummed as he climbed into the shower, reaching a hand out he snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. His erection pressed against her arse cheeks. 

Hermione's body shook against him, and Severus watched her mouth fall open in pleasure. Her smooth body made him so heated with arousal that it was nearly unbearable. Hermione turned to look at him, and her eyes became molten with a similar sentiment to him. She kissed him slowly, then trailing her lips down his neck and over his chest. Gripping his haunches for the support, she lowered herself to her knees and wasted no time licking the head of his cock. 

Hips jerking forward of their own accord Severus braced a hand against the tiles. Pulling air in through his teeth with a hiss, his other hand finding its way into her hair as she slipped his member past her lips. Then pulling back and taking him inside again. Severus panted, wanting nothing more than to lose himself in her mouth. 

Hermione was thinking similarly, the hand he had in her hair, urging her on him and the sounds that escaped his lips had liquid gushing from her. Fresh waves of need almost overpowering her thoughts. 

Severus seemed to sense it. Pulling her up, he kissed her lips with almost bruising hardness, moaning around her tongue, a hand going to her arse, and squeezing it. Jesus, he couldn't take it. Turning Hermione around, Severus pressed up behind her. He didn't have to ask her to widen her stance or bend, touching her hands to the wall, she did it. 

Little preamble was needed or even within his ability. Severus drove himself hard inside her. Gripping her hips, he buried himself over and over into her tight, hot centre. Hermione cried out, as he did her own body bucking back against him, meeting him thrust for thrust. 

"Oh,  _ Yesss! Fuck! Severus!"  _ Hermione's voice was hoarse, the ache inside her was throbbing, immense pleasure as his cock worked her. Filling her again and again, hitting bottom and pulling back out, his speed steady. "Harder-oh god-please!" 

Severus grunted in response, fingertips digging into her hips as he set a punishing pace. Pistoning in and out of her with an abandon he hadn't before experienced. 

Hermione screamed his name, explicative pouring from her lips even as he could feel her fluids coating his cock. Her palm banged against the wall of the shower in rapid procession. "YES!" 

Just when Severus thought there was no way he could hold back she came with a long moan, one of her hands reaching back to grip his wrist where it rested on her hip. The fluttering of her searing core was too much, and Severus allowed himself release. A last, hard thrust followed his groan as he kept himself pressed firmly against her, spilling his seed into her waiting channel. 

Neither knew how they made it from the shower and to the mattress. Everything was a daze, it was a miracle they didn't pass out on the shower floor. Still naked the two fell into bed, a tangle of sated limbs and soon blissful sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone is still enjoying <3 you all!
> 
> xoxo!

"So you're ashamed of me?" Hermione was smirking, sat in Severus's flat a week later, propped up against the pillows in his bed. It had started with a simple question about what they were to each other. The last week had been amazing, and she wanted to know where they were now. 

Severus shot her a look that made her feel a bit petty. "Completely unfounded. You are the one that I should worry about when it comes to that- no, let me finish- I just think that the press would go berserk. They know of our history. I don't" he steeled himself to say this next bit of emotional tripe. "I don't want it to ruin anything." Snape did not look at her. 

This was one of the sweetest things she had been able to coax out of the sour man, and it made her smile. "So we keep it a secret." 

"I understand that it sounds bad." The apathy was back, hard and unyielding. 

"No, I mean, sorta, but I get what you are saying, and if that would help, then I'll do it." 

He gave a short nod. Hermione was not about to let him get away with that, they were playing by her rules too. 

She reached out and touched his face, turning it to her. "I don't want anything to jinx this either, and to be honest, everyone is so bloody nosey." 

He sagged a bit in relief, kissing her gently then got a rather sly look in his eye. "You gave me a scare there, perhaps you deserve to be spanked?" 

He looked mischievous, but Hermione's throat went dry. It had ever been something that she wanted to try, those were the fantasy's, but she was always too scared to do it. Too worried that it was weird, or that it would end badly. Curiously, Hermione didn't want Severus to think she was sleeping with him because of his past as a Deatheater. That had nothing to do with it, he simply commanded a room, held a particular prowess over any given space he inhabited. The idea of it, of him, was so sexy, and Hermione wanted to let him, let him take over that control in a way that had always terrified and excited her. She licked her lips, and her eyes must have darkened because Severus's shot up to his hairline. 

"You do." 

Instantly the fear was back. "I- well, no, just…" Trailing off, her usually articulate manner was nonexistent as she floundered for a word to say. Trying and failing to make her mouth form what she wanted. It was too early for fantasies; anyway, they had only been seeing each other for a week. A voice in the back of her head whispered that it had been so much longer than that. Even if it hadn't been in person. The voice was right, she felt as though she knew him quite a bit for someone so private even if it had only been a week of putting a username to a face. 

Severus wasn't stupid either, he saw the warring in her eyes, adept at reading people. Especially beautiful know-it-all ones who tried and failed to contain their emotions and not let them show on their face, no he knew. 

Reaching out, Severus threaded a hand through her hair and pulled her into a long searching kiss. Just when Hermione was melting into it, did he pull back and look at her. "Get over my knee." Then his hand was gone, and Severus had turned to sit with his legs off the bed. Making room for her in his lap. 

Hermione's eyes were as wide as saucers. Severus had to fight not to chuckle at the look. Instead, he jerked his head towards his lap, sending a piercing look at her. She climbed almost mechanically at first across his lap, trying to sit. He shook his head and raised an eyebrow at her, she laid on her belly. Gently he took the leg not closest to him and moved it to straddle his own leg, and watched as her brow furrowed. This was not his first time with this. He knew. Unlike many of the other Deatheaters, he was not turned on by brutal torture. No, the thought made him nearly sick, but some control, that Severus loved. If a more blunt explanation was wanted, he got off on it, just as it looked like Hermione got off on being controlled a little. 

Cheeks flaming and squirming, Hermione laid there waiting. He knew she was interested even if she was fighting it, she wouldn't, not for long, not if he had a say in it. She was only wearing a sweatshirt and knickers, the bottom would stay for a while. Smoothing a hand down her backside, Severus tried and failed to keep his cock from springing to life.  _ Oh well _ . 

"Severus… you don't need to do thi-" 

"Does this excite you?" 

She was quiet, and Severus gave her bottom a small swat, Hermione gasped, but it quickly turned into a moan. "Yes." 

"Well," he soothed the area, "doing this to you excites me." 

She looked up at him, and he nodded at her unspoken question. 

"I've never…" 

Another nod. "We'll take it slow, just communicate with me, yes?" 

Hermione nodded, then it seemed in a moment of cheeky revelation she muttered, "yes, sir." 

Cock at full attention then.  _ Lovely _ . 

It had been some time since Snape had been in this position, that Severus had to admit, but it was like riding a broomstick, was it not? He cursed himself for the trite phrase and instead focused on the woman that was splayed out over his lap. Beautiful, she really was, it had only been a matter of mere days that they had known who the other one was really, but there had been a lot previously shared. The parts of her that she had yielded to him were his to hold. Her beauty was just a sweet bonus and this… well, it was something else entirely. Even the fact that she trusted him enough to allow herself in this position made his heart stutter in his chest. She trusted him, which meant that she felt the same about the time they had spent just understanding each other, but not quite knowing each other. 

Taping a finger lightly at the centre of her spine, he leaned down and whispered close to her ear, "arch." 

Almost an instantaneous reaction. Smoothing his hand all the way down, Severus felt the tremor that followed his palm. "So… reactive." Then he let his palm fall harder on her right cheek, a quick snap that would pulse and leave a dull sting. 

"Oh!" came her breathless reply. 

Severus slipped fingers under her knickers and pulled them down her legs, watching as pale blue lace gave way to her pink skin. Then he began a series of small taps back and forth, sometimes hitting both cheeks at the same time. Hermione was whimpering under him, and he leaned down, "I believe someone likes to be punished…" 

Hermione nodded vigorously, this what she had wanted, nothing insane. Someone who had been enough near-death situations in her life did not want to be tied and tortured. Hermione Granger wanted to be taken care of, in many ways, with respect and knowledge of her own ability to protect herself, but also she needed someone who knew how to transfer over the control, allow her to let go with them. Snape was doing it seamlessly, and she hadn't even coached him on what she wanted, only dropped hints over their various messages. 

A sharp hit caught her off guard, and she made a soft groan, it was beginning to become painfully aware that her bum was burning a little, but it felt good. Really good, better than she had ever fantasised about it feeling. His large hands moved over her lower back and Hermione for not the first time this evening felt her excitement ooze out of her, it had to be all over his trousers she was sure. If he minded, he didn't say so. Just at that thought, she felt his breath on her ear once again. 

"Someone has been excellent for their spanking, do you know what that means?" 

Hermione waited with bated breath, not wanting to ruin the moment by speaking through her lust and sounding stupid. 

Severus slipped a hand back down her back and teased at her entrance, she was so keyed up at this point it would only be mere minutes, and she would be flying over the edge. 

Severus groaned softly, "so wet…" he rubbed her nub, and Hermione cried out, long and loud. She fought the urge to press back against him, to make him pleasure her, her foot that brushed the floor taped its toes helplessly there. Looping an arm around her waist, Severus turned them both, pressing Hermione bent over the mattress. Gently he used his knees to open her legs wider to him, and he watched as her fingers fisted in the sheets. It was heady to think that she was so exceptionally sensitive to every little thing that he did. On top of that, she showed him, used the senses to give him that reassurance. Carefully he used the tip of his cock to taunt her entrance. 

"Gods! Please!" 

At that Severus's patience had long worn thin, slipping into her heat with a long groan, she mirrored in a higher pitch. "You feel good," he muttered, unable to voice anything more articulate than that. 

Hermione arched her back as he drove into her from behind. Allowing the pressure to feel more acute, stroking her from the inside out into fire. The only thing she wished was that it was easier to touch him, to see him, and the consistent pinch of need that he created with every movement kept her from turning her head. 

Seeming somehow to sense this, Severus turned them over, and before Hermione could really feel his loss from her, he was inside her again. Gripping his shoulders Hermione continued to arch off the mattress, that overwhelming feeling just out of reach, so close

Severus throbbed to finish, it was almost too much, but she was so tight and warm sheathed around him. He ground himself harder, rubbing his pubic bone over her mound as he did, to this he received a long, loud moan. Severus smirked and reached a hand down to touch her clit, moving his fingers in fast, but consistent procession over the sensitive bud. Reality was slowly melting away. 

"Come, Hermione, I need you to come- I want to see it." 

Something seemed to snap at the sound of his pleading, Hermione keened. Thrusting her hips up and digging her fingernails into his shoulder as she came hard. Severus was unable to keep himself from succumbing to the pull of her pulsing channel, he too was jerked over the edge. Pressing wildly against her until he collapsed over her body, with a sated smile. 

…

They both had realised early on that taking showers together unless previously decided to be sexual always turned into that. So instead of going in together, they did it separately despite wanting to be together. Whilst Severus showered Hermione was perusing his books. He had a fair few that she didn't, and she was mentally cataloguing which ones she would ask to borrow when she came to a row of bare spined dark green leather-bound copies. They looked old, and she was intrigued, picking one up. Hermione opened it at random. 

_ "... I cannot say for certain if I shall live long enough to see this world in which…"  _

_ Oh, gods, _ she thought. It was a journal of some kind. She wanted to keep reading, but her rational mind begged her not to continue, Hermione wanted to know. The curiosity streak inside of her was strong, it always had been. So she read a bit more, it was thoughts just thoughts he was having, and Hermione ached for him. Severus had been through more than anyone would probably ever know. She reached a point in the page where the lines became a column, and the stream of consciousness became prose, her heart stilled at his moving words. 

_ In a moment there is everything and nothing.  _

_ You collapse from the tax you so readily force yourself to perform. Straddling that line between empty and too full, that's where the gnawing perplexity emerges. Showing it's ugly face once again, a face that holds a similar visage your own, but more disagreeable if that were indeed possible.  _

_ Allowing the murky gloom to seep in and seal your fate again and again. There's the rush of ever-present sentiment, it bubbles to the surface, forcing it to retreat is nearly unbearable. A little more of your very soul cracks under its pressure. Coughing, sputtering, grasping at the white-hot rage that is a safe harbour. There. Sit just there in slow, smouldering contempt. In that you feel most secured, anything and everything at a distance, the world distorted as if seeing it through that aged looking glass. Alike the one sat just out of reach on her dressing table, neglected as it served no purpose; save for her son to see warped, horrific images from huddled under a battered, iron bed frame. Small, rail-thin and ragged, desperately trying to escape the dull thud of fists, the cries of suffering. Only comfort, a glimpse of gingery strands in your mind's eye, scent of the first mince pie you had been offered, all powdery sugar and warm spices, sweet, tart, combined flavours so different from the dull beige of every other feed. Hands soft and careful tending to a bruise with quiet agreement not to say a word, a soft jaw clenched and tears running down a smooth cheek. Home, or the glimpse of one.  _

_ View change, life presses on. Then a sickening murmur of a chessboard, the knowledge that you are nothing more than a useful pon, in a larger game. You have no emotions. None that matter. Emotion is a weakness. The never-ending grind must be a priority, must be in motion. So brood, fall deeper into the inky blackness that has undoubtedly long since consumed your heart. Do as you've been bidden. There is but one end, the only piece making your miserable existence worth anything at all, so lie, seeth, sneer, do as you are asked.  _

_ Perhaps, when the game stops and the last puff of your existence is snuffed out, the light, sweet aroma of a lily might pervade. _

Scribbled at the bottom was a sort of title, or so it appeared.  _ Between A Rock And A.  _

Hermione felt her heart cracking under the pressure of how badly all of this must-have hurt, how much it must have taken for him to go about his everyday daily life. Her heart was beating wildly as she shut the journal, she should not have looked at that. There was a noise behind her, Severus entered the sitting room his hair still slightly damp. In her rush to look as if she had not been snooping, Hermione whirled around and the book went flying out of her hand. Skittering across the floor and bumping into the very man's toe. 

"Shit," she whispered under her breath. 

Severus gave her a flat look, then reached down to pick up the journal, turning it over in his hands. 

"Severus-I am sorry, that was so stupid of me, I shouldn't have-" There was nothing more to say, she had been in the wrong. Very very wrong. He wasn't moving or looking at her. Hermione was cursing herself inside as the very thing she had been enjoying so much seemed to hold on by a thread. One that she had worn down herself, her and her stupid curiosity. She stood there, wringing her hands as he looked at the front of the journal. When the deafening silence became too much Hermione realised that she needed to leave, Severus Snape was not a man to be pushed. Glancing around she saw her bag and coat waiting by the door, going to it she picked them up. "I…" she tried to speak, "I'm sorry." Her hand gripped the handle of the door, and she pinched her eyes closed tears threatening to overtake her. 

"Oh god," he murmured from behind her, and she heard him move to the door, then stop. "It's always too much. I will not stop you from leaving Hermione." 

That surprised her, his voice was broken, and when she whirled around, she saw fear in his eyes. "What?" 

"I know what is in these…" he held up the leather-bound item. "The musings of an angry boy and then an enraged broken man, I am sorry you had to see it." 

"Severus," she allowed her voice to stop, then walked a bit closer. "What I read was beautiful, sad, but beautiful. I am only sorry that I didn't ask first. It was an invasion of privacy." 

Severus was quiet for a long while but pulled her closer to him, his body hard and warm against her own. "I am sorry you had to see into my thoughts at a time like that." Was what he said after a while. 

Hermione just shook her head against his chest, she wasn't sorry, it had given her insight into a man that was partially a mystery. Taking his hand, she pulled him back toward the sofa where they could sit comfortably against each other and having a long snog before work. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be two chapters, but it just felt weird anywhere I tried to cut it off so its just one long chapter haha. A bit of plot preparing here, bear with me.   
I'm hoping to post at least twice a week here on out so that when final exams hit me I don't keep you waiting.   
XOXO!

For some reason, things were reasonably simple between them. At the moment, they didn't want anyone to know they were dating. That would mean questions and publicity, things that neither of them felt comfortable or wanted to answer to. It wasn't as if Severus was ashamed. If anyone were, it would be Hermione, he wasn't exactly a catch, or so he thought. Though when he said this out loud, he had had a pillow thrown at his face. Such childish antics had warranted her a glare. Those were the sort of things that he worried would be lost should they go public. They would have to explain everything, no one would believe that they simply began actually talking and not shouting one day, then poof, they were fucking. Just like magic. No, that was not possible at all. 

Another thought popped without his consent into Severus's mind at some point. Taking him off guard, making him snag a bit of skin whilst shaving. He did it the muggle way, which now seemed like less of a good idea. What if someone convinced her that she is too good for him? She was, I mean, that was the simple answer, but if Hermione was told by an outside source… it could spell disaster for him. Already he had become far too attached to the witch, which was utterly ridiculous. It had been in Severus's mind never to become too connected emotionally again, that was the whole goal. Always. Then BookGirl had happened. It was those thoughts that pressed him through his morning routine and out the door, feeling incredibly inadequate and a touch worried to boot. 

The little crease between his eyebrows only furrowed the more when he saw Potter and the youngest male Weasley in his lab. That was never good tidings. He didn't hate the man Harry had become. Severus had come to see that, unlike his father and godfather. Harry was a relatively humble man, he had a pension for helping people a little too much, but that didn't seem to have harmed anyone too much. Really it was reminiscent of Lily but without some of her adolescent idealism. All in all, he was a good man. But at the moment, Severus did not want to see him, it just reminded him of Hermione and his own impending doom. 

"Snape! Thank god," Harry rushed over to him before Severus could even put his things down on the chair, or get a coffee for Merlin's sake. 

"Mr Potter, how can I help you?" 

"We have an unknown substance in the Auror department-," Harry started

"-it's quarantined off," Weasley added quickly when he saw Snape's face. 

"-But we need someone to identify it," he shrugged sheepishly. "No one could." 

_ Why am I not surprised?  _

As they walked to the Auror office Severus was quiet, he had things to do, not pick up after stupid, incompetent-

"Harry?" Called a voice from the other end of the hall. "I just got your memo, everything alright? I'm not the best at potions, but I can give it a look-" Hermione had glanced up and saw that Severus also stood in the hallway. Severus watched her face for signs that she might be ashamed of him, but saw none, just her trying to grasp at how she should act in front of Weasley. Hermione had informed him a few days before that Potter and Miss Weasley knew of them, as apparently, the ball had been less than subtle. 

Potter's brow was furrowed in worry, obviously concerned about what was about to go down. 

Severus saw Hermione floundering and took the lead, "consulting amateurs now? My assistance is obviously not needed." It was said in a snarl down for the books. 

Harry's eyes went wide, and he looked at Hermione, whose jaw had fallen open, then snapped shut.

"Get over yourself, Snape." Her eyes held a dangerous glint, one that Severis liked, or would like, had it been trained on him whilst they were alone, in his bed. Just now, it was a bit frightening to be sure. 

Severus simply snorted and turned his attention back to Potter, waiting for him to direct them. Weasley swallowed. 

"I didn't know if I'd be able to find you," he said to Snape, "come on then." Harry walked past Hermione, and Severus saw and heard her whisper dangerously in the man's ear. 

"Harry Potter, do I look second best to you?" 

"You just said you weren't as good at potio-" Ron tried to add before seeing the witch's glare and promptly shutting up. 

Harry was looking a bit like a joke was being played on him, and it sort of was. He also seemed ready to retaliate in kind when Hermione pinned him with another withering look. Potter seemed to back down from whatever jest he was readying. 

Ah, perhaps time had the Chosen One realising that his bollocks might stay in their preferred place if he shut the fuck up on occasion. Before Severus would have forced himself to find the display angering, today, well, he could only be turned on by her show of power, knowing that later Hermione would allow him to let her relax whilst he took over the control. 

Ronald took himself up to full height, which wasn't all that impressive; still, Severus decided that he would be interested in the fact that he even tried to be intimidating and mature. "Listen, we don't have time for one of your stupid little spats," he looked between Severus and Hermione. "This is serious." Stalking forward, Weasley was followed by the man who was once The Boy Who Lived, allowed them to follow him to the Auror office. Hermione and Severus shared an amused look that was unseen by anyone but the two of them. 

…

It seemed to be that the idiots in the Auror office, (that did exclude Ron and Harry, for once as they were the ones that tried to stop it) had taken it upon themselves to examine a potion that was found at a crime scene. The entirety of the potion had exploded all over the majority of them. Harry and Ron (how the fuck..?) had gotten away from it in time to go get Severus, sending a memo to Hermione as well. It had been a mess, and something nearly so disgusting it was a wonder that George had not wanted to see the results to make something of it himself. The yellow goo like substance had coated the walls and people, causing a literal rollercoaster of emotions, crying, laughing hysterically, and also anger. That last one was the real issue, Arthur, who had only dropped by to say hello was part of the way through nearly throttling Percy, only there to drop off a package from the Minister. 

A quick cleansing spell between the Harry, Ron, Severus, and Hermione, to most of the office's inhabitants, had been effective enough as the substance was effective by contact to the skin. Severus stalked over to a wall covered in goop, pointedly examining it but not before looking at the room and its people with irritant derision to be sure. It had been hard for Hermione not to burst out laughing. Severus was sardonic and witty. Delivering the best one line, deadpan comments to ever exist, Hermione had to fight not to kiss him and laugh. That took skill. 

The day dragged after that, not a lot of anything other than paperwork for her to do, and she couldn't help but be excited to Severus again when she could actually act like she enjoyed his presence. She was still trying her best to not bother him, still a bit unsure where the boundaries were. The man was prickly and private, and it was not her intention to force him to leave his set ways. However, she was a bit worried about asking what was accepted and what would not be. That was stupid, of course, but still… everything was going decently, and she didn't want to cock it up. 

Hermione picked up a lasagna from a restaurant nearby on her way home, she could have that for dinner for a few days. When she reached the door, Severus was standing there waiting for her, this made her smile. They hadn't said exactly when they would meet, but he knew what time she was off work. 

"Have you been here long?" 

He shook his head, following her inside. 

Placing the container down on the island in the centre of the kitchen and taking off her coat. Under it, she wore a simple button-up blouse and a pair of navy trousers. Kicking off her shoes, Hermione caught Severus staring at her as he took off his own coat and rolled up his shirt sleeves, the glance was… fucking sexy. As if he wanted to have her for dinner. He did. 

Hermione blushed a bit and went to put the food away. They were meant to watch a movie, and she offered to make popcorn, pulling out a pan and feeling his eyes on her the whole while. When Severus dragged her away from the task and sat her up on the counter, Hermione wasn't exactly surprised. Though delighted would be another word, that was very accurate. 

His fingers unbuttoned her blouse in quick succession, and Hermione marvelled at his deft ability with buttons, though she supposed that it did make sense with what he wore all the bloody time. Letting her blouse hang halfway open Severus palmed a breast over her bra, then unbutton the top of her trousers, she reached for his own shirt, but he stepped out of her reach. Kissing her protest away with enough passion, making her forget that she had been bothered to begin with. Pulling down the cup covering a breast Severus latched onto a peek, sucking it to a point and then giving the same treatment to the other side. Hermione clutched the back of his head, scraping her fingernails against his scalp and letting out a breathless laugh when he growled in response to her loving scratches. Dropping to his knees on the kitchen floor (a well-timed cushioning charm aiding his joints) Severus took her trousers and knickers down with him. Hermione spread her legs, unable to actually stop the wanton display, not that the smirking man on the ground seemed to be worried about such a thing in the slightest. He simply placed his palms on the inside of her thighs and pushed them open as wide as she was able, settling himself between them and licking his lips.

She was glistening for him, wet and pink and ready for his mouth. The smell of her arousal had Severus wishing he had not instigated this and instead could take her against the counter,  _ no _ . This was all the sweeter. He was a patient man, of course, and this, pleasuring her was just as exciting as anything else, if not more so. Leaning in, Severus kissed the inside of her thighs, taking his time, nipping lightly and sucking. Making his marks on her, that would last into the next day little ripe love bites against her skin. 

Hermione reached a hand down, tugging at the back of his head, trying to bring him closer, right where she wanted him to be. It was punctuated with little noises of surprise or a sigh of contentment when he kissed over a place his teeth had sunk into moments before. It was everything. Waves of pleasure and the passion that rolled off of him continuously. People might not think if it initially but Severus Snape was a feeling man, it was buried beneath logic and rational thought, but it was there. Hermione ached for it. Simply burned to have that feeling directed at her. All of it, as much as she was able to take and then she would give her own emotion back if he wished. Feeling his breath caress her just there, had a tingle run up her spine. A gasp forced out of her when his lips found her centre. "Oh, god…" she mumbled, one hand firmly planted on the counter to keep her there, the other in his short hair. 

"Not god," he said against her, and the sensation reverberated over her. 

"Severus!" 

He hummed in appreciation, taking her bud between his lips and suckling at his lightly, dipping lower, his tongue teasing at her entrance then back up to her bundle of nerves. On and on in a maddening cycle that had Hermione aching to be filled. Crying out and moaning with little control. Merlin, but it felt good.

"Sev-verus-" she choked out, eyes pressed closed, lights dancing behind them, "Severus, please!" A command, a shout. 

Latching onto her clit, Severus took it upon himself to double his efforts, flicking it beneath his tongue, and pressing two fingers inside of her, crooking them towards him and hitting that spot at the top, where it felt different from the rest of her. Hermione was panting and babbling nonsensically. She bit down on her bottom lip, and she might have tasted blood, the sensation was so intense that Hermione simply didn't know how to manage it all, to stay put and not fly. "Yes! Oh...oh don't stop! Yes... Severus!" 

He could feel her fluttering around his fingers, Severus moved faster, he wanted the climax to make her head spin. Not just a moment of pleasurable fluttering, no, a full shaking sensation that reached out and grabbed her. A moment later, Hermione let out a long moan, calling his name out into the room. Severus licked her through her orgasm, slowly as she shouted and simply shook above him, holding her in place with fingers that would surely bruise her with the effort he had to put in to keep her from falling from the height. Confident that she would not fall Severus stood and allowed her to collapse head against his shoulder and held her. 

Hermione panted, "that was amazing." 

"I try," he smirked. 

Hermione chuckled, almost sounding a bit manic. "God…" 

"Shall we watch that film?" he asked after a moment. 

Pulling back, she looked at him with big brown eyes, "but you-" she motioned to his tented trousers, unable to articulate. 

"Perhaps later." He waved her off, and Hermione didn't know how to respond, she had never been with a man that pleasured her and expected nothing in return. It worried her slightly, did he not want her? No, his erection had to be proof that was untrue, but still, it was strange. He helped her down, and they set about placing clothes back on.

…

On the sofa, Hermione wanted to sit close to him. To snuggle up and rest her head on his shoulder, the problem was, she didn't know how he would react. As far as she had ever known him, he didn't like to be touched, and Hermione didn't want to make him uncomfortable. Was it okay since they were dating? Or did he just really not want to cuddle with anyone? How did one go about broaching such a subject without seeming incompetent or other? Maddening. 

Her thoughts were broken when he turned to her, "Is there something the matter?" 

"Oh!" she squeaked, "no, no. Just uh, thinking is all." 

"Loudly," he snorted. His eyes said ' _ tell me _ .'

"Do you… well, can I cuddle you," she sighed when it finally came out, she sounded ridiculous. 

A hearty laugh escaped him at this, one that made the couch shake a bit beneath them. It even had Hermione giggle a little through her nerves. Severus opened his arm with a small upturn of his lips and Hermione took up his offer, with a small sheepish smile. 

"I appreciate you asking, it isn't often that people realise others have boundaries, but for the record, you can do so at any time." 

Hermione hid her own smile in his jumper and settled in to continue the film. 

...

In such a rush they were to find out the two of them were actually the same people they had been bonding with for months, Severus and Hermione forgot who they were dealing with, if slightly. Severus was unused to being always around another human. Hermione was in love with having him near her, but the truth was she wanted a bit of alone time, neither knew how to say it. Both introverted individuals and worried about upsetting the other to boot, given their past history… it was well, a bit nerve-wracking. Severus had no want for her to think that he didn't want to be around her that was not the case at all, it was merely that he wished to be alone, work on his novel or just read a book. Reading next to Hermione was a dream, but he didn't want to divulge just yet that he enjoyed having a bath now and then while reading on his own. That was for later, much later in a relationship. 

Mad. Hermione was going a bit insane, Severus was an immaculate man, to that she was most grateful. Meticulous in cleaning his flat and placing things where they needed to go, that said, she was as well equally as neurotic in her tendencies. The big problem was that neither of them did these things in the exact same way. Twice she had found her packet of tea sachets in a separate cupboard from the one that she used for them. And her body wash had been moved to the opposite side of the shower. Incidentally where his usually sat, in  _ his _ flat. It was when she was staring at the pair of knickers he had kindly folded with her laundry in the wrong drawer that she lost it. Producing a little sound in the back of her throat that most likely only dogs could hear she tried to set everything to rights. All the while berating herself for being so ridiculous, he had been putting away her laundry for  _ Merlin's sake. What kind of sweet guy did that? _

Once finished, she yanked out her mobile (when they didn't know if the other was home, they had taken to texting). 

_ H: I may be coming down with something, don't want to get you sick, let's reschedule?  _

Guilt rolled about in her lower belly at the thought that she had lied to him, but she couldn't feel completely bad, not when there was trash telly and wine to supplement her evening alone. 

Severus nearly banged his head against the wall when he saw the message, he too had been meaning to try something of the like. Now he felt the obligation to go to her and ensure that she was alright. It wasn't just obligation he didn't want her to be in pain, not at all and he wanted to take care of her. There was only the little thing of feeling like he was going to explode from lack of time by himself. Gathering the potions he went through the floo to give them to her, what he found instead of a sick Granger, was Hermione dancing about the kitchen, seemingly pouring rum into a blender, with music turned way up, if he backed out now she wouldn't be able to hear, but then she turned. Hermione's eyes went wide, and her hands flew up (thankfully not holding the glass bottle any longer). 

"Severus" her mouth made the shape of his name, but he heard nothing, she cut the music. 

Snape knew precisely what was going on, and he smirked inside, on the outside he was cool as a cucumber, holding up the potions. 

"Oh… well, I…" 

He did his best scowl at her, setting the potions on the island and folding arms over his chest, raising that eyebrow at her. 

"Severus, I- I needed some time alone… I am sorry…" Hermione hung her head, her blush going up her cheeks. "I didn't mean to lie, well, I just needed to be alone for a bit, and it made- well I just didn't know how to tell you that…" Glancing up at him she looked as if she might cry and Severus was immediately standing next to her, the mask of meanness gone. 

"I was only joking you. I too, was feeling some needed personal time was due." 

"You were?" Hermione allowed herself to be pulled into his chest, smelling the scent of his shirt. 

He nodded and pressed a kiss atop her head, "if you have not noticed I like my solitude as well, now that is not to say that I don't like you, quite the contrary, but I think now that I have seen this. I know that you feel the same. Next time let us both just tell one another, hmm?" 

Hermione nodded and accepted the kiss he placed on her lips. 

…

Knitting group was Hermione's turn yet again. Now that school was in session it wasn't possible for Minerva to really host all that well. Ginny was staying at Grimmauld Place, but Harry would always be there in the evenings, and he had a habit of listening in on their gossip. Fine and all, but he was a bloody Auror, and if Hermione had ever wanted to hex someone illegally well then she didn't need him overhearing it. Though the person she had been meaning to hex for a long while now had moved into a different, less violent role. Severus Snape had traded in being first in line for her most nasty spell to possibly being suffocated by her though not maliciously, more by sitting on his face. One was far more pleasant than the other. Preparing for knitting night now had the added bonus of Severus coming with her to shop, at least she could talk to him about potion theory whilst she combed the aisles. 

It was bloody freezing outside, and the December evening was almost enough to make Hermione cancel the whole shebang, hole up in her flat and let Snape get her nice and warm. Alas, it was not possible, bundled up against the weather Hermione apparated to the spot they had set to meet each other outside the Tesco's Hermione had found out a while back that he also frequented. This time would hopefully be more pleasant at any rate. 

Severus was already leaning against a wall in the alley when she popped into existence. "Don't understand warming charms then?" He looked her extra warm wardrobe up and down. "Or do you just rather enjoy covering half your face with that truly massive scarf?" The last bit was said with faux wonder as he pulled her closer to him and pretended to search through the layers of fluffy scarf to find her lips, which he did. Sucking on her lips, coaxing her tongue out to tangle with his, then retreating too soon, after nipping at her bottom lip. "There are many ways I could think of to warm you, but I am dating an old woman." 

Hermione pretended to be appalled at his notion that she was old for her knitting habits. "If I am old sir, then you-"

"Ah, ah, ah. Let us perhaps negate stating the obvious, it is enough that I must enter the store and everyone there see how luck has for some reason decided to smile on an old, sullen man." This time he actually winked at the end, and Hermione had to blink. W _ as she dreaming? Was this really Severus Snape?  _

"Come on," she murmured, taking his hand and tucking it in close to her side. "Your fingers are ice, those warming charms doing you any good?" She felt the ripple of magic as he recast it, and over her as well. 

When they entered the shop, Hermione finally saw him in the light, noticing that he looked tired, but when she tried to bring it up whilst they were shopping, he deflected. Something was bothering him, but he was doing a decent job of hiding it. As they were leaving the cheese area, Severus placed the one he had picked up before when they were last here together, though not _ together _ , and put it in her trolley. 

"It really is good," he mumbled. That was the most he had spoken in a bit, and Hermione frowned. When it was just the two of them, he was reasonably talkative, not verbose, but still, if he had something to say he would do so. 

"Is anything-" Hermione started when they were in the alley and had shrunk the bags. 

"I need to get back to the lab, there is a potion under stasis," he leaned in and kissed her lightly. "Have a good time knitting, granny," he smirked, giving her bum a squeeze and popped away. 

Hermione sighed, even if he was trying to hide it, something was wrong. 

…

"You and Harry are hosting the Christmas party this year?" Asked Angelina amidst a stitch to a long puke green scarf that George swore was his favourite colour. 

Ginny nodded, "we decided to give mum and dad a bit of a break, besides, we really wanted to show everyone what we have done to the house." 

Hermione had known about this plan, but she had also known that it would be changing tradition and generally the gathered didn't love that. To be completely honest, Hermione wasn't sure that Molly was still on board by the looks of it and the huff she made in response to the whole thing. 

"So," said Minerva after a moment, "are you going to be bringing your new beau?" 

Hermione's face went red. 

"You are keeping him from all of us, and it just won't do," added Molly. Seeming less sullen, miraculously. 

Luna piped up, "I think Hermione is just biding her time." 

_ That was precisely spot on Luna _ , Hermione thought as the conversation drifted, not to mention that he will be there. 

…

It was hard to say exactly why the two of them were adamant about not telling anyone. There was worry, but also there was just the uncertainty of it all. That's what was killing Hermione the most, telling people signalled some form of real commitment, thus far Severus seemed to be in a constant state of in-between. Not that he said it outright, she just felt it and in his actions especially suggesting they wait, well it was eating away at her. What first seemed a good idea, now looked as if it was going to be something of a trial. A little voice in her head told her that it would be best to wait things out, see where everything was going, not just jump in and get angry, but that voice of logic was crushed rather easily in matters of love, or so Hermione knew from past experiences. 

…

Minerva knew something was up with him. Severus could tell when they had tea, she kept smirking and thinking he wouldn't notice, asking questions that were very explicitly poised. Still, he was able to with any hope steer her away from that and toward his most recent issue. His boss was a right witch. After the war, the Ministry had offered him the job as the head of the potions department, he had declined. It was not in his nature to nurture young people as had been proven, and that would mean trying to supervise and teach apprentices and employees alike. Not a good time. No, he had requested instead that he be a consultant to the Head and would mostly do his own brewing and research for the Ministry. This determined he didn't do as much experimenting as Severus would have liked, but it also meant that he had the spare time to write. Now, that Lucile Waldroop had been put in as head of the department, he regretted the decision. 

His new boss didn't like him, not wholly shocking as most people didn't. It was more acute than that though, Lucile had come onto him, and he had tried to neutrally stop her advances, it seemed that now she made it a vendetta against him. She also didn't consult him as was in his job description, that was her freedom, but it meant that the lab was in a constant state of peril recently. Lucile was a bloody blundering idiot. How she passed the training was beyond him. That had been on his mind, worry, confusion, wondering if he should quit his job. Severus could, he had the money, with the Order of Merlin and the funds that Albus had left him. Not to mention the teaching salary that he had barely used for a long time. He wanted to weigh the pros and cons, talk to someone about it, but he didn't want Hermione to think he was some bum, she was always so productive and ' _ go get em' _ , he wanted her to think of him as being productive and fulfilled. Though Severus didn't feel entirely satisfied with work and she was bound to notice. 

On top of that, the illustrious Mr Potter had informed him by owl a few days before that when cleaning out Grimmauld Place there had been a few artefacts of his mothers, as well as photographs that Snape may want. It had been a jolt to the senses like Severus had not felt in a very long while. The idea of being brought back, even by a photo of his childhood, of Lily twinged uncomfortably in his gut. Gods but he didn't want to dredge all that up. It felt like an anvil had set itself on his chest ever since he received the missive. Like all of his past mistakes and anxieties were about to come hurtling back. Just when he was happy and feeling more content. There was a part of him that whispered it would make him feel better to see the photos, but the other part of him, well it just didn't agree. That was in the past for a reason, it was his faults, his sorrows and his greatest mistakes.

Minerva listened to him and offered up a bit of advice, leaving Severus still unsure, but she had to get back to the school. To his surprise, the woman leaned in and gave him a hug before stepped back toward the floo, "Severus, I think you know what you need to do, but you are trying to cover it up. We will talk more on Saturday at the party." Then she was gone. 

Severus snarled at the dying green flames then straightened his shirt, insufferable woman. Deep down, it had been nice to have an older… friend? Validate him and care about him.  _ Wait, and she said party? _ Severus checked the calendar that sat on his wall in his study. Bollocks. It was a week and a half before Christmas, and there was the annual Order Christmas party. He had effectively just told Minerva that he would go but not saying anything to the contrary.  _ Damn that woman _ .


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, we are getting closer here. Thank you as usual for all the sweet words, they are very appreciated.   
After this story finishes, I have another one ready to post, but I was wondering, what do you guys look for in fics? What is your favourite to plots to read? Mostly I'm interested haha. Anyway, enjoy!  
xoxo!

They agreed to meet at the party separately. This plan had Hermione in a bloody tizzy the whole day long. Of course, they had talked about not telling anyone, but it just seemed odd at this point. The detrimental, albeit insecure part of her brain, said Severus was fed up with her. That was that he was trying to let her down easy, distance himself. It felt like the whole week they had barely uttered one word to each other. Nothing of substance at least. Christmas Eve was Monday, and the two hadn't even talked about if they were doing anything or not.  _ Was it too soon to invite him round to her parents? _ Well, she wasn't going to find out if he broke up with her that was for sure. Hermione was well aware that this was madness, and she was being stupid, but that didn't seem to be stopping her. In school, Severus had despised her, and until recently she thought that was a trend that would continue. 

Sighing noisily Hermione finished placing the last touches on her makeup. Taking a long hard look at herself. She was 28. That was okay, great even. Successful with lovely friends, hobbies. Possessing of the ability to easily navigate her way through life without dying unnecessarily. That was something that not many people could say, Harry for one. All of that mattered, of course, nothing could very easily make it not matter. Coupled with all of that though, Hermione had begun to appreciate Severus's presence in her life. Even before she knew that it was him. He wasn't what she had always expected, but he was indeed what she wanted and needed.

Studying her reflection, Hermione began to notice the imperfections there, stomach wasn't quite as taut as it had been. Her hair had a few stray bits of grey that she charmed or pulled out. All of that was simply a part of life, and yet Hermione was beginning to think she wasn't sure if she could deal with all the changes.  _ Was she able to feel happy as she was? _

Hermione was attractive that much was real, and she knew it. Not the most stunning in the room usually, but a pleasant natural beauty. Still, these doubts were always something she feared and worried about. Hermione absolutely hated not feeling confident in herself. Mostly because it was a waste of her precious time.

Squaring her shoulders, Hermione adjusted her skirt. She had chosen the outfit as they would be mostly inside and her legs would not freeze off. It was a short black skirt with tights, and a thin sequined jumper of emerald green, the tasteful little bobbles on it were gold. Tucking her freshly tamed hair behind her ears to show off a pair of sparkly earrings, Hermione was ready. Donning outerwear, she headed for the door. Hoping that apparation would not mess up her hard work. 

…

The moment he noticed her Severus wanted to pull Hermione into his arms and kiss her, tell her she looked incredible. All the sappy love soaked things that he used to despise, and all of them entirely accurate. Yet he couldn't, and it was his own damn fault as well. That put him in a sour mood alone, not even mentioning being poked and prodded at by Molly when he came in. Told he needed to eat more, and having a sweet shoved between his lips. Then he had been corned by Potter for a conversation about something or other regarding Godric Hollow. Apparently, the boy had been fixing it up, Severus wasn't really paying attention, more interested in discreetly watching the younger woman across the room throw her head back and laugh at something the redhead said. Her curls tumbled from her shoulders when she did that, looking like a chestnut waterfall… and green really was a lovely colour on her.

"...and there are some pictures that you may want copies of-" 

"What?" Asked Snape finally tuning in. 

"Photos? Of you and my mum," Harry looked puzzled, having had no idea that Snape had not really been paying attention to his prattle at all. "They look like they were taken by my grandad maybe?" 

Severus's mouth closed in a tight line as he thought on this, it had to have been when he was relatively young, perhaps after their first year at Hogwarts. The Evans family had been kind to him, and Severus would always, always be grateful of that, but he wasn't sure that he wanted photos such as those around him, it may just bring up things that were long forgotten and better left where they were buried. 

"I'll think on it, Potter." Inclining his head Severus went toward the food table to get a drink, he wished he could bring one to Hermione. Sulking wasn't exactly going to do him any good though, so he might as well not be so whingey and at least enjoy the booze.

Snape's gloominess seemed to seep into his internal thoughts and as he sat there, leant against the wall sipping at his overly alcoholic Christmas punch Severus was able to watch Hermione interact with others there at the party. She was a bright spot amongst the room, everyone wanted a piece of her, and she was more than willing to allow them to get it. Bouncing from conversation to conversation, there was no way that anyone could feel left out of her comments. Despite his knowledge that really she preferred her own space, and didn't love crowds, she was just good with them. Far better than he was. Taking the time to make sure whoever she was speaking with felt special in their own way. It was part of her charm.

Then there was bloody Charlie Weasley, trailing behind her like some lost puppy dog. That's what set Severus to downing the rest of that glass and getting another. Then switching to the spiked eggnog as well. He hadn't thought there would be jealousy of a redhead that was absurd. Severus's own hair might be disgusting (though he secretly hoped that wasn't the case anymore), but at least the colour was palatable. 

Another gulp of the spicy liquid, Hermione threw her head back and laughed. Long curls trailing down her back and shaking with her laughter. Severus thought of the sensation, the feel of her tresses between his fingers. Shoving his hand in them as he pumped in and out of her came back to him. The look in her eyes when she climaxed shuddering in his arms. It almost made him use his rational mind, almost. 

Instead, he decided to think like an idiot. He didn't use his brain, why would he? She would leave just as everyone else did when there was someone better, more attractive, more social even. Severus was scared of telling people about them because he knew he was a step down for her, many levels down. He was sure that the second oldest Weasley boy would flaunt her around like a prized pony.  _ That isn't what Hermione would want _ , a voice whispered in his head. Another drink and he was far too gone to actually listen to that voice talking sense. Potter had brought up Lily, and all Severus could think of was her leaving him for another. James Potter, the more attractive, stronger, wealthy wizard that Severus would never be. He, some stupid little boy from the wrong side of the tracks one that had been a fun plaything, but was never intended to be a long term affair. He knew that was further than he should have gone about Lily. She had not meant to simply pass him up for James, she was human, she loved someone else. Besides, Severus had done the unimaginable, he had called her… he degraded her with that word. How was he supposed to be trusted with Hermione's heart if he could say such a thing? 

Throwing back the last of his drink, which had somewhere along the way turned into firewhiskey Severus clenched a fist and retreated further into a corner. Harder to find, for anyone. He was sulking, and he knew it, there was that sane, logical part of him that realised it was childish, that he was far too old to be trying and failing to deal with his feelings this badly. 

Right now, he was jealous. That was the word for it, the green-eyed monster that stole his mother's life and ruined his father, the two of them always wanting what they couldn't have, what they weren't willing to try hard enough for. What they weren't worthy of. It had always been in the back of Severus's mind, he wasn't worthy; there wasn't enough good in him to actually reap anything worthwhile.  _ Who was he kidding?  _ All he was worth was a quick shag and in the dark no less. He had spent years thinking that Hermione Granger was irritating, but really she was everything, that had always been there, whether he knew it at the time or not, it was apparent now. Especially since he had been with her, gotten to know her, Hermione Granger was incredible, unbelievable. Severus didn't deserve her. Part of him knew that this was a byproduct of the alcohol and Potter bringing up Lily, but that didn't make him try to rationalise it further. 

After staring into his glass for a long while Severus chanced a look at the woman in question. Finding her looking at him. Not the Weasley man but at him, Severus Snape, her eyes held a heavy and hot lust, and something warmer. Gaze like oozing, dripping caramel, especially in the low golden lights. Hermione was looking at him like he was all she wanted. Seeing that, the look she gave him instead of stilling his contempt for his lot, it fueled it. Severus felt in his very soul that those eyes should be seen by someone worthy and that someone just couldn't be him.

He looked away, taking a swig of his whiskey and staring at the wall at the other side of the room. It was a plain wall the only difference between it and the others was that the wallpaper looked to be older from the time when the house was owned and run by the Black family. Maybe 18th century? He really was pissed if he was thinking about the origins of the wallpaper. By gods, it was time to leave. 

This had been festive, and all, but Severus was not about to get into a conversation with someone at this point if he did it would be very, very bad indeed. That was certain. Taking a deep breath, he finished his drink and pushed away from the wall. Hermione was too good for him, and it had taken too much alcohol for Severus to actually admit that to himself, he had been lying to himself about it. Ignoring the facts and simply enjoying what was going on. A voice whispered to him that _it was true,_ _he could be happy in the moment_. Severus snorted aloud at the absurd voice. 

Walking a bit precariously to place his glass on the table, Severus caught Hermione's eyes yet again. This time her brow was furrowed, and she looked as if she had been studying him. Her honey eyes peering into his very core.  _ Okay, that was definitely the alcohol talking 10000%, slow the tragic poeticism _ . Again he couldn't hold her there, he could not keep her eyes with his, he felt unworthy. Stepping and swaying on his feet Severus saw Minerva approaching him with a look of worry, she was not wrong to be concerned, the sane part of him realised that he had not imbibed that much alcohol in a very long time. Usually, in an effort to feel numb. Minerva had seen him after the war, and it was awful, there were times when he would spend full days drinking enough to be entirely under the influence for as long as he could. 

"Severus." It wasn't a question but a statement of her getting his attention. 

Everything he felt was double fold and again looking into Minerva's face, the face of his friend he felt inadequate she would not want him to be with her precious Gryffindor girl, that was utterly ridiculous. 

"Severus," she said again. 

He looked at her and made some grunt of an answer.

"I think it may be time you are headed home, I'll take you." she wasn't angry or upset it seemed, her wrinkled brow was lined the more with worry, and her eyes shone with fear of a relapse that she saw plausibility of in him. 

Severus shook his head and scowled at her. "Minerva I'm fine, but I do think that I will take my leave of this… get-together." Making to go toward the door she placed a hand on his chest. 

"I think apparating isn't the safest choice at this time Severus." Her eyes were severe, and he almost cowered at them as if he were a boy in school again.  _ Was that what Hermione felt when he looked at him? Her old greasy, hateful potions professor?  _ Disgusting. 

"I'll be fine." 

Hermione seemed to appear out of nowhere, "I'll help Severus to the apparation spot." 

The older woman looked at her with mild confusion, then seemed to see something in Hermione's eyes that allowed her leave to do this.

"No need." Severus would not be treated like a child. He didn't need her, he could not get used to such a thing, or it would surely come back to bite him in the end. 

"Yes. You need." Hermione's eyes were blazing, they were smouldering, toasting under intense heat. It made him ache, painfully aware of the erection that was trying to crop up. A startling idea when he thought of how much he had drunk.  _ Gods, he might actually love this woman _ , he had to stop. He would get hurt. 

"No. I would rather splinch myself than have you worry for me," he had not meant to say that. It had slipped from his lips as if there was no other way to address the situation. 

Minerva closed her eyes, her mouth twisted in a grimace and Hermione looked as if he had slapped her across the face. Severus knew at that moment it was Lily all over again, or it felt like it at the moment. Perhaps it was the drink, or just his brain overwhelmed with all of it, but he could not differentiate just then. It was all his fault, it always had been, and it seemed that it always would be. He wasn't capable of forming attachments and not ruining them. 

Minerva must have been livid, though she did not argue or stop him. Everyone, for the most part, didn't really pay attention too many people milling about as Severus forced his way through the crowd and out the front doors. Suddenly there was nothing he needed more than to get some fresh air, he needed to think. Not envision the hurt he had just seen in Hermione's eyes. As the icy wind caught him in the face so did the realisation that he may have ruined everything he had been trying to build with Hermione and yet Severus couldn't bring himself out of his wallowing to believe that it wasn't for the best. 

...

Hermione tugged her coat off the peg, catching the door before it could shut and followed him out. There was rage and hurt in Hermione at that moment. She didn't know what to say or if she wanted to cry, scream all she knew was that she didn't want to talk to him, but she needed to. As the door shut behind her, she almost winced at the loud sound that it made, and the cold that immediately burned her cheeks and made her shiver as she hurried down the steps and into the light snow to follow the surly wizard. 

"What are you doing?" asked Severus dumbly, he almost winced at himself and his ill-timed question.

"I am making sure you don't fucking splinch yourself or freeze to death. Sorry," words dripping with sarcasm. "I get that you would rather that than have me touch you, but my conscience just couldn't take it." Her words came out in a sneer that mirrored the dark tone he sometimes employed. For the briefest moment, he caught a look of pain in her eyes but then it was gone. "Let me make sure you get home alright and then I'll leave you be." 

He didn't say anything, just stood there staring at her.  _ She was still willing to help you get home after what you said to her, you stupid arse. _ His drunken brain taunted him. "I will be fine on my own." 

"Jesus!" She stared at him with hands on her hips, "are you serious right now?" 

Severus's blood pumped in his veins, and he felt his jaw twitch at her words. "This is absurd." 

"Yes it fucking is, isn't it!" she shot back, "let's see how easily we can fuck Hermione Granger, let's get her attached and then decide to be an arse again. Was this all some fucking game to you?" 

To his utter embarrassment, Severus couldn't actually form a reply. 

"Nevermind. I should have seen this coming from a mile away, that is why you didn't want to tell anyone." Her face fell just for a moment, so he could see the hurt that rested just behind the steel in her eyes. "Well," she scoffed, "I suppose it should have been obvious given our history." 

"As if I am the only one to blame for THAT." Somehow his jaw kept moving despite Severus really not wanting it to. 

Hermione sighed, it was an angry breath that released straight from her nose with a noisy burst of air. Severus idly half expected steam to rise from her like a dragon, but after that had passed, she seemed to sober a bit from her anger. "Severus, I think you are too pissed to grasp what is going on we should have this conversation later." 

To this, he reared back a bit, "don't patronise me, Miss Granger, if you are only going to send me away, thank you for the false care in protecting my sensibilities, but I am fine with blunt words. As you can see, I have full command of them myself. I wound people as you well know, drunk or not my words bite, they are usually as beastly and inconsiderate as I am spiteful." 

There was a pause, and Hermione looked as if she had just indeed had the surprise of her life. "Severus, this is absurd," this time it was very nearly shouted as she came up closer to him. Then she said in a whispered rush, "why are you being such a… a git!" 

"You are acting like a child." His voice was slick, calm, laced with icy tendrils of anger, anything else in his demeanour seemed indifferent even as Severus still felt himself swaying a bit to keep steady on his feet. 

Then she took on something, perhaps it was resolved settling over her shoulders. Suddenly Hermione saw his point in all this. To drive her away before he could do something worse and she would go away on her own. Hermione employed a different tactic at this realisation. "Of course, silly Miss Granger, acting like the little swot that she still apparently is. Though I didn't hear you have any qualms about that when you were fucking me against my shower wall yesterday morning. Is that all this is? Is that why you wanted it kept a secret?" 

"Do not. Put words in my mouth. I… you- you're too good for me, can't you see that? I'm trying to protect you from their opinions."

A frown crossed her lips, drooping from the excited and angry way to one that was a bit more demure. "Severus, please don't think that. I don't!"

"No, of course, you don't! You just assume I am some sort of… I am… as I have proven the worst individual to  _ use  _ you-" He floundered for the words, then looked at her, tears were shining. 

Hermione shuffled a bit, he hadn't shared this with her, there was still a barrier there. She wasn't angry; he had been distant from her. She only wanted to help, this was obviously the byproduct of something else, the man wasn't usually given to losing control, she should have known something was wrong.

Severus was far too irritated now to stop his tirade of feelings that were usually held at bay. Still, his voice came out calm, "I should have realised that I would have been untrustworthy to you as I am everyone else. I usually plan for that, of course, but for some reason, I had convinced myself that you would see past it." 

Hermione looked as if he had slapped her, "I do! But you fucking bottle up your emotions and don't tell me things, you have been acting strangely for a week, but I didn't know why, because you didn't talk to me about how you felt." 

"No one cares how I feel!" 

"I do!" 

He stared at her scowling, the look in his eyes one of such disbelief. 

"I care how you feel Severus," she reiterated. "You are not unemotional I have seen it and felt it." Hermione pressed a hand to her chest and looked into his eyes, "I love you. I know that I shouldn't be saying that, but it's true. You mean the world to me, just as you are, no hurtful thing you say will make me feel otherwise." She stepped closer, and since she had begun talking, he moved for the first time, stepping back from her outstretched hands, which she dropped and looked down. Then back up tears tracking down her face. "I know you are trying to protect yourself, but I won't hurt you, not intentionally." 

A strange look crossed his face, he felt it more than saw it of course, but he knew it was both consternation and anguish. He had felt them before, just not together as such. Then he turned apparating away with a heavy heart, only to land unceremoniously on the floor in his flat. Knees smacking uncomfortably against the hard floor. Dropping his head in his hands Severus let out a dry sob, realising as if for the first time what he had let himself spiral into that night. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> XOXO! Love you all.

The flat was mostly dark and quiet when Severus slipped through the floo, a hangover draught and personal pep talk later. For about the 10th time in the last few hours he tried to convince himself that it was all over, he had blown it, and he should just quit now. There was no reason Hermione should ever even speak to him again, but Severus had forced himself to go to her. Even if she did push him away, at least he would have the knowledge that he apologised, and at least tried to make amends. That was the only good thing he had ever done when it came to Lily. She hadn't accepted his apology, but he attempted to give it. There was that. Then again, even his thoughts going to the past was part of the problem. Hermione wasn't Lily, which was bloody marvellous, really. Still, he had been assuming things regarding his experiences with Lily, that wasn't fair to Hermione. So Severus sighed quietly and decided it was time to get a move on. Better late than never. 

If it weren't for the water he could hear running Severus would think that she had already gone to bed. Instead, as he crept up the short set of stairs, he listened to the soft noises of classical music and the slosh of someone moving in the bath. Snape paused, not sure how welcome he was to see her in a state of undress at this point. Especially when a few hours before he had been pissed out of his mind, acting like a complete and total prat. Indeed, prat was a kinder word than he deserved.

"Severus, I felt you enter my wards. I am not the great Potions Master, but I have a decent sense of magic. Stop creeping in the hallway, you ridiculous man." 

Severus rolled his eyes but did as was commanded of him. Hermione mostly concealed in bubbles, just the hint of pink skin peeking out here or there all the really enjoyable bits well and covered. The room was dim except for the candles that peppered the space. It was obviously done in an effort to be relaxing. The scents that carried through the air were that of lavender and patchouli. It was somewhat intoxicating, setting him slightly off balance. Severus had to stop himself from letting his mouth hang open; she was fucking gorgeous. Her hair was mostly piled up on her head, but there was a stray curl, loose and damp, sticking to the side of her long neck. He felt his trousers get tighter than they had been previously. He was thankful for the frock coat. 

Hermione had her eyes shut, but she knew that he had stepped into the room. "I should have understood that you were upset and listened, not become so angry. It didn't help the situation at all." Hermione took a deep breath, "I know that you suffered more than I could ever understand Severus. That kind of thing doesn't just leave physical scars, but psychological ones as well."

This admission floored Severus. Here he had thought that going there he would be told to leave and never come back, yet she was not expecting an apology from him. She was saying one herself. "You were right to question me, I am not good at expressing how I feel openly with another person, and I am far too defensive." These were universal truths about him as a human being, and they weren't going away soon. He had been trying since the war to bring down some of those inhibitions, yet things still crept up. "And I am a bitter and maudlin drunk," Severus added the last for good measure. 

"I know these things, and I still didn't think at the moment to consider them, that was doing a disservice to you, Severus." Finally looking at him, he could see regret in her eyes. "Please forgive me and allow me to do better in the future to remember who you are, and your limits. As I hope you always will with mine." 

Bloody incredible woman, she was, also insane perhaps. No one had ever thought to remember what he had been through, or his personality in general. "Hermione, this was all a spiral of my own doing. You needn't ask for forgiveness; Merlin knows it's myself that should." 

"Forgiven." 

"I am not good at this, and I fear that the past came to me at an inconvenient time, and I admit myself to be scared of who I am, or rather who I am not. You deserve-" 

"I said forgiven Severus, and I don't think you are in a position to tell me what I deserve, I am very capable of that." Her voice was definite and final. It didn't mean that there wouldn't be more conversation, he knew her well enough to know that, but for the moment, nothing else was necessary. 

Severus nodded and stepped further into the room, stooping down next to the bath. Hermione sat up a bit to accept his kiss, revelling on the familiar, warm taste of him. "We will tell anyone you wish," he said when they pulled away. Before she could argue, he said, "I don't want to hide something that means so much to me. I… care very deeply for you, Hermione." It was hard for him to say that. It was not easy to admit to feeling for someone like that. There had been too much heartbreak, too many burns and scars to his already chinked armour. 

At that, she let out a sigh and sat back into the bubbles. She knew the test of his that it was to say such a thing that was the benefit of knowing him through writing first; Severus was more open with written word rather than his spoken one. Hermione was grateful to have been privy to one before the other. It gave her precious insight to his mind, which was otherwise unattainable. 

Severus brushed a fingertip over her cheek and then lifted himself meaning to retreat, "I'll leave you to it." 

Hermione's eyes opened, "oh, well you could- I mean you don't have to, if you want, we could talk, I don't mind the company." 

The smile that took his face couldn't be held at bay, Severus nodded, casting a cushioning charm on her hard floor. Shirking off his coat and rolling up the sleeves of his button-down to rest his back against the tub. Severus let his fingertips trail in the bubbles. They chatted a bit about the night, made a plan to go shopping in the next few days even if it would be madness. 

After a while, quiet descended and Severus couldn't help but notices that the suds were dissipating, what was left clinging to her breasts and upper thighs, he licked his lips. Hermione's eyes tracked the motion. Picking up the hand that had been tracing her collarbone Hermione brought it to her lips, without much warning, she pulled his index finger between her lips and laved at it, sucking lightly, then harder. 

Severus groaned at the sensation which had blood shooting straight to his cock. His dark eyes flew open, full of lust he growled when her tongue flicked over the tip of his digit. With strength that Severus didn't realise was still within his capabilities, he stood and swept down, pulling her dripping out of the bath and into his arms. Her wet body soaking his white shirt, so it clung to his upper chest and arms. Hermione gasped and whimpered at the sheer display of masculine power. Somehow this man felt like clarity, but also a potent drug at the same time. 

Severus reached for a towel and began to dry her off. Catching a droplet from one breast and then the other, enjoying the soft sigh of arousal she gave as his lips brushed her collar bone. He took his time using the towel over her body, then he summoned her lotion from a cabinet and set to work with that as well. Rubbing it into any sore spots on her back and neck, Hermione loved to hold her tension there. Then her legs and feet. Severus kissed down from her thighs to her ankles, leaving a trail of fire that went straight between her legs. The softness of her thighs was perfect, she felt so completely and utterly woman beneath his touch, and Severus couldn't get enough. Hauling her again into his arms, his lips found hers. Severus expertly navigated his way to her bedroom without the full use of his eyes. 

Laying Hermione down on her front Severus continued his exploration of kisses. Brushing her damp hair aside, he kissed her nape and down her spine, taking care to ramp up the fire a bit by nipping here and there. She squirmed wantonly beneath his touch. Moaning when his lips reached her arse, Hermione arched. His mouth on sensitive skin at the back of her thighs and the soles of her feet. When he barely brushed his index finger down the line of her arse and between her nether lips, Hermione moaned into the sheets and thrust her hips toward the mattress. She couldn't see, but even the air told her that Severus was smirking at her display. Very carefully, he spread her legs, teasing with his finger, spreading her wet arousal. Hermione grunted in pleasurable response and again rutted her hips shamelessly against the sheets. Shifting her knees, so they were more raised and spread apart, Severus dipped his head down and licked some of the arousal spilling out. Again Hermione bucked and tried to calm her heavy breathing as he pulled away and moved back up her body, giving a small hint of a thrust against her backside as he went. 

"Do you know what I want?" His lips were just next to her ear, his breath ghosting over her cheek. 

Hermione shook her head, barely able to articulate anything more than a huff of air. 

"I have been waiting to have that delicious pussy over me. I want to taste you from below." 

The fact that Severus Snape could dirty talk like no other shouldn't have come as a surprise, but yet every time it happened, Hermione felt as if her stomach had risen into her throat. She shivered and forced her body to move out of sheer want alone. She wanted to taste him as well. Severus divested himself of the rest of his clothing and laid on his back before he could pull Hermione over him by the hips, she turned herself and grasped his cock in her hand. 

Grunting Severus still dragged her back toward his greedy mouth, muttering, "I see what you want, you little minx." 

Hermione didn't answer; instead, she swirled her tongue around him like a lolly and enjoyed the tremor that came from his groan and stimulated her core.  _ Oh, yes, this was something to be repeated.  _

Sensations of his tongue pleasuring her, as well as the incredible satisfaction she received sucking him, was almost too much. It was an excellent thing indeed (for many reasons) Hermione had never known her Potions Master's abilities at cunnilingus. She would have never received the marks she had. The ridiculousness of that thought didn't even surface as he doubled his efforts over her clit, sucking hard then transitioning to an almost gentle lapping sensation. It was laborious to keep a steady rhythm on his cock, and she didn't want him to think her head skills subpar. Unfortunately, when he thrust his tongue inside her once, and then again before continuing the lapping motion, Hermione had to pull off his member crying out and arching her back as her channel clenched and rippled with the force of her orgasm. All through this Severus continued to lick, slowing it down as she eased from her high. 

Hermione flopped to the side, ending up on her stomach, "fuck…" 

Humming from behind her, allowing her to catch her breath. Severus let her explicative to stroke his ego a bit. 

"Do you realise," she glanced over her shoulder, "you could win awards with that mouth." His deep rich chuckle made her shiver, then she added, "don't get any ideas though. That mouth is  _ mine _ ." 

Another chuckle and Hermione was ready for more. "Severusss," she felt his fingers teasing her again, "this would be a wonderful time for your self-control to go to hell… please get that gorgeous cock inside of me now." 

"Bossy witch," he replied, but she felt him move behind her, spreading her legs a bit and bringing himself to her entrance. 

Hermione got up on her forearms, and he placed his on either side of hers. The position felt very intimate. Hermione wasn't sure she had ever attempted it before. Sighing softly against her neck Severus eased into her body, kissing her neck and beginning to move with a rolling rhythm. With his whole body pressed up against hers, she felt safer than she ever had. Hermione didn't regret anything she had declared that day. He was  _ it _ , what she wanted and she would be damned if he let his own self harming thoughts get in the way of his happiness or hers. 

Snape's thrusts were more shallow than they might usually be, but his cock was hitting the perfect angle up inside her, bumping that pleasure spot over and over again. Hermione dropped her forehead to the mattress, trying her best to focus all on the sensations going on. Severus embedded inside her, the sheets teasing her clit every time he moved, and the scent of him as he laboured over her. Cedar and something more luxurious like amber, dark and thick around her. Hermione moaned low in the back of her throat, lifting her backside almost involuntarily. 

Severus lifted with her, onto his palms, shifting forward so he could drive into her harder and faster. There was tingling at the base of his spine. Severus tried to fight his release; the hotness of her imprisoning him was almost too much to manage. Especially as she whimpered below him, muttering his name over and over. Reaching around one of his hands found her breast. Plucking at the nipple, Hermione arched her back and cried out, just as Severus bit her shoulder where it met her neck. He too shouted her name as he pressed forward, now holding fast to her hips as she pulsed and writhed on his cock. His own pleasure was washing over him in hot waves of fire, almost painful in its intensity. 

When he finally came back to earth, Severus saw Hermione had twisted her head to look at him. She looked sated and sleepy but concerned as well. Dropping to the bed, they both turned on their sides to look at one another. Hermione reached a hand up and traced the little lines between his eyebrows. "You look almost like you're in pain when you come." She mused, still tracing lines and planes of his face. 

"I'm not," Severus muttered somewhat uncomfortably. No one had ever really drawn attention to that. In the spirit of being less prickly, he tried to reply without venom. "I have to say nothing quite compares to being inside you, perhaps it is simply so overpowering." 

She nodded slightly, leaning forward to kiss his nose. "I meant what I said, you know?" 

"Hmm?" He did know but feigned not to make the conversation more comfortable, help him get a grip of his feelings. 

"That I love you." Her hands dropped down and tangled through the dark hair on his chest, running over it with her fingers. "You made me love you through your words. I couldn't help it. We were so alike, and you made me feel wanted, special and accepted, you still do." She sighed and looked up into his obsidian eyes, which she had been avoiding, "I think love can grow into many things, and from many things. People give it too much power. If there is really love, then everything should be easy when you get down to it and set all the bullshit aside." 

Severus snorted, "profound." 

Hermione nodded, though, behind her sleepy eyes, he could see the slightest flicker of nerves there. "Goodnight Severus." 

"Goodnight Hermione." 

It wasn't that he didn't want to say it, and he was reasonably sure he had felt it, but the words wouldn't come, they scared him. The emotion behind them, the fact that Hermione was right and he had begun to love her before he even 'met' her was something Severus didn't quite understand and had never before experienced. He stayed awake long into the night, thinking about emotions and their pull in his life. 

…

When Hermione woke, it was to Severus curled around her, and in her brain, that was something she wouldn't mind repeating every day for the rest of her life. As she stirred, Hermione tried to think about how she was feeling. Severus hadn't admitted to loving her, and to Hermione's surprise, that didn't hurt her. He had emotion towards her, he had admitted to not wanting this to end, but she had to remember that the man was not the best at expressing himself. Sentiments had to come with difficulty. Hermione had a feeling that Severus hadn't been told he was loved often, or ever. They had time for all that, and she could be patient. 

Cognisance rapidly changed direction when Severus arched and pressed his morning erection against her arse. A sly smile on her face Hermione pushed back as well, meeting him thrust for thrust as he began to move against her unconsciously. One of his hands travelled up to palm her breast possessively, his other arm held her to him by the waist. It was oddly intimate to feel his passion through his sleep. The surge of arousal she felt coiled fast, as he rocked shallowly against her body, soft grunts and groans on his lips, and occasionally her name between them. At some point, she stretched and pressed further against him, lost to the moment then she felt her lover stiffen against her. Severus was awake. 

He tried to pull his hands away, and Hermione felt him take a breath in ready to mutter some apology. 

"Severus,  _ don't stop _ ," she held her palm over his where it lay on her breast and did so until she felt his hand relax beginning to knead again. The hand maintaining her hip moved down investigating how ready she was — groaning when he found her slick with need for him. 

"Gods, woman," he muttered and flipped her onto her back, Hermione instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him to enter her and he did with little ceremony. 

While most of their sex had been intense and drawn out, learning and understanding the needs of the other. This time was about desire and release. Both of them wanted one thing. Furiously kissing as they became a tangle of limbs, by the time both climaxed their bodies were damp with sweat, both breathing heavily. Again Severus had known precisely the kind of love she had needed from him and gave it tenfold. Still holding himself above her, Severus leaned down his eyes, not leaving hers until they must as their lips met. At the moment that was enough from him. There had been love in his eyes, Hermione knew, whether he could articulate it or not. 

…

"To be completely honest, I think everyone knows…" Ginny said quietly a bit later in the day. The two women had decided to get takeout and were currently lounging, half spread on both sides of Hermione's sectional. The coffee table littered with two partially-empty pizza boxes and packets of chocolates, as well as a bottle of red wine. 

"I kinda figured me chasing after him might be a dead giveaway." Hermione let her head fall back against the cushions and took another sip of her wine. It had been bound to get out eventually. When she looked back at her friend, the girl was grimacing slightly. "What?" Hermione sat up, adjusting her pink jogging bottoms. 

"I think everyone just sorta thought you had another epic row, and Charlie tried to go after you...Harry stopped him and sorta spilt the tea… to everyone in the room." Ginny had pulled a pillow up to half hide her face. 

"What!?" Hermione had expected speculation after that, but not Harry telling them exactly what had been going on. "What did he say?"

"Something about you two having a lovers tiff or something… there were some stunned looks. I really don't think he meant to. He was just trying to make sure Charlie didn't go out and piss Snape off more." 

Hermione began to chew her lip before she could think about what to say, the floo erupted. Severus strode out, looking a bit terrifying. His face calmed when he saw Hermione, but ramped back up at the sight of Ginny there as well. 

" _ Professor! _ - _ Severus! _ " Ginny and Hermione said at the same time. 

His brow drew together in consternation for a moment; then his face turned apathetic. "Well, it seems my stupidity got our secret outed." 

"You aren't and were not stupid Severus." Though Hermione was wondering who told him most of the Order now knew their little secret. 

He ignored her remark and instead began to pace very carefully, his footing sure over the floorboards and hands behind his back as if he were lecturing. "Minerva gave me a visit this morning. I don't doubt you should plan on her in the next day or so as well." 

Hermione's stomach did a couple of little flips, and Ginny shifted, no doubt realising that it was time to make herself scarce. Hopping up, Ginny brushed crumbs from her clothing and headed for the door, "I think I'll leave you to it. And yes Hermione before you ask I am sober enough to apparate." 

Hermione glared, not about to admit that she had been about to ask that of her friend. "Are you hungry?" Hermione asked when Ginny was gone. Severus shook his head, continuing to pace. 

"Severus," she knew her voice had come out winey, but she wanted to make sure he was okay. Patting the cushion next her Hermione stared at him until he finally rolled his eyes and took a somewhat stiff seat next to her. Hermione decided he looked too comfortable sitting there all business-like, and half laid herself across him. That got him to raise an eyebrow at her, disapproving of her childish behaviour. Smirking she heaved herself up to straddle his lap, running her fingers through his hair, moving to massage his neck and shoulders where she could reach lightly. 

Severus closed his eyes briefly until Hermione spoke, "why are you worried about people knowing Severus? I thought you wanted it last night."

He didn't answer right away. The silence stretched so long Hermione worried she might have misjudged all of it, and he actually was playing with her heart, or she had scared him with her declaration. Then finally his deep voice cut the silence, "I don't want anyone to think badly of you, and more than that, selfish as it may be," he paused, looking past her shoulder. "I don't want them to convince you that I am not worth your time." At this admission he closed his eyes, perhaps in remorse or embarrassment, Hermione couldn't quite tell. 

Very lightly she kissed his eyelids, one after the other, then his nose and then his lips lightest of all. Pulling back, she replaced her mouth with her fingertips just barely brushing over his thin lips. "To hell with any of their opinions." He snorted but didn't pull away like she thought he might. "And honestly Severus, I don't believe any of them are upset, they like you far more than you think they do." 

To that, he didn't seem to have a response. 

"Do you think I am incapable of knowing my own wishes?" 

Knowing exactly what she was doing, Severus finally shook his head. 

"Then nothing else should matter, I am assuming what you said a moment ago proves you want me?" As if to prove this, his eyes sharpened on hers. He pulled her against his chest, the other hand tangling in her hair and pulling her down for a kiss. 

When he allowed her air, Hermione laughed a bit breathlessly, "well then I think that's sorted, isn't it?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was meant to leave my house tonight, but there are snowbanks the size of Hagrids' outside (perhaps not quite that big, but close and it just keeps falling). Instead, I decided to post a chapter for you lovely lot!  
XOXO! 
> 
> ps, this is probably my favourite chapter...maybe haha I just adore it.

Flooing to the Burrow for knitting night was nerve-wracking at best. The women there immediately jumping Hermione for details about her relationship. To her surprise, no one had much ill to say. Minerva had her nose down, busily attending to her knitting from the get-go and avoiding the conversation in the room, while Hermione was interrogated. 

Plopping herself down in a mismatched green armchair next to Minerva, Hermione sighed. "You knew, didn't you?"

"I had my suspicions after the ball, I imagine." The older woman didn't look up from her knitting, but she smiled slightly. "And I knew far longer than that, how well suited the two of you might be if you would stop provoking one another for a moment."

Shaking her head, Hermione began to laugh, and her old Head of House joined in as well. If knitting group were anything to go by, no one that mattered would bat an eye to Severus and Hermione's relationship status. 

...

"Hey, I know I said I'd make dinner, but you know I really am horrible in the kitchen. I mean do you have some wish to be poisoned?" Hermione was facing an array of takeaway boxes, her back to the floo. "If that isn't a good enough excuse, I was swamped today, but I got your favourite spicy-" Turning, she stopped speaking abruptly, noticing Severus still stood before her fireplace holding a file box that looked to be carrying all the personal items from his office. "Severus...?"

"I quit." 

"Your job?" 

"What else would I be talking about?" Voice holding minimal maliciousness. 

"I'm not sure." 

Setting the box down, he descended heavily onto the sofa. "I hate it there. I have for some time." She didn't reply, instead sat next to him waiting. "Perhaps I was worried you would think me petulant, but gods I truly did hate it." Running a hand over his face, he sighed again. "I want to keep writing. I don't know when I will decide to publish my personal work if ever, but I know that it brings me happiness in some form." 

Hermione reached out a small hand and placed it over his where it rested on his knee. 

"A Potions Paragon asked me to write for them... I think I am going to accept." The deep voice carried little emotion one way or another, but Hermione knew that was because he was afraid of letting too much show "Research, travel, the works." 

With a squeal of delight, Hermione pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. "That is  _ INCREDIBLE _ ." 

Severus blinked at her. 

"You were far too good for that stupid job anyhow,  _ and  _ now I can actually give that bint a piece of my mind." 

"What?" He seemed pleased by the reaction but puzzled. 

"That horrible bitch you work for, she's awful. We have those ghastly Department Head meetings and god the woman is a terror. I even caught her talking about you once at the last one. She was flitting between how much of a git she thought you and how fit your arse was. It was a bloody miracle I didn't hex the insipid woman, but I didn't want to get you in trouble or something."

Severus reached forward and kissed Hermione hard on the mouth, she was surprised, but it changed quickly to enjoyment. 

When Hermione pulled away, she said, "I am so happy for you, Severus." 

...

They were to spend Christmas Eve with her parents, then Severus insisted on taking her to a ski resort for Christmas day and a short holiday. Hermione hadn't found the heart to tell him she had not been skiing in so long and Ginny had just put that on her profile to seem appealing. 

_ She could ski without too much trouble? Right? _ Plus it was a blissful mini-break with her sexy boyfriend — an odd but also heady thought, all holed up in a cabin with Severus Snape. Honestly, Hermione had not even told her mum, and da she was seeing someone until they asked about Christmas and Hermione realised she couldn't stomach being away from the man for even a day, especially not Christmas. Approaching him about it had been interesting, to say the least. 

"Severus," she tried one night a day or so before. 

"Hmm?" He was reading on her sofa with a cup of tea in one hand. 

"What are your Christmas plans?" 

To that, he looked up at her, those black eyes pinning her with their brooding stare, tugging at her lower belly. She hopped a bit from foot to foot, nerves plaguing her. 

"Well, my hope laid somewhere with getting to see you," he smirked, "but I also understand if you already have plans." His dark eyes went back to the book pages between his fingers. 

"I usually go to my mum and da's."

He nodded, "Perhaps we can observe Christmas before or after the actual day together." 

"WelIwaswondering-actuallyifyouwouldcomewithme?"

Severus blinked, Hermione spoke slower, taking a deep breath. "I was wondering, Severus, if you would like to join me for Christmas, with them." 

Something warred in his eyes, Hermione could see it. He wasn't sure it was a good idea, but he had been open enough with his emotions that it was fair to say she could see him considering the request. "Would you like me to?" He finally posed back, flatly. 

"Yes," Hermione rolled her eyes at him, "that is why I am asking." She stepped forward, and he was able to hook a finger in the front pocket of her jeans. Dragging her toward him and placing his book elsewhere all in one motion. 

When she settled on his lap, facing him, Severus narrowed his eyes, "if you think it prudent to show your old, pervy potions professor to your parents, far be it from me to stop you." 

Hermione rolled her eyes again. "Severus, none of those things are true, you know that. Aside from the potion professor bit." She chewed her lip. 

Composed narrowed eyes took on a look of interest, then a darker, more luxurious appearance. "We are going to have to do something about the eye-rolling Miss Granger…" 

The silky-smooth drawl washed over Hermione, and she closed her eyes, feeling her pussy clench at the sound. 

Severus made a low grunt, "I see that is not the only punishment then, fantasising about your old potions professor, how lewd of you, witch." Tugging her chest against his and giving her bum a swat. 

Hermione mewled at the ministration, peppering his jaw with kisses. "Only since I was like 17," she murmured without thinking. 

To that, Severus gently pushed her away from him so he could look at her and Hermione pouted a bit. He held her chin between his thumb and forefinger levelling her gaze, "did you feel that way in school?" 

Hermione swallowed, she wasn't fooled by his stoic voice, or steady gaze, the idea turned him on, she could see it in his smouldering ember eyes. Flicking her tongue out, she licked his thumb and her lips, nodding. "Only during 6th year, and only a little."

Biting his lower lip Severus sobered for a moment, releasing her, "I never knew." 

"Ha! Thank god. I thought sure during one of your Defense classes you looked into my mind when I had a dirty fantasy. I was nauseous for a week about it." 

Pursing his lips, Severus raised one eyebrow, "why didn't you tell me?" 

"What?!" she asked, a touch defensive," it's all fine and good now, but what in the name of Merlin was I meant to say?" Clasping her hands together she imitated an obnoxiously overdone version of her own school girl voice, "Oh, Professor Snape, that was suuuuuuuch powerful magic it made me sooooo hot for you. Can you please fuck me on this desk until I scream?" Reverting to her actual voice, Hermione muttered, "yes, that would've gone over well. I would have been scrubbing cauldrons for years or worse, probably."

"Well, I did not mean telling me at the time." 

"Oh!" Hermione felt somewhat abashed after understanding his meaning and blushed scarlet. 

Severus's gaze was still calculating, but Hermione would be an idiot not to notice the now extremely hard cock pressing against her. He liked the idea as much as she presently. One hand was suddenly in her mane, and the other was around her waist, pulling her impossibly closer to his body. "Oh, Miss Granger, you are naughty." Said against her lips, his warm breath tickling her, making heat pool in her belly and dampness in her knickers. 

"Then punish me, Professor." 

His lips came down hard against her mouth, almost painful in their insistence that she open for him. Shifting his tongue, separating her lips, he caught her own and sucked at it, retreating then penetrating her again with his muscle in her mouth. Hermione moaned against his lips, and Severus felt it reverberate deep inside him. Pulling back, he persisted in kissing her jaw and up to her ear, whispering, "you dirty girl, you want your potions professor to fuck you against a desk, don't you?"

Hermione's eyes rolled back into her head, and a breathless "yes," was all that she could manage.

Severus thrust his wool-covered cock up against her, and she moaned wildly. "You want to come on his cock, don't you?" 

Whimpering Hermione began to reach for his robes blindly, but Severus chuckled a dark rich sound. "No, no, Miss Granger. I think we will keep it on, don't you?" 

When Hermione was able to look at him she found that he was no longer in the jumper and trousers he had been, but the frock coat and all, white shirt just barely peeking out at the top of the collar. If it were possible, she became even more aroused, her core was throbbing, and the gusset of her knickers soaked through. Brown eyes pleaded with him, and he would know what she wanted. 

"On your knees Miss Granger." 

Hermione all but leapt from his lap, and Severus scooted to the edge of the chair. Hermione reached down and pulled her jumper off then her bra, leaving her topless before him in only a pair of leggings. Snape palmed himself through his trousers. Hermione squirmed at the erotic sight, biting her lip. 

"Leggings off, knickers on. Hop to it." Words clipped and flat, just like Professor Snape. Blazing arousal the only expression in his dark eyes as he watched her in a lust-fueled gaze.

Hermione complied, removing her leggings in what she hoped was a sexy rush, though it could have been far more like fumbling she wasn't sure. Back on her knees, he drew her closer and leaned down, barely kissing her lips, just a brush of sensitive skin against skin. Reaching out, he rolled a nipple between his fingers and Hermione bit her lip whimpering. Trading breasts, his other hand went to his still covered length and stroked it over his trousers. If she hadn't been wet before Hermione might have felt a gush at that image. Severus seemingly sensed it was so because he reached down and ran a finger between her legs, making Hermione quiver with need. 

"Thoroughly drenched knickers." He growled, "Is that all for me, Miss Granger?" 

"Oh, yes!" It was a moan as Severus dropped his head to suck a nipple up between his lips, flicking his tongue over the sensitive bud, but before she could grab him, he pulled away. 

Scooting forward, Hermione almost fell as she reached to pull him from his trousers, and Severus grunted as her small hand closed around his cock. "In the way," complained Hermione, disappearing his trousers, pants and boots. 

Severus hissed as cooled air hit his warm skin. Then he growled again as Hermione began a slow pull of him. Up and down, eyes trained on his as she ran a thumb up over the head. His eyes not leaving her face Severus watched as she took his cock between her lips and sucked him, her eyes closed, and she pulled back only to press forward yet again. Tangling a hand in her hair, Severus urged her, gently pushing and Hermione groaned against his flesh in response. 

Hermione could feel her moisture dripping down her legs, almost able to smell herself. It was an intoxicating, dirty thought. That made her heart race faster. Pulling off him slightly, she focused on the tip, swirling her tongue and enjoying a mewl that he couldn't keep at bay from her. Cupping his balls in her hand she tugged lightly, and she felt a warm heat pulse in her lower belly when he thrust up into her mouth. It was an indication of his control slipping. With a sly smile, she allowed him to set the pace in her mouth for a moment, as she wordlessly cast a lubrication spell. Gently easing her finger down to tease at his hole, Severus stiffened momentarily, and Hermione paused, taking more of his cock, sucking harder. He moaned, and she eased the finger inside of him fully, bumping against his prostate. 

"Oh! Fuck... Christ!" He shouted. 

Hermione grinned against him and moved faster, pumping her finger in and out whilst the other hand joined her mouth on his cock. Severus's firm grip on her hair guided her and Hermione soon felt his body tense beneath her. With a near roar, Severus jerked, and Hermione felt his hot release spurt at the back of her throat before he went limp. Smirking she pulled off his cock with a loud, lewd, watery noise that had him jerk in over sensitive pleasure. Then she whispered a cleaning spell over her hands and his cock. 

"Like a fifth-year who's just received his first blow job," muttered Severus only half irritated. 

Hermione climbed up into his arms and laughed a happy content chuckle, "oh come on, no fifth year's first blow job was that good!" 

Barking laugh he kissed her jaw, "no, no it wasn't." 

…

"Do you really think this is a good idea? Severus, I am serious, you do not have to do this for my benefit." Hermione was nibbling her lip as she dressed in warm layers. 

Severus turned to her, "I think it would be best if we get it over with, as they say." 

Snorting Hermione followed him down the short stairs to her kitchen. "Aren't we chipper this Christmas Eve morning. Glad to know how tolerable this whole situation is to you." She stuck her tongue out at him and then Hermione found herself pulled and pressed hard against the wall, Severus's body moulding to her own. 

"Witch, I am so ecstatic that you are mine I can barely think straight. Leave me the smallest amount of my decorum for my use if you can." His words were harsh, but his eyes were playful, and Hermione smirked. 

"What do I get out of it?" 

His eyes turned up to her at this comment. "Well, my sparkling personality, of course." 

"Naturally," she murmured arms winding around his neck, her hands resting at his nape. "And?"

"Well, I have a very decent book collection, if that holds any interest to you?" 

Hermione pretended to swoon, leaning back against the wall, hand to her forehead and moaning, "oh god! Professor Snape,  _ talk dirty to me! _ " Then she winked. 

His response was to thrust his hips against hers so she could feel his hot, hard erection pressing against her, to that she really did moan. 

"In response to your earlier inquiry, I am feeling fine about outing our relationship with Potter and his woman. I think it's best we leave though, or we are going to be late." Pulling away Severus smirked as he turned, leaving Hermione wantonly draped against the wall. 

"Oh, you bastard," Hermione followed his dark chuckle all the way out the door.

…

Potter and the Weasley girl were waiting for them on the corner of an excessively decorated street. Full of carts and stalls and delicious smells. Hermione was nearly vibrating with excitement next to him. The little bobble on the top of her hat bounced as she moved. Severus decided despite his nerves, it was worth it to see her in such good spirits, plus he had never really been one for Christmas and maybe that could change. After all, the woman next to him was in a warm, crimson coat that brought out the slight bits of copper in her wild hair, and she had fingers gripping his arm. Happy to be seen with him, glad to be his. That was enough to justify celebrating, was it not? 

There was a bit of small talk, but remarkably they were all individually enjoying the general sense of the day, not overthinking about who they were with. That was fine by Severus. It was the muggle world, where despite Severus being quite pleased he was a wizard, he found that there were times when the muggle world just made him feel safe. Perhaps it was living without obligation. It was novel, but enjoyable nonetheless. As they passed a cart selling mulled wine Severus saw Hermione's eyes light up, and nearly laughed out loud at her childlike excitement, he didn't of course. Instead, he reached into a pocket and bought four, aiding Hermione in passing them around. 

"Thanks, mat- uh, Severus," Harry caught himself, looking away and taking a sip of the beverage. 

Hermione and Ginny giggled, Severus pursed his lips, but his eyes were too bright for anyone to mistake that he wasn't agitated at all. 

The mulled wine was excellent, genuinely the best he had ever had rich and sweet. Just that touch of bite and burn at the end to ensure warmth in the limbs on the blisteringly cold day. Snowflakes fell in fat chunks, getting tangled in Hermione's chestnut waves, falling to the ground when she threw her head back to laugh at something he or the others said. 

Sometime later, Hermione stopped at a stall near the edge where they made handmade stockings. Hermione had been admiring the knitting when she turned to Severus. 

"I was going to wait until Christmas… but I don't know if I can." She bit her lip and Severus fought a flush of arousal that hit him at the movement. Some moments he honestly wondered whether he was meant to be so attracted to anyone if it was legal.

"Well… my parents… they are moving back to Australia. The weather is just too cold here. I will get to see them loads, portkey, floo even- I pulled the ' _ helped save the world card _ ', and Kings made me an exception." Realising she was running on a tangent now, she blushed. 

"Hermione?" Severus raised an eyebrow.

"They- well they have had the house since I was little, and it's lovely. They-uh don't want to sell it and I… I am going to move into the house at New Year. It's further from the city, but not by much, plus floo and all." Glancing away, she seemed to look past him, or perhaps she was just avoiding his gaze. 

Severus straightened, she was trying to tell him that she may be more absent than usual. It hurt a little, or perhaps it made him sad. He had liked that they lived so close, and it was easy to get from one flat to the other, stopping for coffee in the morning together... or deciding to go to dinner just because after work. That said, as she had made it plain, magic aided this greatly. 

"I see. Well, I am pleased you do not have to give up your childhood home." 

Hermione's jaw opened a bit at that, "Severus?"

"Yes?" Her persistence was upsetting him. He didn't want to think about her living further away, not now. "I am still listening Hermione, but your point is becoming less and less obvi-" He was cut off by her hand over his mouth, his eyes flared like black flames, but Severus knew they wouldn't scare her in the slightest. 

"Will you move in with me? To the house?" When she had said it, staring at him, she pulled her hand away. "There are four rooms, one of which could be easily extended to be a lab. There is also a massive garden behind the house, and magical plants could even grow should, uh, we wish it." 

Standing there, staring at her, was the best Severus could do for a moment.  _ What in the name of Merlin had happened to him?  _ He was the boy, grown into a man that no one wanted. Not even his mother and father. Now there was a clever witch stood in front of him, telling him she would like him to move in with her. There had to be a trick somewhere. 

Smiling nervously, "Severus, I do hope that I surprised you, and you are not on the verge of telling me that you want to break up or something." There was a bit of jest in her expression, but for the most part, it had turned worrisome and apprehensive. 

The look of sheer concern he saw there snapped Severus out of his reverie. "I… I suppose I am just shocked is all." His brow furrowed gazing down at the little witch, her hands clasped together around her cup of mulled wine, eyes bright staring up at him. The little hat she wore was falling sloppily to the side, he gently reached out, righting it and brushing some snow from her shoulder. Then wrapping her arms around Hermione's shoulders, he pulled her against his chest, tipping his head down Severus brushed his nose against her cheek, nuzzling her soft skin. "Yes." It was a soft murmur, but Hermione heard it and made a little squeal of happiness. It was quickly drowned out by Severus's lips covering hers, taking them with his own. Teasing the seam of them open and revelling in the warmth of her breath mingling with his. 

Neither of them was at all worried about the way they might have appeared to others, it just didn't matter, standing there in the snowy street, amidst Christmas twinkle lights, hushed carols playing and holly covered surfaces. Even Severus could consider what a picturesque moment it was, but he wouldn't baulk at it, he just couldn't. 

Finally pulling away for breath Severus looked down at Hermione, her eyes were closed, but soon they opened, and he was staring into the caramel confection that ensnared his senses. 

"That. Was not something I ever expected to see in my life." It was Potter's voice, breaking the peaceful moment. Severus growled, looking away from his witch to Potter and his girlfriend. Both of them stood there gazing at them like they were some silly film. The Weasley girl was grinning, but Potter looked a bit sick. To that Severus smirked. 

Ginny almost skipped over, and Hermione rolled her eyes at the ginger's over-indulgent voice. "So I am guessing that was a yes then?" 

"Yes," Severus said it before Hermione was able to, he desired anyone to know that he wanted Hermione in all ways. 

"House warming party!" Ginny called out, grinning. 

"No!" Both Hermione and Severus shouted at the same time, with wide eyes. 

" _ Oookay _ …" Harry laughed, "you sure you two aren't related?" It was muttered as they began to walk up the street. 

Ginny giggled and turned back to wink at Hermione. "Mmm, daddy…" The younger woman broke off into peels of laughter. 

Hermione's eyes enlarged, and she looked to Severus worried he would be disconcerted. Instead, his face twisted into a smirk and he tossed his head back, laughing loudly, giving her arse a very small swat. It sent a jolt of arousal through Hermione, but seeing him so happy was worth any of Ginny's rude humour. Harry looked properly mortified. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that you people are the best? Well, you are, it's true. One more chapter after this, omg.   
XOXOXOXOXO!!!

Christmas with the Grangers went decently enough. Severus felt that it was better they were muggles. Knowing far less about his background, rather than being magical and having access to several ridiculously inaccurate biographies. It was more the fact that if Severus could help it, he was going to never again be without their daughter, and that meant he would have to see them again as well. It felt unusual to think of that. That he would have constants in his life, like any other person. 

The Granger's home was cosy aside from the atrocious floral furniture he hoped they were taking with them. The whole house smelled of mince pies, powdered sugar and a fresh pot of tea. Other spices clung to the air along with that strange but always familiar scent of Christmas decor. That had its own essence, challenging to place, but so specific. Really, this was one of the first times Severus had been anywhere for Christmas, like a home. When he was a child, there had been really no difference between that and any other day until he met Lily. She had invited him round a few days before Christmas, and her mother had given him sweets. He and Lily proceeded to torment Petunia, as was usual, though perhaps less than typical. Such was still some of his happiest memories. For a long time, it was the smile on Mrs Evans face when she looked at him that he used to cast a Patronus. Like he was worth something more than being kicked around or shouted at. 

After they graduated, Severus fell back into the routine of ignoring any existence of the holiday. Instead, he did despicable things as the Dark Lord tended to enjoy a spectacle and a holiday tended to pack the proverbial punch. At Hogwarts, he was forced by Dumbledore often to stay and participate in the feast. It was generally the lesser of two evils. For the past years since the war, Severus had fallen into the routine of ignoring it mostly. Keeping up in his flat and occasionally watching a Christmas special, mainly to make fun of it. Getting pissed and eating lots of sweets along the way. 

Being at the Granger's was different, he was wanted here. Respected even, his presence not a nuisance as he suspected Lily thought him even then, she was just too polite to say so. Here there had been scotch shoved into his hand almost as soon as they entered the door. Hermione's mother had the same eyes as her daughter, caramel with those flecks of gold. Her father had been welcoming, not at all concerned by their age difference, which had been most of Severus's worry. Likely it was the haircut, perhaps it made him look ordinary. 

Raising the liquor to his lips, Severus settled further into the sofa as the four of them talked. Hermione pressed warm against his side, made Severus's stomach do a tiny flip. Hermione's hand rested gently on his thigh as his arm lazily settled behind her on the back of the sofa. Really he should've been paying attention to the conversation, but Severus was more content to just take in the mood. After a while more food was brought out, snacks and pastries of all kinds and the three began to play a card game whilst he watched the first time around. His excuse being the spiked eggnog in his hand might spill. Before Severus could be forced to participate in the second one, Jane jumped up. 

"We are going to be late, I swear it, every year." 

Hermione rolled her eyes and looked at her father.

"Oh, I swear the two of you. I am not going to forget so you two should bloody well stop trying to make me." 

" _ Jane!-Mum! _ " Hermione and her father shouted aghast at the same moment. Their faces were feigning shock and outrage.

"Is that any way to speak before we enter a house of god?" Asked Hermione, and her father chuckled. 

Jane simply gave them both a look of disdain before going to find her coat, her husband following after a moments chuckle. 

"Your parents aren't religious; I take it?" Severus asked as they fetched their own outerwear. He held her coat open and then donned his own. 

Hermione shook her head with a laugh, "Dads an atheist. Mum grew up a catholic, but she doesn't really adhere to it, and I never went. Except for Christmas, we go to Midnight Mass every year." 

Severus nodded, understanding. 

"Sorry, hope you don't mind." 

He shook his head, "not at all, I find Christmas music pleasant, if a bit haunting at times." 

They piled out into the street and began the walk up the road. Inspiration or perhaps curiosity struck Hermione then. "What do you believe Severus?" Her parents were far enough up the way not to hear them, the two huddled as closely together as he and Hermione were. Somehow the notion that perhaps he and Hermione could grow together like that made his heart throb in the best way. 

He gave her a sideways glance, but then directed his attention back to the street in front of them, still holding tight to her arm that was resting in his. "I haven't given it much thought-" 

"Liar." 

He glared playfully, "I think it is likely there is something, though maybe not what every person imagines. If there is, it is far too vast for us to understand." 

Hermione nodded, "I think it's different when you know magic exists." 

Severus nodded in a quiet return, and they continued in pleasant silence. 

When they reached the chapel, Hermione was surprised to feel Severus grab her hand. Rarely did he make any attempt at public affection. To show she was grateful, Hermione squeezed his hand in return. As they found their place on a pew, it felt like everything was right in the world. If she spent every Christmas in her life just like this, Hermione would be thrilled. The music swept over them. Hermione, discreetly, tried to examine the man just next to her. He was, without a doubt, one of the most intriguing individuals she had ever set her eyes on. Even as an 11-year-old, Hermione had been enraptured by him, though not in the same way that she was now. For someone who showed so little emotion, he felt so much, no matter what he tried to say. Severus's ability to show more feeling had increased, he had come a long way since the war. Hermione was sure that her younger self (despite a very brief school girl crush) wouldn't have expected this to happen. Especially in the strange chain of events that it had. 

"Studied your fill then?" Severus whispered, still looking ahead. 

Hermione laughed breathlessly, "you're too clever for your own good." 

"Indeed." 

Settling her head against his shoulder, Hermione closed her eyes and listened to the instruments playing. Allowing herself to be lulled into a relaxed state of peace and comfort. So much so that when the music stopped, Hermione had fallen asleep. Not aware until Severus gently shook her arm and allowed her to lean against him as she got groggily to her feet. Thankfully the icy wind of the evening air was enough to wake her up, Hermione did have plans for that evening, and she really needed to be awake for them. 

They were taking a Portkey to the ski resort that evening. So after more sweets and eggnog with the Grangers, Hermione and Severus took their bags to the Ministry depot. Still, Hermione hated the damn way of travel. It was all worth it when they made it to a small cabin Severus had booked for them. It was in a wizarding portion of Switzerland, but very much on its own, in the middle of the most picturesque holiday forest to ever exist. The only thing Hermione worried for was the vast ski hills nearby. 

Severus chuckled from the doorway when he caught her staring out the window at them. "I know you cannot ski." 

Whirling around her eyes were wide, "you do?" 

Severus smirked and nodded, "I am decent at reading expressions. When I told you where we were going, you looked as though you might be sick." Sauntering forward Severus wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her harder against his body, "that's all right. I'm not so certain we will leave this place any time soon." 

"Presumptuous," Hermione teased, but scratched her short nails at the back of his neck, and felt him growl below her ear. 

"Champagne? Wine? I planned ahead." Smirking Severus gazed down at her. 

"All of the above, you get that together, and I will be right back," she gentle tapped his nose with the tip of her finger and turned before he could make a sour expression. 

In the bedroom Hermione set to work, she had a seduction plan, and it was about to get very very holly and jolly in this sector. Stripping down she took a quick shower to rinse her body, and then slathered on some lotion, purchased from a shop on Diagon Alley. It was made to taste like sugar plums. Ginny had purchased the candy cane version. 

Then Hermione put on the sexiest Santa lingerie possibly to ever exist. A strappy babydoll top that was thin almost see-through in a bright red and lined with white faux fur. The push-up part of the contraption made her breasts look incredible. The bottoms were a garter belt and lace knickers, all in the same vibrant red. The garter belt held up a pair of equally lacy stockings. With another smirk at herself in the mirror, Hermione head down the stairs to find her lover. 

Severus had just poured the wine and was about to place the bottle on the coffee table when Hermione cleared her throat. 

"How bout we take that upstairs?" She raised an eyebrow. 

If Severus Snape had ever looked surprised at this point, it had been well hidden. At this moment, there was nothing of that apathetic control. Instead, he looked absolutely shocked. Shocked wasn't a good enough descriptor, he looked wholly and utterly gobsmacked. To this, Hermione tried not to grin like a loon and instead smirked at him, and reached out to grab his shirt front, tugging him toward the bedroom. She knew full well that if she walked ahead of him, he was going to get a lovely view. 

Just inside the door she turned and began to remove his jumper, then started on the button down below it. Easing it off his shoulders, she pressed herself close and looked up into his face. There was so much heat in his eyes, Hermione thought she might get burned. When her hand finally made its way over his skin to the front of his trousers, she could feel his excitement straining hot and hard beneath her hand. It made her almost dizzy with a need for this man. Still, she avoided his attempts to catch her lips. This was meant to be a tease, wasn't it? 

Fingers nails she had lacquered a dark shade of green began to open the placket of his trousers and ease him from the confines. Moving to push the rest of his clothing off, grateful he hadn't been wearing shoes, and she didn't need to bother with that. Tracing fingers over his belly, up to his neck Hermione smirked behind her curtains of hair. When he let out a half exasperated groan one hand teased his thigh before finally reaching between his legs to grip his length. Slowly enjoying the feel of his silky flesh, as she pumped him very very slowly. Only when she felt him shudder and knew he was about to protest did she take her hand away and pull his head down to her for a kiss. Severus seemed to take this as an allowance to touch, and his hands were suddenly everywhere. Gripping her hips, tracing the lines of her knickers over her arse. Then seizing her and pulling her against him. All while thoroughly overwhelming her, tasting every inch of her mouth. 

Getting her strength together, Hermione steered them toward the bed, turning at the last moment so he ended up on his back and she could straddle his legs. Lifting up Severus's blazing eyes fixed in on her chest and reached around her back to hold her as he began to taste her breasts through the thin material of her nighty. Throwing her head back as the warm wet sensation of his mouth spread from each peak he touched down to the pulsing heat in her core. Hermione regretted the decision to wear the top. Severus seemed to think the same thing and spelled it off without so much as a hand gesture. 

Using her last semblance of magic and rational, Hermione dimmed the lights and lit several of the candles she had placed about. The dim firelight on his skin was perhaps more intoxicating, and she leaned down to trace her tongue over the ridges that covered one side of his neck, feeling his body quake below her. 

"Fuuck," Severus growled, in a voice so low she could barely hear that it was, in fact, a word. His hands found her hips, and she shifted up when the tips dug into her flesh. Severus sucked in a surprised breath when he felt the slick heat of her flesh on his member. Looking down, he could see the knickers and garter still in place. Hermione was grinning, beginning a slow roll of her hips over him. The witch had bought crotchless knickers, he was in heaven. 

Hermione smirked down at him when she saw the realisation dawn on him. It was rather a good idea she had to say. It also meant that she could feel his skin against hers, and it was making her quicken beneath him. Sucking in a breath and trying to focus on the task at hand. She placed one hand on the mattress next to his head, the other reached behind his neck, holding him in place as she kissed him again. Snapping lightly at his lip Hermione reached down and tilted her hips just so, enveloping him inside her. The sweet, brimming pleasure rippled through her as she came in contact with the skin at his base. 

"Bloody Merlin… you're hot." 

She knew he was referring to temperature but couldn't help the little smile and comment, "why thank you, I did make an effort to that effect." 

"Cheeky witch," he was able to mutter, but couldn't stay put any longer. Instead, he thrust up deeply, forcing the breath out of Hermione unbidden. 

Something strange and sad caught her off guard. She didn't want this to end so soon. Severus seemed to see this in her eyes, he rolled them over and pulled out of her, getting up from the bed. Hermione watched a bit confused until he returned with a black wrapped gift. "A little something." Tossing the little box to her, Severus crawled back into bed and began to slowly fuck her with his fingers as she opened the present. Every time he curled them, she had to stop and moan at the ceiling. Her legs were parted wide for him, and Severus enjoyed the vision that she was, all covered in lace and spread wantonly before him, dripping over his hand. 

"Fuck… Severus," she whined, "you're going to make me come again…" 

"That is the general idea, yes." Despite saying that he did stop once she had opened the package.

Inside the black box was a vibrating plug. Hermione raised an eyebrow at him, and Severus only smirked in return, plucking it from her hand and turning it around in his. The hand not occupied began to flick her clit, then moved down gently teasing her arse, pressing lightly then sliding in. "To add to your drawer," he bit his lip and clicked the toy on. 

Running the smooth silicone over her numb, adding another finger to her hole and thrusting slowly. Severus grinned openly when the witch arched up off the bed in response. She whined when he removed his fingers from her bum, "Severus! God, don't stop!" 

Coating the plug with her juices Severus drug it down and pressed it to her back entrance. Groaning at the sensation, Hermione nearly entirely lost her mind when Severus was above her, entering her slippery cunt. She was so wet for him at that point that he slipped inside with ease. The two sensations inside her nearly set her over the edge right then, but Hermione gritted her teeth and dug her fingernails into his shoulder blades. 

"Claws," grunted Severus. 

"You- like it… Shit, Severus that' s-fuck-" nothing more would come as Hermione felt herself building, already her walls were clamping on him, hard. His name began to slip off her tongue in repetition as she built. Wrapping her legs around the back of his thighs, Hermione rocked against him. Gripping his arse cheeks in her hands and pulling him further into her every time his flesh met hers. 

"Severus... ohhhh, fuck, come with me!" 

When her orgasm took over, she moaned his name long and loud. Severus did as he was told. Slamming into her unyielding over and over until there was nothing left for him to give. 

...

Taking her time in the loo Hermione finished cleaning up, pulling on a fleece jumper and clean knickers before exiting into the bedroom. Severus was already under the covers, and Hermione blinked sleepily at his form. Pulling back the flannel sheets, she crawled under them and snuggled against him. Hermione felt rather than saw Severus's smile against her shoulder. Turning, she ended up facing him in the dim gleam of the fairy lights framing the window outside. They looked at each other for a few moments, in the soft silence. There was a distant hum of the radiator, crackle of the fire, but aside from that white noise, it was silent. In the warmth of the bed and each other's arms, it was easy to slip into a contented sleep. 

…

"It has to be here?" Severus was incredulous. He had never lived with someone before, other than when he was a child, but that didn't really count. There was compromising. 

"Mhmm." Poking about in a cupboard for the wine opener, Hermione nearly bumped her head. "Where did I put that?- oh." 

Severus had reached above her and dropped the corkscrew onto the marble countertop. 

Opener in hand, she set to work on all of the various bottles. "I host every few months, and especially since we are in the new house, it makes for a lot of space." Her caramel eyes flicked over the area. 

It was clean and minimal, but in a way that felt cosy rather than stiff. It was the perfect balance of their two different styles. Her flat had been squishy and pastel, his rigid and opaque. The two combined were actually a lovely alliance, sort of like the two people. 

"So I shall be forced to spend my time in the den is that it?" 

"No. It's your house too Severus go wherever you wish, but my knitting group will be in the sitting room." 

The man released a somewhat annoyed sigh before turning on his heels for the room they had dubbed as the den. It was an additional place to store books. Thinking better of that abrupt exit, he turned back around and pecked Hermione on the cheek. 

"Thank you for not being too grumpy about it," she laughed, sliding her arms around his shoulders. It forced him to drop his head where she could sufficiently snag a kiss. 

Always the Slytherin he capitalised on that. Sinking a hand into her curls and turning her head as he slanted his mouth over hers, taking more. Lips and tongue pried open her mouth so he could dive inside, and enjoy the flavour of an apple slice she had just eaten, along with her own unique taste. A soft moan from the woman pressed against him had Severus knowing she was already lost to the kiss, he could have some fun. Lifting her up, he wrapped her legs around his waist, gripping her arse in firm hands. 

Severus grunted at Hermione rolled her hips over him, the apex of her thighs atop his interested cock. Severus's hands tightened on her soft flesh, pulling her harder against him, moving her over the bulge in his trousers. He knew what it would do. Those leggings were thin enough that lesser pressure would cause her clit to throb. Severus had her exactly where he wanted her, wanton and ready for him. It would be such a tease when someone-

The floo activated and before Severus could actually follow through with his plan to embarrass his witch and make her crave his cock the entire night through Hermione pulled away from his lips releasing a ragged, exaggerated moan, and spanking him hard on the arse. "Oh, yes! Just like daddy!" 

Ginny and Minerva stood by the fire, looking into the open kitchen with wide eyes. Those surprised expressions turned to one's of mirth when Severus blushed like a firstie in front of them, nearly dropping Hermione as he set her on her feet. His lover had an absolutely vicious triumphant smirk on her face, as well as some seriously hungry eyes. At least that told him it had not been all about humiliating him. 

"I'll be in the den." A scowl was pinned to everyone in the room before he stalked out, hearing peals of laughter behind him. In his own house, merlin. 

… 

Much later that evening having made long, slow love to each other Severus and Hermione lay facing. Hermione lightly stroking the planes of his face. Up the bridge of his nose, down, then across his forehead. Meticulously tracking over his likeness, as if memorising it for later use. Severus stared back into her eyes, and his heart thumped at the thoughts rushing to the forefront of his mind. Sweet, with only that hint of bitter fear to betray it, enough to make him pause for just a moment. 

Finally, Severus leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the centre of her forehead. Keeping his lips pressed there for a moment longer, before barely pulling back and taking a breath.

"I love you, Hermione." It was breathed against her skin. When he pulled away, Severus had the most earnest look on his face she had seen. "Thank you for seeing me, as I am."

Fighting to keep herself from tearing up, Hermione leaned forward, gripping the back of his head and pulling him to her for a kiss. "Severus, you are worth more than just a glance." 

Both of them understood exactly what she meant. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awe guys, we have reached the final chapter. Thank you so much for all the love and support it really, seriously does mean that absolute world to me. <3 you are all just gems, so thank you, thank you.   
Enjoy XOXO!

Hermione checked the clock on the wall. A countdown was ticking away; it almost felt slower than she wished it to. Scanning the crowd, it was relatively easy for everyone to tell who each other were. Ginny and Harry were over in a corner, looking a little too cosy for a public event though they had become engaged over the last year, and there was some unspoken rule that you needed to be attached at the hip when something like that came about. It was most likely less about that and more Ginny's wild side coming out. Harry, for his worth, was always there to accommodate her, usually blushing as he went along. Or so, Hermione was often told, by Ginny. 

Sighing slightly Hermione rechecked the clock, she was alone.  _ Bollocks _ , he had said he would be here, but the conference might have run over. It would not be the first time, nor the last, but it was New Years. 

Looking down, Hermione fiddled with her gown, it was made of a navy almost black satin and covered in the tiniest little crystals that made it shine in any light. Some fiddling had allowed her hair to fall in smooth waves over her shoulders. Her mask and shoes were gold, making her look like a fairy or something equally as mystical. That had been the goal, and it seemed it had worked out decently enough. Ron passed her in a rush with someone she wasn't really able to see, shoving a glass of champagne into her hand. 

"Drink!" he called out, his voice muffled by the girl he had then promptly begun to snog, and the loud music around them. 

Shaking her head, Hermione tipped back the dainty glass and allowed the sweet contents to slip past her lips. The champagne was a lovely flavour and one she had always enjoyed. Muted citrus with that soft stroke of floral at the end, followed by a bite and fizz. Another glance at the clock and the rest of the champagne ended up in her stomach. A quiet buzz started in the back of her throat and travelled to her head, just the slightest hint of dizziness, her lips felt imperceptibly numb. The perfect combination to make a ballroom swirling with colours too much. Deciding there was no use staying in the space when she wasn't going to find anyone Hermione headed for the balcony at the far side. It emptied into a roof like a patio. It was charmed not to be seen by the inhabitants of muggle London, and it made for a breathtaking view. The night sky was alight with stars, bright against a navy sky.  _ Almost _ January wind whipped about, but there must have been a charm as the feeling of it was pleasant, not overpowering. 

Stepping to the edge Hermione could hear the telltale sounds of a count down inside and knew what that meant. She touched the balcony and looked over to see the various happenings about. People were gazing at the sky, like her, from below. It was surreal to think that a new year was upon everyone. No one was able to miss it, the new year came and so would another, for every human alive in the world. It was exciting and frightening all at once. The counting continued,  _ had they started from 60? _ At least they were trying at some of the muggle traditions. Hermione shook her head with a little laugh. 

Peering over the edge just to give herself that little jolt in her belly Hermione gasped as she was yanked backwards, and collided with her back against someone's chest. A scent she would know anywhere enveloped her and Hermione smiled. Spicy cedar, and just that nip of mandarin and cinnamon. 

"You made it," she breathed.

"Indeed. I do believe I just heard 1." 

There were the sounds of fireworks in the distance, and in the ballroom as well. Severus turned Hermione around and pulled her against him, one hand splayed on her low back the other caught in her waves. She barely had time to appreciate the familiar black mask and exquisite jawline before he had taken her lips with his. Slanting his mouth over hers, Hermione was aware of the taste that was entirely her love. The man that had for all intents and purposes been something of an enigma and a terror, then a snide, condescending arsehole, then the fucking love of her life. Sighing contentedly against his mouth Hermione lazily draped her arms around his shoulders, meeting the thrusts of his tongue in almost a lazy, satisfied fashion. Heat blistered beneath her skin, but she didn't allow it to take over just yet, she wanted to enjoy this moment. Feel the crisp midnight air, and the warm wool body that was pressed to her, his steady hand holding her against him like nothing could ever pry her away. 

When he finally released her Hermione felt a bit wobbly and steadied herself on his arm, looking into his dark eyes before turning and leaning against his chest. Arms wrapped around her and another champagne flute was placed in her hand. She sipped the golden liquid and relished in the quiet, only barely inhibited by the background noise of the party. 

"I missed you." Rumbled Severus next to her ear.

"The feeling was mutual," Hermione really did miss him when he was away. The nature of the job made it necessary, but that didn't make it easy. Nevertheless, for once in his life, Severus Snape was doing precisely what he loved, and that made Hermione so happy. Plus when he came back from these blasted week-long conferences, they always had the best sex. Shag-a-thons, Ginny dubbed it, as often they weren't seen for at least two days after he returned.

"How bout we get the hell out of here? I want to go home and get out of these clothes." 

Chuckling Severus kissed her head, then held her away from him slightly. "I will be happy to oblige that, though I have to say that the dress is spectacular. I think it would be easy to assume I was the point of jealousy for many this evening." 

They strolled through the ballroom hand in hand, but no one really noticed the couple leaving. "I think they would have been more jealous should they have known what's underneath it…" Hermione discreetly allowed a strap to fall, revealing black lace peeking out. 

Severus's dark eyebrows shot up, as soon as they were outside the Ministry Severus tugged at Hermione's hand, pulling her around a corner. Mid-kiss they were swirling into the centre of their front garden. He hadn't even stopped to think that their neighbours, who were all over the age of eighty, might actually be awake as it was New Year. So when they pulled apart to run inside, they were caught out by Mrs Mavis stood on her porch having just finished letting her tiny dog out. 

"Oh shit," muttered Hermione under her breath. 

The old woman looked stunned for a moment, then waved her hand in passing, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "Always knew the two of you's was strange, but really snoggin like adolescents in the garden at this hour?" Her words were punctuated with a wink and a twinkle in her eye. 

Severus looked fully chagrined and uncomfortable, Hermione smiled, following him into the house. 

Door closed Severus sighed happily, "I enjoy potions research, but I miss home." He looked about the small tidy house they lived in, and he felt rather happy to know it was his home. That, someone, was always waiting for him when he returned home. 

"Weren't you here to change?" asked Hermione. 

To this Severus smirked, taking a deep breath, he made his way to the kitchen where she seemed to be messing about. "I was," he leaned on the entry wall, arms folded over his chest. The fabric tightened over his arms and Hermione looked appreciatively. "But you weren't here." 

"Coffee?" she asked, beaming like she had just won some kind of prize, and in Hermione's mind, she most definitely had. 

"Yes, I believe I may need some energy to ravish you the whole night through." His smirk was both cocky and lewd in its delivery. Hermione chuckled, but he took the filter and tin from her hands. "I can do it. You know what I have been thinking?" 

"Hmm?" Hermione reached down and took off her shoes, wincing as her sore feet touched the plush rug. 

"We never took down our profiles, the online ones." He was very much not looking at her. 

This seemed odd for him to bring up if Hermione were very honest, she had almost totally forgotten about the site they had  _ 'met _ ' on. "I hadn't really thought." 

"You should take it down, I'll do the same. They are most likely filled with spam, and that wouldn't be good for the computers." His voice was level and apathetic. 

Hermione shrugged, she'd get to it when she got to it. Standing behind him as he made the coffee and kissing his neck where she could reach it. Severus gave her a look. "What? Now? Take it down this moment?" 

Nodding, he looked back to the coffee. 

Scrunching her nose and giving her partner a look of consternation Hermione stomped peevishly out of the room and down the small hall to their bedroom. He did weird things like this sometimes, but really did it have to be on New Year and when all she wanted was to make love to him for hours on end. Unzipping part of her dress she leaned down in front of her laptop, turning it on. Finding the internet tab and hitting that as well. Severus was right, there was a lot of spam, there was also a message pending icon. Interesting. Clicking it, she almost laughed out loud at the name. SP60. Shaking her head at the silly man she had come to love, and opened the message, her breath caught in the back of her throat as she read.

_ SP60: Marry me, Bookgirl? _

The screen started to swim a bit as Hermione brought a shaking hand to her lips. Stunned briefly then with a little laugh, furiously typing out a quick reply.

_ BookGirl1984: Yes. _

Whirling around, she went to search out the wonderful man, but he was right behind her, in the doorway. His mobile held in hand, obviously looking at the site from there. His eyes lifted to hers and he smiled. A real genuine smile from Severus Snape was something to be seen, her heart clenched in her chest, and Hermione flung herself into his arms without a second thought. Holding her at a distance for a moment, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a black velvet box. Revealing the diamond-studded gold band, Severus slipped it onto her finger after another nod from Hermione. With the ring in place, she once again pressed close to him, inhaling the scent of her lover, partner and best friend. Severus seemed to release a relieved breath and Hermione couldn't help but grin like an idiot into his shirt. 

They had been waiting a long time for someone exactly like them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it! If anyone is interested I have the first chapter of a new story up, if you want to read. If you do let me know what you think. <3 you all! muah!


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